I am a Domestic Goddess

I am a domestic goddess and not for the reason you may think. I am not a good house keeper, everything is dusty and old. There is so much clutter everywhere that it seems futile to bother moving things to dust.  The kitchen I am sure has several scientific experiences going on in it, at this very moment. But ask me if I care.  I would vacuum if I was given some guarantee that I would not see something else that needed vacuuming as soon as I have put the damn vacuum away. The windows would be cleaned on a regular basis, because I do love being able to look out of them. But, can anyone tell me that there is not some Bird council that looks for such clean windows. All in hopes of using said window as target practice for the flock?  What about the dishes, why the hell would I bother with those?  Every single time I wash them, SOMEONE USES THEM AGAIN!  What is that?  It’s washed, it’s clean, leave it alone?  I have this exact same problem with Laundry, why when I wash the clothes are people so hell-bent on making them dirty again?  And don’t get me started about the Crusty panties that are left inside the pants all in hopes that I will be the one to fish them out!

These domestic chores they suck the life force out of me.  I hate them!  All of them.  There is not one domestic chore that I enjoy doing.  Hell even paying the bills usually leads me to some sort of emotional breakdown, requiring a box of kleenex and a strong sedative.  So, why do you ask am I, of all people a Domestic Goddess?  It’s a good question, I find that sometimes doing these chores of domesticity are far more enjoyable when I am naked.  Maybe sporting a little lace panty and sexy top, I blast the stereo with my latest favorite female singer and get busy.  There is something a little provocative about vacuuming in the buff or folding laundry in a G-string.  I know woman who like to wear garter belts to work even though they are a pain in the ass, it makes them feel sexy.  I think my Domestic Goddess behavior comes from this origin, I think it all comes down to doing any thing to feel sexy.  Not to mention that when you splash water on yourself while doing the dishes, you don’t have to deal with a wet shirt all day.  Your skin is water-resistant.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. karen
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 13:51:30

    I am sure Andy would love it if I cleaned house in my underwear and bra! You are hilarious!!

    Reply

  2. Dillypoo
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 21:02:25

    The aversion to house chores must be genetic, although I do make my bed every morning. It’s the only chore I do daily. I can wait to vacuum until it’s hard to distinguish a cat from a dust bunny, but I hate crawling into an unmade bed!

    Reply

  3. Emily
    Sep 26, 2010 @ 04:44:06

    Making the bed naked after my shower is an absolute must! In 10 years, maybe I will have the luxury of vacuuming this way or baking a chocolate cake! Right now, my 10 year old would be doing one of two things, laughing and hitting mommy’s naked butt or jumping on the couch over chocolate cake. One day.

    Reply

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Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan