Checking Her Out

What is it that makes a man stare at another woman when he is with HIS woman? Why is it that they have to seriously eyeball any kind of piece of ass  that walks across their path?  This is something that I have found disrespectful since I was a kid and I would watch my dad do it to random woman.  I would wonder what mom would feel like if she knew what a scammer her husband was when she was not around. Now I am a woman, who dates men and this disrespectful act, of scamming on woman in front of me is still something I come across and it is STILL something that bugs the crap out of me.

I understand that men are visual and that is how they get off.  Even though I understand it, it STILL pisses me off!  Don’t get me wrong I understand that we all notice other people.  We all acknowledge when we see someone who is really beautiful, I am not talking about that.  I am talking about the, “almost get in a car accident because there is some large breasted, long black curly hair sporting, short skirt wearing, 18 years or up woman on the side of the street” kind of guy.  It feels so disrespectful to me when they literally have to stop walking to take a better look.  I also love (she says sarcastically) when they lose their train of thought!  Really?  What were you saying?  Did you even remember the story you were just telling?   I want to say, “come on she wasn’t that hot!”

The funny thing is, I have watched porn with lovers and it doesnt bother me when they look at porn.  I understand that we all  need to fantasize about other people.  I think it is the act of openly acknowledging the beauty of another real Life woman in a seductive manner is what it is.  These woman are not in magazines or videos, they are attainable.  They are right there in front of you and your man.  Them flirting with the woman could actually lead to something, if she were to notice and respond.  Maybe it’s because it can feel almost threatening to a relationship?  I don’t know?  I just know it is rude and makes me fume.

Not all men are a womanizer like this  (ok maybe that was a bit low but I’m getting all worked up now so I’m going with it).   I have actually been with men (not all at once) that  saw me.  They made me feel like I was the only one in the room.   It was sexy as hell and made me all that more interested in them.  Maybe I’m insecure, (though I doubt it),  maybe I’m missing something, maybe not?  All I really know is it pisses me off and it even bugs me when I see a man check me out when he is with a woman.  I end up  feeling bad for their lady.   It someone were to argue with me that this is how men operate,  that this is what men do.  It’s an “innate quality” blah, blah, blah, I would probably ask them about the men that don’t gawk at other woman while they are entering another woman?  What about the men who see no one but you (Which Hello, is super HOT!).  What about them?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. j
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 11:39:15

    Hey sweetie, I hear you. This used to bother me a lot. When I was with assholes that didn’t respect my feelings. I was with guys who didn’t just notice, but gawked like a dog chasing a ball. The brains left and the tongue came out. It turns out, those guys were just not that into me. That was years ago.

    They all look, I look to. Infact these days I look with them and sometimes even point them out so they won’t miss. I am not threatened. I feel very secure in my relationship. He not only loves me, but he adores me, which is pretty special when you find it. I adore him too. He is respectful about though. Like you said, noticing and gawking are two different things. Most women don’t respond to the gawking anyway. I believe it is more than rude, but a blatant flag of immaturity and disrespect. Some men are so insecure that they behave this way to get you jealous because that somehow turns them on to have women fight over and for them.
    It’s kinda fun to turn that around on them. “I see you looking at that hot ass, show me what you would do with it if I were that girl!” That sort of game can lead to some hot sex, and actually bring you closer. It might even divulge some unspoken clues about what is happening for him if it can be discussed in a nonthreatening situation. Try not to get triggered into insecurity and anger, and explore it if you can.

    If you can’t do that, what might be kind of fun is to have a friend he doesn’t know play the role of the person you gawk at in public who actually comes up to you and starts talking to you while you are sitting with your partner. Maybe your partner will feel insecure and threatened too. Thank the friend acting, dismiss him and then discuss with your partner, gently and sincerely that it really doesn’t feel so good to be put into such scenarios. There’s my two cents.


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan