Today’s act for the Single LoLa cause, I went to a local tarot card reader named Magik. We had a very interesting conversation about my inner soul.   She works in some astrology into what she finds, the whole process is very interesting.  You can be a believer or not it’s all up for interpretation.  I like how she pulls my astrological charts and number against the ones I love and the tarot cards to help guide her in her advice.

There was a lot that came out of this reading and I am going to keep most of it to myself.  However, she did tell me that my previous VOW to being single LoLa was a good  purpose but a bad way to go about it.  She said love is organic and if you try to stop it, it will only eat at you and become something bad.  That I should not stipulate so much about what i am not going to do.  But rather what I am going to do.

I pulled one card, don’t ask me which one, it had lots of swords and had several different reds colors as the backdrop.  She looks at me and says, “Your angry.”

“no” I say, “I’m doing ok. I mean yeah he cheated and he lied and he broke my heart but it was nothing like I went through with the Drunk.   I feel bad for him. I want him to get help.  I just hope he is ok,”

“He, he, he!  Really?  What about you?  When are you going to let yourself see they hurt you!  You need to deal with it.  You are obviously mad at both of them and should be.  But you need to let it out and let it go.” Was her reply.

Wow, am I angry?  I mean YES!  I am angry!  I am pissed Off! How do you get it out?  It helps to call them on their shit. I know Big Red was shocked by my anger.   I don’t go quietly into that good night.  I will always fight back.  Unless I am wrong, if I am wrong I will apologize.

I will say this to Big Red because I know he will read this and that is,

“I am sorry for agreeing to your terms that first weekend.  I was not prepared to be in a relationship.  I know I told you as much but I did not fight hard enough for myself.  I have fought so hard to be where I am and see what life was like alone.  And you swooped in before I could even start trying.  I appreciate the things you did for me.  I know that even though I think you are a Dawg right now, that deep down you have a good heart; you just get lost somewhere.  I will always be thankful for that one night.  It was magical and I will always love you for giving me that.”


Just another day in Single LoLa- Land


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan