7 years for….

I am sure you have all heard of the seven year inch, and the seventh ending stretch, but have you ever heard that your taste buds change within seven years too. (What’s the deal with the 7’s?) I wonder if the change in our taste buds have anything to do with the change in our appetite for our lovers?

Think about it? So much of what gets us going are our senses, our sense of smell and taste being two huge ones. ( especially powerful at evoking memories at the spur of the moment too). We can all agree here that nose and throat are connected, right? So with that said, lets say, We like the smell of a grilled steak, we can imagine what it’s going to taste like in our mouths. When we bite into the steak and it hits those memory points for us we become satisfied. What if the smell of that steak started to smell bad to you? What if the taste just didn’t cut it for you anymore? Would you want to keep eating it or try chicken?
By this same token you can say you love the smell of your partner. That you love the taste of them too. But if your taste buds start to change and like that steak, the smell of your mate is not pleasing to you anymore, what do you do? Could this be a plausible argument?
I was just wondering?

Full Figured Surprise

Yesterday I got the strangest phone call. It went some thing like this,
My cell rings it’s theme song for the titanic and I look at the screen, to see, just the word, “napa”. I think to myself, “that’s weird”. Curious, I pick up the phone, “Hello”.
“Hi” a man replies “I was calling to confirm your reservations for tonight.”
Without thinking I reply, “ok”. Because I have tickets to a comedy show in the city. But then it occurs to me that I don’t have reservations, I have my tickets. Just as this realization clicks in my head the strange man starts talking again.
“Yes Miss, I wanted to confirm a time with you?” He asked me.
“Yes what reservations are we speaking of here?” I ask interested. and wondering if I forgot more plans I had made. ( Because sometimes I forget things.
He quickly replies, “yes we have you down as reserving the two full figured woman for tonight’s bachelor party.”
I myself being a full figured woman could not imagine what I would possibly do with two more of me. My date would probably not complain but I am sure it would be more than he could handle.
I chuckle because the visual of him with three busty woman all night made this so comical. “Yeah, I didn’t reserve two full figure woman for tonight.” I reply
“Well miss we have your name, address, and phone number right here.” He quickly responds.
“So what’s my name and address?” I ask
“Miss you don’t need to be embarrassed or shy, we are here to help you in this situation.” He quickly starts a speech.
I interrupt him because as funny as this all is too me, I am already late for my date.
“What is my name and address!”
He stops talking, and them replies with, “what time would you like them to show up?”
This is when I hung up. Only to find my date perched on the edge of my couch like a little school boy, about to see his first magic show, “are two more full figured woman coming over?” ( I swear if he had a tail it would have been swinging back and forth!) It was at this point we both start to crack up. “What the hell?” I wondered.

Of course it was some sort of crank call. But it was funny as shit. So who ever was trying to spoof me only succeeded in making me laugh.
Thank you.
Of course just another day in LoLa-Land

First Date

I had myself a first date last night. But, it was a first date with someone I had never met and had never seen before. I was really very nervous I have only had that kind of experience maybe once before. Most of my dates have been with people that I’ve known for years. Or i have at least gotten to know them in certain occasions and so they weren’t strangers to me. This man was pretty much a stranger.
I had no idea what to expect what if he was some sort of serial killer? (I think I watch way too much CSI). But because of this reason I decided to meet him at the bar instead of having him come pick me up. I was so nervous, what would he be like? What if he didn’t like me? What if he didn’t think I was pretty at all? I wondered if he Didn’t like what he saw would he just leave? Would he walk right out? would I even know he had been there? I Won’t even get into the whole what do I wear issue.
As it is i got there before he did and I waited, I was wondering the whole time these thoughts and if he was even going to show up. Then, he was there, and he was cute, and the first words out of his mouth were “wow! you’re beautiful”.
To which I replied, “Well then I forgive you for being late”.
I had a really great time. It was really nice spending time with someone I didn’t know and getting to know him better. We ended up talking for hours. I know I will see him again and I look forward to it.
No, for those of you who read my blog religiously and know about my vow to be single, I’m not breaking my vows. He asked me out and I said yes. I’m not going to run back into Someone else’s arms and stay there again. But, I do want to experience some fun and that’s what I’m doing. I am trying to be open to try new things and i made a new friend last night because of it.
Wish me luck, its just another day in single LoLa-Land

Beautiful Stranger

You appeared to me out of no where
You caught my eye because of your stare

Your silver hair and perfectly fit body
I couldn’t help but think something naughty

You watched me walk from the door to my seat
I wondered if we could find a reason to meet

I smiled at you and you smiled back at me
I was happy you seemed to like what you see

Your face was beautiful, your demeanor sweet
Eye candy like you is a special treat

Sitting across the room from me you listened to me talk
Your eyes followed my moves when ever I walked

I was just as interested in you. as you were in me
I had to go so soon, before we were able to meet

I wonder if I will ever see you again
I wonder if my want to meet you will end

I think about going back just to see if your there
I would walk straight to you and sit in the next chair

I would make sure to start up a conversation with you
I would maybe start by asking you what it is you do

I would not walk away until I had at least heard your name
It is my hope that you would in turn would do the same

Delete

I deleted most of your pictures
I erased all your messages
I forgot most of your lectures
About all your constant issues

I cleaned out your drawer
Made sure to grab every little thing
I threw them all on the floor
Then bagged them up with a draw string

I made sure to delete all your texts
I never read them anyway
I know what for me works best
It’s not to believe what you say

I washed your smell off my skin
I scrubbed away my regrets
You were so ugly in the end
I am now ready for what comes next

It’s as If you were never even here
No whisper of you, no signs, no pain
Not sure why I held you so dear
Now I hope i just forget your name

Hard Hats to Heals

My ex boyfriend gave me a hardhat because I am such a klutz.  I swear I run into wall, poles, people.  I fall down steps, stairs, curbs.  I am a mess.  I was always thankful he was a big guy because I could usually use him to stable myself if I needed too; or he would just catch me.  He said the hard hat was to keep me safe when he wasn’t around.  It was very sweet gesture and comical too.

You can imagine how crazy it is that I am now wearing heals.  Me in flats and tennis shoes is already a scary thing.  Me taller… or on stilts, well now that is just down right insane.  I love it though!  I love being even taller.  I love the way my butt looks when I wear heals.  For some reason my legs seem to have an entirely new shape.  I feel sexy all day long, even with cotton panties on.  I am trying to wear more heals more often so I can get used to walking in them.

As much as I appreciate the hardhat gift it made me look like a complete dork.  Dorky is not a look I am going for right now.  I guess part of my new discovery of my self is the need to let a little lioness out of it’s cage and wearing heals seems to be a little step in that direction.

Wish me luck!

Who are you?

With your magic words
Mysterious man
I have no clue who you are

I try to peak into you world
A visionary plan
How long will you be afar

we are so much alike
No struggle to see
The desire to meet invades me

No future for us in sight
Which’s Fine by me
The goal is still to remain free

Thoughts of you torture
Aspects still denied
When will this journey begin

This is a roller coaster
A perfect kind of ride
I can’t wait to meet my friend

New York, New York!

It’s time again!  I have not seen my NY family since May of 2011.  Last time I was there I was separated from my husband and trying to figure out what to do with my life.  Now I know ALL to well what I want to do with my life!  In fact I am living it!  I am Free!  I am free to do whatever I want.  I am free to say, watch, read, blog, flirt and love what ever I want.  I wonder if things will be different for me this time around?  I know I am not going to be melancholy and weepy over some dumb asshole, like I was then.  I am not going to be wondering if life with my separated husband was worth going back too?  I am not going to be wishing I was thinner.  It’s not about what I am NOT going to be doing and everything to do with what I WILL be doing.

This time I am going to be confident and assured in myself and my surroundings.  Nothing is going to surprise me and I am going to be down for everything.  This time I can sit in reflection and meditate about the soul under a giant oak in Central Park for hours.  The conflicts of a man and how my vacation will affect him won’t  even be an after thought for me.   The far bigger issue will be, what “happening” club, and with what sexy gay man, will I be hanging out with that night.  And this alone will be my only trials for this vacation.

I Love New York,  can you tell?  I love the people who I’ve met and the places I have seen in New York.  Strangers one minute and long time Facebook friends who actually respond to you the next.  I have lived on the west coast all my life and I love it dearly.  But, New York calls to me.  The pulse of it makes me want to stay.   I am sure you will have pictures and NY blog posts coming your way soon.

I just really hope I see the Cherry Blossoms on the trees.

 

Woman don’t respond to whistles

Today while at work, three of my female coworkers and I were hurriedly trying to get packages out the door. As this was going on my boss was standing in the doorway taking pictures of us. We just ignored him and went on with our work. At some point he started whistling at us, and of course because we’re all women, we ignored him. After listening to him whistle for about two minutes I finally decided it was time to let him in on the secret. Without turning to him or pausing my work I said, “boss, women don’t respond to Whistling”. At that point my coworkers all started to laugh and I heard the echoing of the “uh-huh” Fly into the air. With that my boss glumly walked away mumbling something about, “I just wanted to take a picture”.
Here’s the thing, I have been listening to men whistle at me since I was the ripe old age of 13. As soon as my breast started to from and my hips curved in, men of all ages started to notice me. My fathers friends whistled at me, my brother’s friends whistled at me, hell I think every single kind of tradesman has whistled at me. (Except plumbers , never has a Plumber once whistled)! Once I even had a butch lesbian on a Harley whistle at me. When you’re 13 and you have old men (and at this point in my life, old was anyone from 25 to 80) whistling at you it’s just feels gross. I would want to go over and slap them. I of course assumed they knew I was only 13. From that moment on whistles became a normal sound, unless I’m shrouded in baggy clothes. I feel like I’ve been whistled at my whole life.

Really, whistling doesn’t do anything for women. I’m actually the opposite of a dog and I can’t hear high-pitched noises because of the whistles. I’ve completely learned how to tune them out. Lord help me if anybody ever tries to warn me of some sort of certain death by whistling at me, I would not hear them. If I did hear them, I wouldn’t respond.
Now I know that this is actually a positive thing, supposedly. I know that people whistle to get the attention of someone they find the appealing to the eye. I know that I should be flattered that men or women find me attractive enough to whistle at me. I should be thankful right? Usually when men whistle at woman, the woman don’t feel attractive, they feel Disrespected.

Here’s an idea and I’m just throwing it out at all of you. If you Find someone attractive and you want to get their attention don’t whistle at them. Walk over and tell them they’re “beautiful”. You never know you might actually be able to strike up a conversation with someone you never thought you’d have a chance with. Maybe you will just make her feel good, give her a little spring to her step, theres nothing wrong with that right? Just possibly, you might actually feel a little better about yourself, because you gave someone a compliment for no reason. (Wink, wink)
Think about it.

Single Learning

I am reading a book right now called “Radical Forgiveness” by Colin Tipping. Which is really speaking to me. It goes along very well with the book I just finished called, “Many Masters, Many Lives” by Dr. Brain Weiss. Both handle different subjects of healing, but; sort of skim around the same premise. The idea that essentially the way we handle our lives and our relationships is determined by the lessons we need to learn and the experiences we have had. Our fears and problems are potentially caused not by some new aspect or episode in our lives at this moment, but; possibly in our childhood and or in past lives.

In “Radical Forgiveness” Tipping refers to our relationships in this life being effected by past experiences in our childhood. Like someone being pushed to their limits and not feeling in control of their own lives; All because of abuse sustained as a child. He says, that they will possibly continue to fall into similar relationships so they can prolong these feelings and patterns that they have had all their lives. For example, the person abused as in a child could find themselves in another abusive relationship or feel abused by their boss. Tipping argues that we need to see these people, that we bring into our world, and the roles they play in them, as answers to our lessons, not theirs. We attract these relationships because of needs they fulfill in us.

We fall into old patterns and our actions can cause history to essentially, repeat itself (in respect to our feelings). What we must except when we start to see patterns in our lives, that they are a lesson for us to reflect on. It is a train of thought we have, that takes us to the same place each time. I think of mine as the train of abuse. My thoughts will just spiral down some slippery slope to a “Woes me!” mess of a woman. When I am lucky, I realize my silliness before I slide into a depression of Ben and Jerry’s and romantic comedies. Ultimately, I think Tipping is saying, we should be thankful for all relationships no matter how hard they are. Each relationship should be acknowledged with love. Because as painful as they may be they serve a purpose for us. We need not be angry at the other person as much as ourselves. Because, it is our pattern we keep manifesting.

Dr Weiss, takes the idea of forgiveness and past experiences effecting our current situations to a whole new realm, He argues that how we lived and how we died in a previous life can bring about phobias and fears in this life or future lives. That relationships we had with souls in past lives can replay themselves in different ways in other lives. Whether it be that in one life your father leaves and you feel abandoned and in another life that same soul can be your lover and leave you for someone else; again causing you to feel abandoned.

He discusses the idea that if we can, we should learn to forgive people for things they may have done to us, or are doing to us. Because we may have had the same dance played out in another life already. And if you don’t figure out what it is you need to learn from one another and If you don’t learn to forgive, you will continue to have the same issues in each life, until it is resolved.

Unless we have a crystal ball or we have toned our psychic abilities it seems to me that some of us may never truly understand the reason we fall into the patterns we fall into. The path needs to be realizing the true reality you are in now. I see where it all comes down to forgiveness. Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others. I don’t want to keep repeating my same old patterns. I don’t want to keep having the same bad experiences over and over again. I just need to find away to know when I am starting to slide into my old patterns again.

 

 

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan