Bra Shopping

It must be a week for underwear, because when I won the most bunko’s prize last weekend, my dear sweet friend looked at me, then looked at my boobs and said, ‘Maybe you should take that money and go buy yourself a new bra”. Most people would probably be irritated or maybe even a bit offended by this comment.  I on the other hand laughed and then said, “that is a good idea” as I grabbed my jugs and walked away. 
today I went to Bra store and the sales clerk or brassiere technician, and I go into the dressing room.  Where I am now instructed to take off my shirt and I proceed to have this complete stranger wrap her arms around my back with a measuring tape to measure for my size.  She was trying really hard not to touch me and she did just fine.  But, it is weird, being half-naked in front of a perfect stranger.  It is even more weird, to have them so close to you and then letting them just take information from you (like your bust size), without even having a meal or a cigarette with them first.  I didn’t even know this womans name and she was so close she could have just laid her head in my bosom.  While she was taking my cup size measurement, I was looking everywhere in the small room but at her.  It was like when you go to the gynecologist the last thing you want to do is sit there and look at the doctor, as they are head first in between your legs.  I was also thinking, “Thank god im not a lesbian or I would probably become turned on”  and have some outward sign that I was.

The “over the shoulder bolder holder master” determined my size and promptly left me alone in my cell (oops I mean room).  After waiting for what felt like an eternity she returned with an assortment of beautiful breast torture devices.   Now, trying on bras sucks to say the least.  I actually  hate to try on Bras. It’s up there with Wedding dress shopping, but without the 400  lbs of lace and taffeta to deal with. You still get the scratches all over your chest from the lace and the bra straps. You start to feel like you’re putting sandpaper on your body.  With each bra comes a new issue, one bra my boobs actually fell out of the cup. The second bra made me look like Madonna’s cone phase.  The third bra was way to small and I ended up with four tits.  Which is a great look when you’re wearing a low-cut reveling dress and trying to get someones attention.  But, it is quite a different look when wearing anything normal. 

Finally I tried on one that fit good, felt ok, not to scratchy, but; the damn thing is black.  Don’t get me wrong black bras are sexy and necessary.  But, if you know me you know what a slob I am.  Most of the time when I get home in the middle of the day I will have food on my shirt, ink marks on my hands and dirt on my butt (usually from falling).  If I need to leave for another appointment, which I usually need to do.  I grab a change of shirt and dash out the door.  It is usually half way through meeting with a client that I realize I am now wearing a white tank top with my new black bra and I am a close resemblance to Poor White Trash.   I start to wonder to myself if they think I am selling some other service? 
It’s just another day in LoLa-Land


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. karen
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 19:42:23

    so, did you buy it? or did you make them search their store and all the other stores for a white or beige one that would be more appropriate under a white tank top??? Your adoring fans want to know….


  2. LoLa
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 19:44:55

    I did buy the black bra and have plans on wearing it under the most revealing white shirt I have as soon as possiable.


  3. Jingle
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 08:55:51



  4. Jingle
    Oct 20, 2010 @ 08:55:56
    I invite you to attend Thursday Poets Rally week 31.
    sign in, link in a poem, visit and comment for 18 poets, get yourself known to the community….you are represented as a fresh poets to explore, can’t wait to have your talent shared with fellow poets.
    let me know when you are ready.
    r rock!


  5. Nicole
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 06:15:46

    Your writing is so descriptive and funny!


  6. LoLa
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 11:58:29

    Thank you Nicole. LOL I try


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan