Ass-byss

27 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by LoLa in Deep Thougts, Funny, Rants, Underwear

Have you ever wondered why some men can’t find their wallet and keys?  Have you ever looked for hours with them trying to find one or the other?  I did this a month ago, I searched every nook and cranny for a set of keys.  I was on a date and we were at a company party and we had been ALL over the location we were at.  So, we knew the keys could be ANYWHERE!  And it wasn’t just us, his entire company was looking for the elusive keys.  It wasn’t until I came up behind him and grabbed his butt that all was resolved.  He had not realized that his keys were in his back pocket the entire time.  This is, I believe do to the Assbyss!  (This is a new term that I am now coining!)  The Assbyss is where you lose things in the back of your jeans.  There by going to the Abyss that resides near your ASS!  This is typically a problem for the men in the world whose pants are too big for them.  Or the young guys who actually like to wear their pants with the waste hanging out down around their knees.  They have no idea what is in their pockets because their pockets are no where close to touching their bodies or their ass’s.  

I think that society as a whole should be doing what we can to affectively change the Assbyss phenomenon from happening!  Think of the countless hours of searching for lost articles that we would not be needed!  What if we simply walked up to these guys and pulled their jeans up for them? 

“excuse me!  What the hell !?  Why are you yanking on my belt loops?”  He asks

“Oh I am sorry, I was just following through with a public service announcement to stop useless searching and just make you are aware of whats in your Assbyss!  Did you actually mean to have your underwear hanging out?  Did you not want the waste of your pants to actually reside on your waste, where they belong?”  I would ask.

I think this would be a good Service to perform for two reasons, 1- we would save time and energy on random searches.  2- maybe then we wouldn’t have to look at all these men with their underware’d butts  hanging out.

(Small note- to give my date some credit, he was not one of these types of guys who pulls his jeans down past his butt.  He was just having a skinny day and things were not fitting him right.)