Porn For Today

My man and I were just discussing porn ( videos to be specific). We like to talk about porn because it’s such an off limits (by societies standards) yet interesting subject. Management (aka- my man), found some porn he had from high school. I believe it was produced in the 80’s. It was so different from the porn you see today.

It was sensual and almost sincere. It was focused on touching and playing. Hell, it almost verged on the side of romantic. It used soft focus-lens and the woman’s bodies seemed real. The boobs were not huge but their pubes were. It was kind of anticlimactic to watch and yet a lot more comfortable than what you see these days.

These days,I feel like I’m watching a rape taking place. As the men are telling the woman, “suck it bitch! Yeah eat that fat cock up” as he’s jamming her head down his shaft. Or you have two woman just going to town with each other and one is fisting the other one. I have a hard time just relaxing while watching these videos and getting horny is even harder. It all seems so disrespectful, I get so uncomfortable for the woman. Yes, I know they signed up for the abuse and got paid well. But, treating woman so cheaply pisses me off more than anything else, and I want to smack men who talk to any woman like that. When watching porn these days, Instead of imagining some sexy night with Management, I am imagining some scene similar to the end of 9 to 5, and I have some rude porn star hog tied to a post and I’m whipping him with his own belt.
Maybe I need to invest in a VHS player and go garage sale shopping for some good old porn.


First Birthday

Sunshine filled this special day
Watching the children laugh and play

Hold her small hand up high
Help her little feet take flight

Watch her as she watches the bees
Keep her safe and keep her happy

Sunshine kissing her golden head
Yellow locks refusing a nap in bed

Overwhelmed she clings to her mom
Wondering where these strangers belong

All the eyes are looking at her
It’s hard not to look at something so pure

She waits to eat her first piece of cake
Not knowing of its goodness she’s about to partake

Confused by her importance or why all are there
Intrigued by the candle that beckons for her air

Singing erupts and she’s startled again
Exhausted she wonders when this day will end

Bright color presents await to be opened
Caring only for the bag that held all the toys in

Playing curiously with the bright slick ribbon
No concern for the present that still remains hidden

No one can believe how fast this year passed
Everyone concurs that they grow up so fast

What do I need

I took some rare time for myself tonight and found an interesting phenomenon. I was very unsettled all night. I was longing for something but for the life of me, could not figure out what it was. I proceeded to try and fill the void in me with anything I could think of.
I tried writing a poem, but that didn’t fly. I tried watching mindless tv and found no interest in it. I tried phoning a friend, but that only made me want to get off the phone. I sat motionless trying to meditate myself into a content state of being and still I emerged longing for something more. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was not even that interested in my old favorite, sudoku.
I just sat in silence and tried to focus on what I was really craving, when it finally came to me; I want to listen to music. I want to crank my stereo up really loud and sing some heartbreaking love song at the top of my lungs. I want to perform for my audience of living room furniture while possibly using my remote control as a pho microphone. I want to sing so loudly that when I am done I am horse in the throat.
Of course it is now damn near eleven pm on a Tuesday night so the concert of my choosing will have to wait until tomorrow. I just need to figure out how to eek out some time for it.
Wish me luck

Just another day in LoLa-Land


Now we find out what your made of
Now we will see how you handle pain
We will threaten the ones you love
Causing a major kink in their

It is now time to place you to the test
To see how much you can take
How long will you maintain if pressed
What will come of the ones you helped make

Exposing you to fear has never worked before
You always seem to come out kicking
But throw a loved one on the floor
And your heart sure takes a licking

We want to watch your squirm a bit
As they take your turn on the whipping post
Watch them wail about and throw a fit
As your anger for them begins to roast.

Do you have it in you to survive
Do you have the strength to carry on
This is what it takes to stay alive
Finding answers when there are none

We will be providing no manual
The pain will not just be going away
If you think you have had all you can handle
Then I suggest you look the other way

Let go of all that you hold so dear
Be prepared to kiss them good bye
To you the pain is never to much to bare
But when it’s theirs you want to die

Born In A Riptide


I was born in a riptide
Tossed about with the seaweed and fish
Coral scraping my baby feet
As I tried to dive out of the waters grip

The family of dolphins could not contain me
The jungle beneath tried to tie me down
The currents pulled me away from the earth
Knowing all I wanted was solid ground

I was born in a riptide
To two young souls divided
My innocence was more than they could bare
With my existence all collided

Tormented by the waiting shore
Swimming as fast as I could
My future laid out ahead of me
Fighting the tides as anyone would

I was born in the riptide
Sun shinning on my young toe head
Knowing there was no choice but swim
Or soon I would be dead

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan