Stage Hand

This gig has a rotating cast of players
I alone manage the stage
The play has many layers
The actors are all of a different age

It’s a comedy at times
Laughter bringing down the house
It’s a tragedy Like a bad wine
The audience so quiet you can hear a mouse

The actors have their own drama to act out
Everything is about them
It’s all about what they want or they start to pout
The rest of us have to just give in

I watch from the back not knowing what to say
I watch them in their costumed imagination
I am the keeper of the props for this play
A position with no star-studded motivation

I keep things moving for the show
My timing must be perfect
Ask the actors who I am, no on knows
To them I’m the village idiot

They can forget about me if they want
Pretend I don’t exist
I’ll keep opening the curtains on the dot
And closing all the exits

The snow will always fall
The fake rain will always clatter
The actors will always appear tall
Because you won’t see my ladder

I have worked with everybody
I doubt any of them remember my name
I knew them all before they were somebody
I’ll keep my anonymity without any shame

This play will run its course
The actors will all move away
The signs will come down with force
The shows over but I alone will stay

Green To Yellow & Back To Red Again

As the light went from green to yellow and back to red again.
I wondered when my life would begin

Why all the noise, why all the honking
Some people are so angry they should be walking

What happened to just being polite
Why all the flashing of those annoying headlights

Everyone here knows some sort of sign language
I’ve been flipped off so much, it’s outlandish.

I’m shocked and dismayed by the yelling and screaming
The man in my rear view mirror is steaming

Why are so many people so bitter
I just wanted to sit and think for a little

The Neanderthal Man

He’s a Neanderthal man it’s quite obvious to all
When standing by others he makes them seen small

With his big rough hands able to move anything
His big strong arms able to lift everything

He stares at you in silence intimidating and powerful
He doesn’t need to speak to make you feel bashful

He is a man of few words but what he says is important
His audience he selects by their wit and their intellect

He always knows just what to do when it all hits the fan
He’s always has a solution for you or a really good plan

He will take you when he wants you and leave no inch of you unscathed
His passion for you will consume you and you’ll pray it never fades

He will pull you by your hair, he grunts and groans
But you’ll like it so much you’ll hear yourself moan

He’s a Neanderthal man at the very best
He can even survive without beating his chest

Contradiction

I don’t believe you when you say I’m beautiful because your eyes are always closed when you do

I don’t believe you when you say I’m sexy because your always looking somewhere else when you say it

I don’t believe you when you say my body is amazing because you Don’t even touch me as you say it.

I don’t believe you when you say you love me because you’ll be looking at someone else when you do.

I don’t believe that I’m all you need when you haven’t stopped flirting with all the other woman you see

I don’t believe you are sincere when your words and your actions are just contradictions

Feeling Lost

I have been feeling a bit lost lately. I have everything I desired just two short years ago. I have a home I love. I have a job I love. I have a family I love. I have a sexy man who I love and who loves me. Hell, I even have a car that I love. I’m healthy! My family is healthy! Even my dog is healthy! Yet, instead of being joyful in all my love and all the love I feel, I am feeling discouraged and scared.
I feel like I am going backwards instead of forwards. I feel like I could be paying better attention to my exercising. I should be watching what I consume more closely. I should be cleaning up more and paying closer attention at work. I feel like I am sliding back into some of my old familiar habits and I don’t want too.
Am I doing these things or feeling this way because I am unclear about what to focus on now? now that I have accomplished all I set out to do? Am I scared because I am exactly where I wanted to be and I still feel as though something is not right in my life? Am I one of those people who can never feel for-filled or satisfied?
How do I go about keeping the wonderful life that I have made for myself and being happy with it and with myself?
I did this entire change to my life so I wouldn’t feel dead inside anymore. Now I am scared that, that feeling is where I am headed once again. I fear my joy and my shine are dwindling because of this feeling and I need to find a way to stop it from happening. But how?
Just another day in Lola-Land

My shine

I’ve got to get my shine again
You know that sparkle that brings people in
I lost it somewhere around the bend
It’s somewhere at a bus stop waiting for its bus to come in

I tried to find it around the house
I looked under every nook and cranny
I looked in drawers and in my blouse
All I saw there were my boobs just sagging

I ran around the neighborhood
I searched through the bushes and looked up trees
My neighbors now all think I’m rude
Escorting me out of their backyards with clinched teeth

It wasn’t with my mail, my purse or my keys
It wasn’t with the dog, his bone or his fleas

I thought I saw a little glimpse while losing my mind
It was a tiny spark of light
I saw it searching my dresser for that tricky little shine
When my reflection came into sight

I knew right then that glimmer was near
It had been trapped deep inside
What I saw in that moment made everything clear
My sparkle had decided to hide

I know I won’t find it at the store or at the show
I know sexy heals will not make it spark
I have to look within and search for the shine I know
I just need to bring it out of the dark

But how?

She Can’t Handle It

She takes another drag of her cigarette
Knowing she’ll be adding it to her regrets

What is it they are asking of her she can’t tell
All their debating makes her want to yell

She sits outside as she watches them from with in
Like fish in a glass bowl with no start and no end

Wondering why this mornings coffee was so cold
Did they take to long to serve it or was it simply old

Looking at them all, pacing back and fourth
Discussing if she stays or should she go back to court

When did they become ambassadors of her will
When will her life feel more to her than just surreal

It’s more than she can handle they say
It’s harder than taking a pill each day

Their done debating now and silent
Their eyes tell her to please “be quiet”

Her future they have now decided
To her alone they still must confide in

They know she will remain where she sits
They hate leaving her but she can’t handle it

Why did you go?

Did you think about me when you left
Did you feel any kind of regret

I watched you pull away that night
I watched you until you were out of sight

Did you see my tears roll down my cheeks
Did you feel my pain in all my pleads

I would have done almost anything for you
I would have made your dreams come true

I didn’t realize I’d never see you again
It never occurred to me that it was the end

That was the last time I would feel your arms wrapped around me
That was the final kiss causing my knees to be weak

There would never be another long moonlit walk
There would be no more stories or our talking the talk

Your laughter will not be heard again
Your horse will never come in

If you had only stayed with me that night
Everything in my life might still feel right

Why did you go my love, I need to know
I will always love you, I will never let go.

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan