The Annual

Any woman who cares a bit about herself has to do the same annoying thing every year, the annual exam!  Oh what fun the annual exams are.  Not only do you get to look forward to a near perfect stranger getting a little too familiar with your vagina. You also have to know about 3 months ahead of time when you think you will or won’t be on your period.  And of course as the day of the Annual “pain in the Va Jay Jay” nears you start to focus more on your appearance down there.   I mean you don’t want the doctor to have to use a weed whacker just to find your vagina. 

It’s always an uneasy drive to the doctor’s office.  It’s one of those appointments that you have to do but hate to do.  To make things even worse you have to get to the apt. early to fill out forms because it’s been a year since you saw this doctor.  And once you finish your paperwork the doctor is ALWAYS late meeting with you.  So, you get to sit in your uncomfortable knowledge of the violation that is about to happen to you, even longer!  You finally get called into the procedures room and the first thing they want you to do is weigh yourself in the hallway.  As if you aren’t freaked out enough, now you can be secure in knowing that everyone else there knows how fat you are! 

After waiting for what feels like an hour in the stiff, ugly, grandma-floral robe, they make you put on with the opening in the front, the doctor finally shows up; let the misery commence.  First there is the breast exam where your naked boob is exposed to the cold air and pushed and needed like a piece of dough.  All of this done in order to find any cancerous bumps.  Then the doc proceeds to the really fun part!  A shiver travels up your back as you catch a glimpse of the Silver torture device they use to crank your vagina open with.  It always reminds me of some sort of drawbridge, but it actually works more like a pair of scissors.  You lay perfectly still because your body feels like it is being opened from the inside and your scared that if there are any sudden movements, this mid evil torture device is gonna stab you from the inside and pop out your body. 

After the violation has finished your allowed to sit up and the doctor proceeds to tell you all the good and bad things about body parts you didn’t even know you had.  ultimately finishing with, “well your still alive” and then walks out the door.  Sitting cold alone in the crappy sheet robe with my boobs hanging out, I wonder why I feel used?  “Is this when we have the cigarette?”  I Joke.  No one answers.  Thank God. Just another day in LoLa- Land.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. LoLa
    Nov 22, 2010 @ 12:20:22

    HI Bet05hello
    My blog theme is available through WordPress for free. It is called Coy I believe. Glad you liked it.

    Reply

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Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan