Never a Dull Moment

Yesterday I was enjoying a pleasant Sunday afternoon with my man when suddenly my Dog who never barks starts barking really loud.
I looked at my man who was laying next to me and said, ” was that River”?
When suddenly I hear all this pounding on the side of my house. All I can think is “what the hell is going on around here”. I get my tank top and shorts on and rush downstairs.
At my front door stood a armed man in a green jumpsuit that said SHERIFF K9 Unit. My first thought was “shit! Is my roommate smoking the weed again?” My second thought was “Damn! Why didn’t I put a bra on!”
“Can I help you?” I ask the cop
“Yes ma’am” he replies rather urgently, ” I need to get in your back yard because the man I am in pursuit of just jumped over your fence and went into your storage unit. Do I have your permission to search your yard?”
“Um sure” I reply as I unlock my screen door.
“Ma’am You have to control your dog. Because mine is with me!”
I look down at my obviously petrified dog who is shivering behind me. So, I put River in the garage as both the sheriff and his dog walk towards back door and out of it.
This is the point when you are watching a horror movie you start yelling at the stupid chick to get the hell out of the house because of the serial killer who is hiding in her storage unit and of course, like I did, she follows the cop into the back yard. I couldn’t help myself. I was both scared to death and so turned on at the same time. There was a hot guy yielding a gun, about to turn the corner to his possible death standing in my backyard! Part of me was thinking, “OH he has a gun I better run!” The other part of me was thinking, “oh he has a gun… Ummm that’s hot!”
As I am off in horny visions land, our cities finest has now determined with much sexy, stealthiness and caution that there is in fact, no intruder hiding in my yard. He turns back to me, looks at my meager backyard supplies and suddenly his eyes widen when he sees my green plastic lawn chair.
“Ma’am may I barrow your chair” He asks me.
What could I say, “well, actually it’s not my chair, it’s my moms chair and I basically just stole it from her because I’m to cheap to go to Wallmart and buy my own damn chair”… I didn’t think that was me being a very good citizen to my community. So in stead I said, “sure take what ever you need”.
With that he swoops up my chair and both he and his dog run away. I never saw this good looking cop again and I wondered if I’d ever see my moms chair again. But, thankfully it reappeared, three hours later about five doors down. Which is good news because how do you report a theft by a sheriffs officer of a already stolen item? I am Not sure what to make of all of this situation or how it all turned out. But one thing I do know for sure, I still wish I had put my bra on.
Just another day in LoLa-Land


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan