Diva Shopping

Some of my ladies took me shopping today. Santa never came through with the new jeans but, my mom and dad gave me a crisp bill and I went SHOPPING!  The ladies I decided to venture out to Shopping hell with are particular divas. They always look good. Hair is always perfect, make up is always stunning. Their clothes are always trendy and they always seem to accent their positives to a tee. So, I thought who better to take me out to spend my Parental units Christmas gift. You have to know I hate to shop, and maybe this comes from my First G-string experience? (to learn more about that search my blog for My first G-string) or maybe it’s because I have been fat for so long? I don’t know but, I do, I hate to shop!  So we get to this enormous Forever 21 store and my friends look me up and down, get my sizes and then they disperse. Like a flock of bees descending on their next crop of untapped flowers, they swarmed the entire store for things for me to try on. I wondered around amused, looking at all the lifeless garments hanging from the racks. They all seem to only come in medium. I would occasionally see some cute little ruffle thing that I just loved and I would pull it up and shout across the store, ” Hey Kel, what about this? Or Lex I like this what do you think?” And they would both give me the same response. There would be the slight tilt of the head, as if to say, “oh… she really should have been on the little yellow bus”. Then they would scrunch up their noses a bit and shake their heads “no”. I finally gave up looking and found a couple of pairs of jeans that were in what I thought was my size. I ended up buying 1 thing that I picked out and 6 things they picked for me. And this is why I bring the Divas Shopping.
Just another day in Lola-land

Hi Santa….

Me in one side of my old jeans


For christmas this year I need some new jeans
It is this Santa request that I make joyfully

I have tried for so long to lose so much weight
It’s been a life long lesson in weight loss hates.

I have tried all the diets, the plans and the pills
I have worked out for hours and this I do still.

Staying away from the holiday sweets,
The cookies, the cakes and chocolate treats.

When I look in the mirror my butt looks deflated
I have to admit this makes me elated.

Santa I beg you, before my pants fall down
Please bring me some clothes, when you come to town.

Navigational Systems

My friend told me the other day that she had her navigational system’s voice changed. Then she had the thing give us directions and this really Sexy female voice comes over the speaker, ” at the next stop (puuuur) you will need to tuuuuurrnn right. meow”.  RIGHT ON!  Was all I could think.  But, what I said was, “why not make it some sexy Latin lover man?”
“oh that was extra.” she replied.  Hello, Why is the man cost money and the woman free?  What is that all about?  But I digress and she kept going into more detail, “before it was some bitch who was like, TURN RIGHT AT THE NEXT LIGHT!!! and she was really impatient. I had to replace her because she made me want to throw the damn thing out the window.”
 I asked, “what if they have different ethnicities, regional slang and nationalities as voices? Like if you are Chinese you want some one from chinese decent. You could be from the hood and have it set up to say, ‘Yo bitch hit it to the right and bust it out like there’s a cap coming at yo ass.’ ” Or if you were really religious you could have it say things like, “After you turn right on Saint Andrews, known for his faithful work at the mission. You will see a church 20 feet ahead please stop and pray for a moment if you need too. Praise jesus!'”
It was after I went on this long diatribe to which I just thought was hysterical, my friend calmly turned to me and said,
“yeah they have all of that.”

Oh well, here I thought I had come up with another brilliant idea!

My Rules

You can say you don’t understand
Digging your heals in the sand

It’s the why and the what that you need
It’s the rules that I have, don’t you see

It’s not about you but the lessons I’ve learned
It’s a love and trust that has to be earned

This is not a game or a power trip, if you will
It’s about a long life worth living, that’s the deal

I’ll roll with the punches, I’ll sit back for the ride
But, by my own rules, I have to abide

Rules I have designed to fit with my needs
from the lessons I’ve learned, by the pain I have seen

Not meant to punish, but to protect my sweet heart
remembering their purpose can be hard at the start

I try very hard to keep them in the back of my mind
But, I sometimes forget and It’s only pain that I find

Don’t take it personally, It’s not about you
We all have our shields and this is one too

Depressing Christmas Days

I have always been a fan of Christmas time.  I love all the lights and decorations.  They light up the city at night and make the most boring structure a beautiful sight.  It of course can be quite distracting when you are trying to drive, but still nice.  Seeing all of this holiday festivities make me feel happy and joyful.  Don’t get me wrong the decorations look just as special in the day time.  With little train tracks cruising around the dressed up, santa-snoopy sitting on his dog house.  But, lately the days of this season have been just down right depressing.  I knew I was having a hard time during the days but I just couldn’t put my finger on it, “why am I not in a festive mood during the day?”  It was then that I passed a house with a huge blow-up santa and snowman laying face down, dead in the mud. Like fallen soldiers after the war.   All of these new whimsical Christmas characters that people are blowing and lighting each night in their yards, that turn our damp city into a Christmas wonderland.  Are turned off and essentially murdered during the day.  Lifeless and unused, it’s sad, as though no one cares enough to even cover them up their beaten down remains, as they lay dead on the ground.  So, as I pass through the neighborhood streets I am forced to view over and over again, what is now the carnage of Christmas.  As multiple Santa’s and Frosty’s lay useless in their final resting place.  ( that is until that night)

Just another day in the LoLa – Land

Love the way you lie

I have always been an Eminim fan and this evident you go into my music category.  I really love this new song that he and Rhianna did togther.  I guess you could say it speaks to me.

Hope you enjoy it.

Lyrics to The Way you Lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can’t breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
Come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good
It’s going great
I’m Superman
With the wind in his bag
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad
It’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you’re with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get ’em
Now you’re getting fucking sick
Of looking at ’em
You swore you’ve never hit ’em
Never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit ’em
You push
Pull each other’s hair
Scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down
Pin ’em
So lost in the moments
When you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it’s best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin’ over
But you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn’t mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper’s just as bad
As mine is
You’re the same as me
But when it comes to love
You’re just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn’t you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed
I’ll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

LoLa

watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U

Missing First Love

It’s been so long since I’ve seen you my love

Shrouded in darkness, I have been scared to travel your way

Clouds loom over both of us

as Rain steals away our time and our hearts

I miss you so, my love

I crave your touch as I dream of being with you again

Your powerful presence embraces my soul

spins me in circles like a riptide

I long  to just be near you once more

To feel you next to me

showering me with a fine mist of love

I can feel your anger at my absence

Feeling the need to rush to you

the urgency to be with you is like the wind that blows the hair off my shoulders

Almost knocking me over as it sends chills down my spine

I will be with you again First love. 

Soon, really soon.

Electronic Bathrooms

Can I just climb up on the soap box for just a minute to complain about all the new electronic bathrooms.  When I say electronic bathrooms I am speaking of the Public restrooms that have automatic flushes, sinks, towels etc.  At first when they started coming out with these bathroom items I was excited.  How nice not to have to reach down and flush or reach out to turn the knob so I can wash my hands.  All of this “we’ll do it ourselves items”  appealed to my lazy side.  But, now I am just tired of all of them.  Now that all these electronic necessities are falling apart and they make me want to scream.

I hate it when I finally get a toilet after waiting in some long ass line at some public bathroom.  And as I am sitting there doing what I need to do, and the  toilet starts to flush… What is that?  Scares me every time and makes my pee stop coming.  Then it feels like I just sat on the top of a sprinkler spray as my butt cheeks get covered in toilet, water spray off.  Then when I am actually done taking care of business, some times I have to wait  and wait for the toilet to flush my waste away.  Flashing my hands and legs in front of the sensor.  While thinking to myself, “Man am I gonna have to sit back down to make this damn toilet flush again?”  But, then you take the risk of getting another wet butt and when you are dressed this is even more unappealing.

As if this wasn’t bad enough then I go to wash my hands, only to find more default sensors.  I will stand in front of the sink for like 5 mins waving my hands in front of the faucet.  Yet, to no avail I end up trying three different sinks before  one actually acknowledges that someone wants to use them.  Then it’s always a major irritation when it is freezing outside and I now have no choice as to what temperature my hand washing water is!  inevitably the water is cold and I start to worry that icicles might form on my hands before I can get the water dried off.   And really that fear is not that outlandish to consider as I am sure all of you have stood near countless electronic paper towel dispensers and not been able to get them to feed you some towels.  You are again frantically swinging your hand in front of the dispenser and nothing happens.  You start looking on the bottom to see if there is some button you don’t see.  You look over to the door to consider turning off and on the bathroom light, to see if that will trigger the paper towels to spring free from their plastic home.  

Going to the bathroom in public,  now takes me about 10 minutes longer than it ever did before.  Partly do to the fact that it takes so long for me to finish what I am doing and partly because everyone else is having the same problem.   Now when I leave my ass is damp with toilet water wash, my hands hurt they are so cold (but their clean) and my wrist starts to feel like I was a Beauty Queen in some sort  parade.  Because all the waving I had to do in front of every contraption in the bathroom, I now feel like I might get tendonitis in my wrist!

Weight loss solution

Do you want a sure-fire easy weight loss solution? Have someone spill milk or leave an open container of moldy veggies somewhere in your fridge. This way every time you get hungry and you open the fridge you are hit with the nastiest, putrid smell that makes your nose close, eyes water and you start to gag. You won’t be hungry anymore, works like a charm every time.  Of course this works better if you store most of your junk food in the fridge or don’t live to close to a store or fast food place.  And if you do have the same person you had sabotage your fridge hide your keys too.

A Little Something

I would rather have a little something than nothing at all
A simple little pleasure before I take  the fall
Something is better than nothing when Angels come to call
I would tell them I had something, I didn’t live small.

I would rather be a little something than nothing at all
Be able to not only stand, but stand up tall
Knowing that when the time comes I will have to fall
Then I would just climb back up the wall.

I would rather see a little something than nothing at all
To say, “I went to Italy” and not just the mall
Go to china and walk the great wall
Get out of the house, do anything, get on the ball.

I would rather feel a little something than nothing at all
trying to really live my life now, enough with the stall
I know I must learn to walk after I learn to crawl
Living for nothing is something and it won’t do at all.

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan