$1.00 store

I went to the dollar store the other day looking for Easter treats. I thought it was kind of strange that when leaving this fine establishment (where the most I have ever spent was $36.00 for a major birthday party I was throwing), that they had a receipt checker checking my receipt to make sure I hadn’t stolen anything. We approach the very nice older white gentlemen with very few teeth and handed him my receipt. He barely skimmed it, only really checking on 2 items. Then wrote an enormous happy face down the center of my receipt, in dark green ink (thank god this wasn’t for business) and politely told us to have a nice day. I had to chuckle as we strolled to the car. I said, “That guy barely even checked any of our items? What is the point in paying a person to do that at the dollar store, it’s not like this is Costco? What’s going to happen, are they going to get robbed for something that costs a $1.00?”

Rainbow

Thank you so much Promising Poets group

I see the rainbow through the rain
All my worries slide down the drain

If I could wish for something dear
It would be that I remain right here

The storm clouds have past all the pain is on leave
All I feel is the joy and happiness, I’ve seen

I am thankful for both the joy and the sorrow
I am grateful for today, yesterday and tomorrow

I embrace my life and the memories I’ve had
I can’t help it, for a life  it hasn’t been bad

The rain will come back, I’ll be blinded again
But, I hope it’s this outlook I have in the end

I relish in my freedom, I rejoice in my song
Things that are this good could never be wrong

I’ll always look for the rainbows, I’ll always search for the gold
I’ll always seek with wonder, so my story can be told

And as the light rain starts to penetrate my heart
I promise to except the pain, not rip it apart

When I close my eyes to everything I’ve seen
I see a rainbow reflecting off the sea

I know in my heart, from the depths of my soul
That the rainbow I see is a person I know

With it’s colors and brightness, wonderful beauty
I know that this glories rainbow is me

Anything You want to Hear…

(spoken from a mans perspective)

I will tell you all the things you want to hear
tonguing them as soft whispers in your ear

Trust in me baby is all I have to say
To get you to see  things my way

Baby you’re so sexy to me
So, beautiful, don’t you see

Let me hold your hand in mine
Let me see if we can pass the time

Stay the night baby please don’t go
My lust for you I’m sure to show

I need you lovely,  I need your touch
My urge for you is a bit too much

I may not give you what you need right now
But give me time, Sexy I’ll come some how

I’ll tell you anything you need to hear
Just to keep that beautiful body near

I may not mean them, I may not care
for me having feelings is really rare

I’ll tell you, that you’re the only one
And when you get to close, I’ll run

You won’t know what hit you as I’m heading out the door
But, you’ll recognize the pain you have deep within your core

Don’t try to stop me, don’t try to cry
Everything I said to you was just a lie

I was playing you, now get the clue
I even lied when I said, “I love you”

I miss him

I miss him

I miss his laugh

I miss his arms

I miss the comforts of his home

I miss his jokes

I miss his song

I miss him

he is gone

Counting Stairs

Does anyone else out there like to count stairs?  I don’t know what it is about me; but, I like to count to myself whether I am going up them or down them.  Don’t get me wrong, though I do sometimes wonder if I am a bit of  a freak myself; I do not have to count out loud or move my lips when I am counting.  And I don’t have to do it every single time I go up or down stairs.  Usually it’s the ones that I use all the time.

I have no real reason as to why I count stairs but I have some assumptions. I wonder if I do it to cut the monotony of going up and down the same stairs over and over and over again?  What else do you have to do?    Then I wonder sometimes if I am expecting some sort of change in the number.  “13,14,15… hey where is 16?” Because then I would have to ask the obvious question that we would all have to ask, if there was 16 steps going up the stairs and only 15 coming down… “Who took the 16th step?”  🙂

sometimes I am fearful of climbing long staircases like those you would find leading to the observation deck of the Empire State Building.  Not because I am worried that I am too out of shape and couldn’t handle it.  But, because I would spend the entire climb counting the stairs. Just so I could  keep my mind off of the building pain in my butt cheeks and calves.  And then not only would I be in physical pain I would get a headache from trying to remember all of the numbers, 154873, 154874, 154875..  And then what happens if I LOSE COUNT?

I am the Rock

The bluff and I

Sitting with a friend, on a bluff overlooking the ocean

Restless waves roar into the beach

slamming into the large rocks that sit without moving over decades

Looking at me I can see the sadness in her big blue eyes

“I am the rock” she states as a matter of fact

“I stand motionless and the water slams into me

crashes all around me and over me

and still I don’t move, I don’t budge.”

Understanding her pain her acceptance of herself

A rock is what she may be.

One of solidarity and strength

Hard and unrelenting. 

She will move for no one or nothing.

She is a force from which you must move around.

She is the Earth

I reply, “I am the water.  I speed towards things with no care

I am in constant movement.

I will slow down for nothing, not even you.

I will stay my coarse and slam into you

Like a speeding train that hits a car left on the tracks

I will slice through you and never look back.”

She  sigh’s, “I wish I was the water”.

As I sometimes wish I was the rock.

We both stare longingly at the vast sea and wonder

Could that ever be?

Change and I

Never been here before, this place of disgrace
never meant to dance through the door, with a smile on my face
and as I search for the truths, hoping it’s the answers I’ll find
nothing is clear to me yet, the doubts I have make me blind

I am at ease when I am alone
Not comfortable in anyone’s home
No one else around to hurt
as change and I continue to flirt

what is this life I have made for me
it’s not all that you think you see
I’m missing something that I can’t define
It’s not a something you can just find

I trust my experiences, I trust my heart
But, still I’m  intent on ripping it apart
I run from love, I run from the pain
I fly like a dove out of the rain

I am at ease when I am alone
Not comfortable in anyone’s home
No one else around to hurt
as change and I continue to flirt

dissatisfied with the past, tortured by the present
how long will this doubt last, I know I learned my lesson
I’m in a  big hurry for my future to begin
and yet not willing to let my past end

Cares for my own well being, are sitting on the back burners
All I want is to do some living,  ignoring all worry and wonders
I’m not who they think I am, I’m sorry to let them down
this was never what I had planned and now I can’t be found

I am at ease when I am alone
Not  comfortable in anyone’s home
No one else around to hurt
as change and I continue to flirt

with tears on my face and a sprint in my step
I want to leave this place, some distance will help
Look for this person I have been missing so long
I hope I find her before everything goes wrong

I’m trying to change, I’m trying to live
I don’t need the rage,  I accept what I can give
I’m not done searching for me, my heart is still torn in two
I’m coasting on this chance to be, but I still don’t know what to do

I am at ease when I am alone
Not  comfortable in anyone’s home
No one else around to hurt
as change and I continue to flirt

Patty Griffin

It’s just the mood I’m in…  I hope you enjoy it.When I Don\’t Come Easy

The Lyrics

Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home tonight

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

I don’t know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home

You’re out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

So many things that I had before
That don’t matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I’ve lost
And the love I’ve never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what’s been said before
Some love we were looking for

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

Northen Flight

No more sitting bereft
no more reaching for all she sought
this birds got some fight left
And she knows what she is not

Her focus it turned inwards
away from all that wanted to claim
She took her flight to the woods
to add fire to her flame

She sought the sights she wished for
The Redwood trees, the sea so blue
A rapid river and so much more
The prettier it was, the higher she flew

She bathed in the hot spring in comfort and ease
Not worried of bigger birds, hunters or man
joyfully spreading her wings for all to see
She sat in splendid glory, with no worries on hand

Winds invaded the northern mountains
which rose this bird from her splendor
She danced in it for hours
Soaring about playfully, sparkling of wonder

The birds they came to play some too
They saw she had something
as she rolled with them as pigeons do
She sang  a tune of all her longing

She sang a song of joy in freedom
then thought of her young ones
wondered when she would see them
And suddenly things weren’t so fun

This bird saw what she needed to do
she had to prepare the nest
thoughts of change distorted her view
as she prepared herself for this quest

This bird is willing to land again
to settle back into its home
If freedom is what she seeks in the end
only time will let us know

Starting to master meat

Being newly liberated, I have been trying to master some skills that I didn’t obtain beforehand.  Maybe obtain isn’t the right word.  I never used certain skills and cooking is one of them.  I think I have made a couple batches of cookies and some small cakes over the years.  In highschool I made some bad pizza for my family and some Microwaved chicken for a boyfriend.  In Junior High I made chocolate pie with salt instead of sugar.  Other than these random cooking mishaps I have hardly any experience with this domestic duty.  But, now I am forced with the, figuring out and preparing of three solid meals a day.  It scares the shit out of me almost everyday.  When I first started this duty, I would actually go into a cold sweat at the idea of what to make that would be healthy and not potentially kill me or my family.  I must also admit that I have not mastered Meat!  And you can go where you want with that statement, but; tonight was the first time I attempted meat other than in the microwave.  I am 37 and tonight was the first time I have ever made bacon!   I figured it was relatively harmless and pretty hard to screw up.  I have seen it made 100’s of times and everyone just throws that stuff in a pan and lets it go, how hard could it be?  Here’s what I knew but I don’t know if it’s right.  I knew that the cast iron skillet was the best to use.  I knew that the bacon didn’t need any other fat introduced to cook it.  I knew that I wanted to try to cook it as flat as possible and that the pan had to be hot before I put the bacon in it.  I realize now that I should have had my heat at a more even temperature. Because the bacon cooked way to fast on one side.  But, all in all I was able to cook the Bacon without burning or under cooking it.  And there were no left overs when everyone was done eating.  I am proud of myself.  Now, I am thinking about chicken.  Non microwaved chicken……  I know I can, I know I can…..

Just another day in LoLa-Land

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan