Doing It Up Limo Style

My actual birthday this year fell on a very boring weekday. I of course took the day off (actually I took the week off, but I digress) so I could play.  You know me, I have to do something really cool on my actual birthday; so, I don’t get depressed. Yes, I know I just got back from Las Vegas but still had to do something on my a actual birthday. Right?

I love to go wine tasting and going up to wine country and wine tasting for free is so much fun, but someone always has to stay sober to drive home and that sucks for them. So, I thought to myself, “self,  wouldn’t it be fun this year for my actual birthday to rent a limo and go to the wine country for the day”?

One of my BFF’s and I were together when this idea came up and she instantly jumped on it (along with my “self”) and we started working it out.  Honestly she took care of everything for me. She lined up the limo, the times we would need it,  even the pick up locations. She was fantastic. She pretty much paid for it too! I put a shout out on Facebook to about 25 of my closest peeps, to see if anyone was willing to take the day off work and get drunk? 10 woman said yes to a limo wine tour.

In the end 6 of us played hookie and had a blast in the beautiful sweeping vineyards of Healdsburg and Geyserville California. It was a beautiful day. 

Again I was reminded that I am truly blessed with some of the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for.  They all paid for my lunch at Francis Ford Coppola’s restaurant, Rustic. It was so yummy, we all enjoyed ourselves immensely. 

Then it was off to several wineries where we proceeded to get more and more hammered. 


In the end I was a very bad girl and I mixed my alcohols… Again.  The consumption went something like this, secco, champagne, secco, champagne, red wine, white whine, champagne, red wine, more red wine, more champagne, two coma Cozzi drinks and one vodka and cranberry. Believe it of not; some how, I didn’t get sick?!  I did black out and I was still drunk the next morning but I didn’t  care I took that day off to. 

Just another fabulous birthday in LoLa-land

Never A Dull Moment

Look, I’ve been working for 30 years so far this lifetime and I have seen and dealt with a lot of crazy shit.  I’ve had to try and kill a cockroach with my bare hand while working in the food industry. When I worked with kids I had to talk to an angry father about how I could not make all the kids in the daycare get AIDS tested because his kid kept getting ear infections. While doing books alone in a home for a private contractor, I had the entire cities SWAT team show up at his house to arrest someone in his family and it was just me and the dog chilling.  So, you can imagine when my hot client asked me yesterday, “can I write off prostitutes as Other Proessional Servcies”, didn’t really phase me at all. 

“Was she professional” I asked him

“Not really” he replied

Without skipping a beat I said, “well then you can’t write her off as a business expense. But, you may be able to write off the medical expenses you will surely have from seeing her”. 

(I’m a good bookkeeper because I always try to give my clients good news after I’ve   given them the bad news.) 

Just another boring day in LoLa-Land

You Miss Me

It’s been so long since I last heard your voice
I wish before you said goodbye I had a choice

I can hardly remember the slopes on your lips
Gone are the tantric positions and pivoting hips

Giggling mercifully while being stuck together
I Foolishly thought you would be here forever

I miss your super-sized long lasting hugs
They always made me feel “snug as a bug”

Your hot breath blowing against forhead
While being curled up on your big comfy bed

I miss our long discussions about nothing,  really
It’s like being in a Seinfeld episode but it’s reality

Since you moved I’ve missed you so much
It actually hurts for me to keep in touch

It always hurts when I think of you
I do my best to think of something new

I wear my pain of your leaving on my sleeve
From the what I’ve heard you’ve been missing me

Tracey And Her Friends

I’ve written about my friend Tracey before, primarily because she’s Note worthy. I wrote an entire post called, Doing It Tracey’s Way because I found the time I spent with her so fun. So of course going to Las Vegas with her seemed like a Kick Ass idea.  We had a blast as I suspected. The first night when she wasn’t sick to her stomach, was an adventure. We did lots of walking around on the strip and even went to old strip or rather “Freemont Street” and in usual Tracey style she asked me to take pictures of her with any random type of character she could. There was one I didn’t snap a photo of because I was looking for our Uber but I did manage to get these.  

This lovely lady was in one of the door ways of our hotel; offset high up in her own little brick alcove. Tracey climbed into the cove and proceeded to pretend licking the statues private parts, while yelling at me to “take a picture!!!”  

After that she stayed a little tame which I found very surprising because…. It’s Vegas baby. Things are always heating up there.  

We had a lot of fun posing and shopping inside the Bellagio.   I think Tracey’s next boyfriend is standing behind the horse.  

She just loves the characters. I wonder if she’s a furrie Deep down?  (You Never know and I’m not judging either way). 
This one is the one I wanted a picture of.  In California there is a very strict “no open alcoholic containers in public” law. See, I was already trippen when we were leaving the restaurant and the waitress gave us both a to-go cup of our booze.  You can’t do that in California, the liquor stays in the bar or home. So, to be able to be not only walking around in public with alcohol; but, to be doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COPS!!! Well, that just blew my mind. Holly crap! I’m not going to get arrested. So, this time I asked if I could get a picture. 

No they aren’t strippers. Everyone who sees the picture now thinks that they were. But, like I told my Neice, “I’ve never been bashful about admitting when I’ve hung out with strippers before. Why would I start lying now?”  Here’s how in shock I was.  I was so giddy to be drinking I was more concerned with my cup showing in the picture that I didn’t even notice how hot the two cops were until I looked at the picture later.  

Four Rooms in Two Days

For my birthday hotel room in Vegas I had to sit back for awhile and asses what was the most important thing to me was. Did I want a jacuzzi tub, a view, a vibrating bed or to be in the center of everything? I decided that I wanted a view.  The view was the most important thing to me.  I chose a hotel that looked nice and also had some high floors.  What finally made me chose the hotel I did over the others was their floor to ceiling panoramic views.  While I was reserving the room on line they offered me a great deal on an upgrade to a king suite in the tower!! It also promised strip views and free breakfast.  So, I jumped on it because I wanted the best view posable and the upgrade promised higher views. 

When my girlfriend and I Got to the hotel her room was done and mine was not. She purchased what I had originally had before I upgraded.  She had this suite on 63rd floor.  ​

We went to eat and after a few hours my room was ready. Because I had upgraded I got to go to the special registration area for the rich and elite.  We waited for awhile while in the nicer registration area, but we were so excited to see the room we didn’t care.  When it was finally my turn I asked my attendant, “my room faces the strip right”? 

“No ma’am but you have a beautiful view of the mountains” she responded. 

“Ma’am I was promised strip views online, that’s why I upgraded” I state rather irritated.  

The woman types away at her computer and say, “ok ma’am I found you another suite” and proceeds to hand me my plastic card.  “Ma’am just go straight behind you to the private bank of elite elevators and go to the 38th floor”. 

“38th? Is that lower than the 63rd floor” I ask, knowing that answer but wanting them to admit it to me. 

She looks perplexed, “yes ma’am it is”. 

Now I’m getting mad.   I’m feeing very screwed at this point.  “Well when I upgraded online I was not only promised a strip view but a higher suite in the tower as well. Why would I be 20 floors lower than my friends who paid $50 less than me” I asked her obviously upset?  

My friend trying to be the optimist says, “let’s go look at it LoLa it may be an amazing view and an amazing room”! 

Spurred on by her excitement I took the keycard begrudgingly thanked the woman helping me and turned to the private elevator waiting to take me to my amazing suite. And Waiting is what we did.  We stood in the fancy lobby for rich people waiting for the rich people’s elevator for 10 minutes. I looked at my friend and said, “your elevators came 10 seconds after we pushed the button”.  

Finally the lift comes and we get on. Anxious as hell to finally see my room. We had already been in Vegas for 3 hours and I hadn’t even gotten rid of my bags. I couldn’t wait to unpack and go see some sites! The doors open and we jump off the elevator, only to discover three steps out that we were only on the 34th floor. I wanted to scream because I knew what was about to happen. I turned back to the three elevators and pushed the up button; and then we waited.  After another 5 minutes a door opened and we took the lift to our floor. 

I put the key in the door and made a little wish, “please be magnificent”! When I pushed the door open I saw the exact same room as my friends.  Which as impressive as it is was not special at all looking at the back of another building and directly over the party pool. My shoulder slumped and my insides started to boil at the same time. 

I sat down at the same desk and lifted the same phone my friend had in her room and called the special rich persons front desk. “Hi this is room 3822 I would like a new room. I was promised a high suite and a strip view this is neither”. 

“Well ma’am with your offer you also get concierge and a free breakfast in bed every day! Up to $30”. (she said the last part very quickly under her breath)!  

“I don’t care about any of that! I just wanted to be up high with a view.  I want to be down graded back to where my friend is and I want a higher room please”. I demanded. 

I heard her computer keys clicking and then she said “ok I can give you a 59th floor and I have credited the $100 back to your card.  Stay in the room and we will bring you your new room key.” Smart woman didn’t want me causing a fit downstairs I bet.  “Ma’am from now on you are no longer a tower suite guest so you must use the regular bank of elevators and the main registration desk for any of your needs”. She Warned me, as if to let me know I was no longer worthy of the rich persons special immunities. 

“Oh THANK GOD!!! Thank you so much for Your help!” I said on the other end of the phone. I don’t think that was the reaction she was expecting. 

Soon our bell rang and a bellhop brought us my new room keys. The only thing o said to him was, “thank you” and ” can you please direct us to the common people’s bank of elevators”?  He pointed through some double doors and off we went.  As soon as we pushed the button on the “normal” elevators one of the doors shot open.  It didn’t take long at all to finally arrived at my newest room and you will never guess what?!    (Wait for it!)    IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME as all of the rest. 

The next morning around 2:30 when I finally laid my head down to sleep all I could hear was the booming of drums from very loud music.  I couldn’t figure out why it was so loud.  I got up and looked out the window and that’s the first time I noticed there was a pool party pool right below my window. 

extream close up above party pool


But 59 stories to be exact so why on earth can I hear that? I climbed back in bed and ended up tossing and turning until 4am when I finally asked the front desk for earplugs. Which interestingly enough they provide free of charge (that’s not to common is it?) 

When I woke up later that day I called the front desk.  (Yes I did! I had the nerve to) “Ma’am how may I assist you” the woman on the other end asked me? 

“Hi, yes, can I get a room on the other side of the hotel? Up high?”  (Yes I had the nerve to ask for that too.) 

Irritated the woman told me nothing was available but she would call me back if that changed. I thanked her and my girlfriend and I went on our way. About 4 hours later they called and said they had a room on the 61st floor facing the mountains.  I thanked them for their help and accepted the room. I rushed back to the hotel, got the new keycard and gathered up everything I owned and threw it in my bag and off I went to the 61st floor.  Walked into my final home for my final evening in Vegas and guess what, it was exactly the same room.  But, I do love that room. I slept like a baby. 

Just another travel day in LoLa- Land

An 8 There 3 Here 

There’s something that’s been very depressing for me during my yearly birthday trip this year.   In my drive to get the best of the best of the best, I’ve managed to make myself acutely aware of the fact that I’m not at my best.   Being at this amazing hotel, surrounded by such stores as Dior and Graff, I have also surrounded myself with the very rich people who can afford such stores.  But, this post is not  about feeing depressed about my economic status.  I’ve been all to aware of my financial ceiling for awhile now and I’ve grown accustomed to it.  No, what’s been depressing me is not the fact that, I can’t buy myself a $4000.00 dress but rather The fact that, all the people I’m   surrounded by here are beautiful!!!

They all have amazing bodies and beautiful clothes. Even when They are hardly wearing anything, instead of looking trashy they look stunning. I’m not a lesbian and yet I found myself admiring many of the woman I have seen here.  I don’t know if I want to fuck them or be them?  I’m not sure if having money makes you beautiful or if being beautiful helps you make more money? But, I know money definitely helps you stay beautiful. 

I can’t afford a personal trainer.  A weekly spray tan or manicures. I can’t afford to have a chef make all my well balanced meals to keep me in good shape.  I can’t afford the plastic surgery or Botox that some people have done.  All of these things keep you beautiful. Then you add in really well made clothing and the availability to chose from an ample selection, and you have all the people I am surrounded by.  In this hotel I’m a 3, maybe?  

My girlfriend and I walked down the strip to a nearby hotel because it has a crazy ride we wanted to go on. As soon as we walked you could tell it was probably a cheaper hotel then the one we were staying in because the decor looked dated and wasn’t nearly as impressive. The stores are more like “$10.00 everything”. But, what struck me as interesting more than the old decor, is the fact that the patrons were not so pretty.  There were fat people, ugly people, half naked people that looked like whores and a lot of bad hair and style choices.   

As I looked around I saw unattractive men checking me out and I realized, “hell in this place, I’m a 8!”  In this place there was far less perfection and far more every day normal.  I actually said to my girlfriend, “hell girl of we had stayed here I probably could have gotten laid”!  Whereas, where we stayed, the beautiful men didn’t bother even looking my direction because there was so very much more impressive Eye candy for them to focus on.  The very last thing I wanted to do was to take my cratered size 14 ass and put it in a bathing suit next to all of these size 0, 1’s and 2’s running around in thongs.  The idea of it actually horrified me. 

What’s a girl to do in this situation? Should I only stay in the crappier hotels because I will then feel better about myself? Continue to stay in nicer hotels because…. Hello; they’re nicer? Or do I suck it up and finally realize at the ripe old age of 43, that I am who I am and I have nothing to feel embarrassed by?  I guess we will just have to see what road I decide to take.

Just another awareness day in LoLa-Land

2016 Birthday Trip

It’s that time again!  It’s birthday time! Once again, I can not sit by idle, waiting for something amazing to happen to me. If I let my birthday come and go without anything special happening I get very depressed.  Like I’ve said, every year since I started this blog, “I expect a parade in my honor”.  Well every year can’t be once in a lifetime all expenses paid trips to Italy.  Or they would just be, “yeah we’re going to Italy, AGAIN” trips. 

This year I’m taking my ass to Vegas!!! I’ve never been there (well as an adult). Since  I have a goal to go somewhere new every year, I thought Vegas could be fun. I love to go on or near my birthday because it kills two birds with one stone (so to speak). I get the need to have a special birthday and visiting New place out at once. 

I don’t really know what to expect? I mean I’ve seen Vegas many times on TV but, I know enough of tv to know what you see on the screen is not what is in real life ( if you’ve ever been to Hollywood you would know this is true). I am expecting the hustle and bustle of time square and the heat of Florida. I’m expecting to love my room and I’m hoping for an amazing view.  Because I spoiled myself and upgraded multiple times to a king tower suite with a strip view. My hope is that I am not too miserable being in the desert heat.  Really I just hope that I don’t melt into a puddle of sweat on the concrete. 

We found out that the Mr. Universe completion is this weekend in Vegas. So, I’m expecting to see lots of huge big muscle men wandering around, beating their chests and flexing their thighs for anyone who asks. Should be interesting. I can’t wait. 

Just another new birthday Experiance in LoLa-Land. 

Jim

The best memory I have of him was in the pool. He was so damn tall standing at 6’6. He could walk almost the entire length of the pool with his head above water.  I would climb up Jims body in the shallow end of the pool, until I was siting securely on his shoulders, with his head nestled in between my thighs. If I ever felt like I was going to fall off I would grip his neck with my thighs and his chest with leg muscles. 

Once I was ready and holding on tight he would start to walk deeper into the pool. At this point he would be, maybe knee  Deep in the water.  Once we were no where  near any of the pool walls he would stop walking and I would proceed carefully to a standing position. Now if you can imagine this please. This was when I was about 6 to 8 years old. When I was a child I was very very skinny and a super toe-head blonde.  My little ol body would be completely exposed (to n I felt like I was flying), the earth about 7 or 8 feet away from my face, I was high!!!  (For a young girl this was really high). 

Once I was steady standing on his shoulders. With my ankles gripping his head and my toes trying to grip the loose skin around his collarbone, he would start to walk again. He would walk all the way to the deep end. As he walked he would become more and more submerged in the water. I would watch from above as the water got closer and closer,  which would bring relief to my excited heart.  Once Jim reached the deep endhe would   become completely submerged by the water and I would suddenly be in the water up to my knees. 

Jim would continue to walk us, with his head under water, all the way to the wall of the deep end.  Once he arrived to the other end of the pool from which he started, he would do one of two things. He would either turn around and stand for a minute and then tap my foot. Which told me to jump off because he was out of air. I would then leap off in some awkward half dive, half belly flop; Because, my legs were in the water already. Or he would turn and walk all the way back to the wall of the shallow end, all the while leaving me standing on his shoulders.  

During this entire stunt, He would not be holding on to me with his hands in any way and I would not hold onto him, except for with my ankles.   I used to love when Jim and I would do this. It is one of my only fond memories of him. I would only be scared up there on his shoulders when we were all the way back in the shallow end, because then I was taller then when I started and didn’t have the buffer landing of water on one side any longer.(not to mention the water was so shallow I doubt it would help that much with regards to a smoother landing. When we did this dog and pony trick of ours, we would make my mom a nervous wreck and she would sternly say his name, “jjjimmmmmm”??  All it was, was one word and yet what you heard was, “kill my daughter man and I will break you”! Other than that, she would stay in her lounge chair cool as a cucumber and just watch.  

Those were some fun moments in young LoLa-Land. 

The Inconsiderate teenager 

I was kind of appalled at my nieces behavior yesterday after her party. Granted she was all hyped up on popularity and sugar but a small amount of appreciation is always needed in these moments.  There were several times last night I would leave the peace of my master suite and make sure the madness of teenager girls wasn’t to maddening. I would usually refill my water cup and cleanup what ever needed to be cleaned up and then go back to my shelter. 

When all the ladies left this morning, I cleaned up the living room and kitchen, took out all the full garbage cans and filled up the dishwasher.  Later I asked my Neice who had the party. “When the dishwasher is  done can you empty it”?  Now officially this is not her chore it’s her sisters but it had been emptied by her sister the day before and was filled up by the party cups. It seemed fare to me to have her put the clean glasses away since she barely did anything else for her own party.  

Instead of doing it she gave me lip!  “That’s not my job”. She said to me in protest. 

“True but your friends filled it up so you can empty it”. I replied. 

“That’s not fare!! Are you going to make her take out the trash”? (The trash is this ones chore).  She asked, as if she had just discovered the best offense to my request. 

“Actually I emptied the trash for you several times” I said not even looking at her. 

“Well I don’t…” She started again with her argument and I interrupted her. 

“You haven’t Even said thank you yet” I noted. 

“For what”? She asked. 

I almost left my sisters house right then and there. Really?! I didn’t get to sleep until 3:30 in the morning because of her and her loud friends. I didn’t have to say yes to chaperoning this event! I didn’t have to get pizza, munchies or doughnuts in the morning and she’s asking me for what?  The biggest thing though that makes me more hurt than anything else is the way she treated me the entire time.

“All you did was host” she said to me and then walked away. 

I don’t know. I feel like my sister is a good mom. I don’t feel like she spoils her kids too much. I don’t know why this one has such a feeling of entitlement like she is some how more deserving then the rest of us  and can treat everyone like shit?  Where does that come from?  

Just Another Jaw Dropping day in LoLa-Land 

The Sunnyside Of Life

It’s September again.  Last years septembers theme was like this. 

Italy September 2015


If you’ve followed me long you know, it’s my birthday month.  (Yes I get the entire month).  I mean I share, but I celebrate for a month.  This years September theme is like this. 

 So, last weekend I went and stayed with five woman in Tahoe. (No it’s not Italy.  But in my world Italy is just not possible every year).  We were near  “Sunnyside” (of life) in Tahoma. 


Three of the woman are some of my main peeps. One woman I had met once before and one I had never met.  We split up all the Booze and food and all were responsible for something. Me, I got most of the booze. I got a Costco size of vodka and three flavored seltzer waters for the water and soda.  I also brought four bottles of red wine and one white. One of the other  woman brought three bottles of white wine and a small vodka. Yet still, The home owner purchased a large gallon vodka while we were there because we ran out of alcohol the last day. The six of us drank all of that plus some in three days. We were the most well fed lubricated group of  40 something year old woman any of these people have ever seen. 


We ate like kings with one woman busting out some homemade tamales,  with rice and beans. Another woman making barbequed chicken and Tri-tip, with fresh from her garden tomatoes andmozzarella chease and corn on the cob. For dessert everynight we munched on anything we could dip into our dark chocolate Fondu. Marshmallows, strawberries, pretzels, apples, graham crackers al of it is amazing in chocolate. 

I had to hug the trees as they called to me all day to touch them.  I found a friend who would hug them with me.   We discussed relationship Pubic hair, kids and men all weekend. I realized as we drove my car home, that I was again so very blessed to have the friends I have to allow me to enjoy such beautiful sites with such great laughs for free. 
 I had the best time on our trip.  But when we got home, I actually had to talk to my body Tuesday when I was back at work,to remind it that, “what you’re feeling is called sobriety. You will get accustomed to it soon just have some smoothie and get a grip”. 

This is just the start to the fun I will be having this month!  Stay tuned to find out more. 


Just another fun birthday month in LoLa-Land 

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan