lesbian Bunko

Last nights Bunko brought to the group a new player. I have never met this woman before, she was a neighbor of the woman who was hosting. I have to say she fit right in with us and our drunken deb-ochery. But, there was this one point when she started to trip me out a bit.
She turned to me and asked me, “are you a lesbian?”
“Umm no” I answered confused
“I love lesbians” she replied, “I wish I was a lesbian”.
“Aren’t you married?” I asked her.
“Yeah, but I still wish I was a lesbian” she answered.
“Do you want to eat pussy” I asked her really interested in where she was going with this.
“No, Not really” she responded
“Do you wish you could make out with woman” I asked trying to get to the bottom of what she was saying.
“No. I did plenty of that in college” she answered as she got a far off look in her face. “No, I just think it would be cool to be a lesbian”.

I looked at her for a few minutes wondering why I was having a hard time following her. I knew I was drunk but I felt like cognitively I was still aware of the conversation and it just was not adding up to me.

“Umm, ok, look” I said, ” something is just not adding up you say you want to be a lesbian but your not really attracted to woman?”
She nods her head yes and says to me
“I just want to have that close friend that I can talk to, like woman do, and be able to sleep with them too”.

That is when it all clicked with me and I finally understood what she was saying in her drunken state.
“Oh I get it now” I say almost excitingly, “you don’t really want to be a lesbian. You are just lonely in your marriage and need some close bonding with someone you can communicate with both mentally and physically and you think you need a woman for that because you haven’t found it in your man?”

She just stared at me
“Wow LoLa, that was spot on. I thought you were drunk?” She asked me.
“Oh I am, but I still got it!” I answered and we laughed.
When I think back on the conversation now I feel sad for her. I feel like she is just desperately looking for that missing piece to her marriage and she’s not looking for it within her marriage. I wish her well I hope she finds what she is missing in her husband.

Just another day in LoLa-Land


Flea Market Fashon

I love flea markets. I go to them when ever I can. I seem to catch a lot of flea markets when I’m on vacation. Which is like torture because I love to look at furniture and I can’t drag a huge desk on the plane as a carry on so I end up usually just window shopping.
I have been to flea markets in Hawaii, San Jose, SF, Bronx, Alabama and now LA. I have got to say the Melrose flea market is unlike any other I have ever been too. At the melrose flea market, it is almost like a Fashon runway. Everywhere you turn there are beautiful woman wearing WHAT EVER THE HELL THEY WANT TO! It is a no holds bar with regards to dress attire here on Melrose. I have seen flouncy dresses, and lace see through dresses, cut offs with glitter shirts and crazy print pants. I could sit here all day and just admire all of the crazy, cool and beautiful sights.

Normally when I go to flea markets it much like going to the local Wallmart. There are things being worn that should not have been worn in the 80’s. You see far to much of some woman and others you wonder if they have seen themselves recently. You usually see jeans or cutoff and regular t-shirts. So to see woman walking around in dresses that looked like they cost $300 and high heals was a trip.
Even the items for sale at the flea market were more than you would normally pay. Like a used Sunglass case for $15. Where I live something like that would be about $2.00.
Funny how just having a lot of money near by changes the costs of things. I much prefer my cheap goodwill stores that have half off Tuesdays on items priced at $5.00.
It has been yet another interesting day in LoLa-Land.

Single….. Again

Single again.  Single and unsure about how I feel.  I am hurt.  I am not really interested in moving on right now.  I feel like I need to just sit for a moment that is exactly what I said to the man that asked me out today.  “I’m on the fence and quite content there. I am just hovering in limbo and I like it here.  I need to heal my heart.  But, thank you” I said.  I am sure he was wondering why I thought he needed to hear all of that.  But he seemed to understand and walked away gracefully.  It made me feel good, though.  It is nice to know I am still desirable to the opposite sex.  

I was losing myself again but not in a bad way.  I felt myself becoming more and more an us than a me.  I missed him (miss him still) when he was away and I slept so, very much better when he was with me.  I was living as a couple and compromising on what shows to watch, what food to eat, when to eat, when to sleep. Etc  I am not trying to complain I was happy to do so.  He opened my eyes to many new shows and types of food and music; I am eternally grateful for all of it.  I was comfortable again.  Sometimes that comfort scared me because I didn’t want things to get boring. I was caught off guard by the end of our relationship.  To me it came out of left field and it was a line drive through the center of my chest.  

So, I am single again and I am no longer an us, again.  It is just me.  Just lil ol me, and as much as I miss him it is nice to just be able to be ME again.  I don’t eat if I don’t want to or I eat at 10.  I watch mindless woman’s television that drove him nuts and I listen to my music really loud, because it would always hurt his ears, so I couldn’t when he was around. I am free to flirt again.  I am free to say yes if I want.  If I want…..

I think I want to go back to the idea of dating me for awhile.  See how that plays out.  What if I hate myself?  NAWWWWWWW!!! I am too much fun!

Happy Father’s Day

A few years ago I posted a poem called Stuck In Time Stuck in Time | Funny Girl LoLa
https://funnygirllola.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/stuck-in-time/ it’s a poem about my brother and what it is like for him to be missing part of his brain. The doctors and all the specialists said he would not live long in his condition. They said his body would shut down before what’s left of his brain. But it has been about 21 years and he is very much alive.
It has not been an easy road for him. He has outbursts because he doesn’t have the part of your brain that tells you not to say something when it is inappropriate. Sometimes we have to apologize for what he says to people. He has a hard time with basic bodily functions and can not remember anything he saw or heard 5 minutes prior.
He remembers our youth. He remembers what happened years before his car accident but if you tell him it’s Fathers Day, he will ask you 20 mins later what day it is.
He and his wife had just given birth two their second child when their world turned upside down. The kids were 1.5 and like 4 months at the time. He has literally been alive but has missed them growing up.
Last night his daughter got married and my brother was there. He looked great and had nothing but the biggest smile on his face the entire time. I sat and watched him in the church as he was counting something on the roof and then he would hear the preacher say his daughters name and he would come back to reality, beaming with fatherly joy.
We never thought he would be here long enough to see his kids graduate or get married. It was so wonderful being able to see him be apart of that moment with his daughter. He may not remember it, but his daughter will. She will always be able to say her dad was with her when she got married. That makes all the struggles through the years, seem worth it.
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there I hope you experience a magical moment with your children today.

On a personal note, I got to cut a rug with both my dads last night which was so much fun. But even better was having them both in the same room with me.



Grocery shopping

I walked to the neighboring store this weekend with my cloth bags prepared with my weekly shopping list and credit card. After gathering all my needed odds and ends I surveyed the meager contents in my basket and decided I was under the 20 item maximum rule for the express lines and got behind the woman in the wheel chair waiting for the next available express lane opening.

Quickly a line of three people formed behind me wanting to express the hell out of there. Suddenly this older woman, maybe in her early 70’s, comes out of no where with her basket and rolls in front all of us, including the handicapped lady and stops to a halt in front of us all. I am sure all of us in line wondered what she thought she was doing, when finally the woman in the wheelchair said, “excuse me but I’m next”, Just as a lane opened up and the old Betty was heading for it. Betty (as I’m going to refer to her from now on) argued, “well I don’t think there is just one line?”
“There is one line and I am next” calmly states the patient lady as she rolls up to the check out stand. Betty was about to protest when she looked up and realized all of us in line were staring at her. At that moment Betty ceased her argument she was about to have and walked back past us all to go to the back of the line.

As she walked past me (mind you I am now next in line) and then past the man behind me, she actually backed up and rolled her cart back to me. She quickly looks at my carts belongings and says, “why are YOU in this lane?”, in a very demanding rude voice.
“Excuse me” I asked her with a taunting giggle attached to the end. Because I knew what she was up to as soon as she came back my direction. “You have more the 20 items! why are you in this line?”, she barked loudly at me, almost as if she wanted everyone else to know.
“How do you know I have more then 20 items?”, I asked her calmly.
“You can tell by looking at your cart”, she demanded.
I had some really mellow Jewell song playing on my iPod and It was my anniversary, so I wasn’t going to let her get under my skin. I gave her a big knowing smile as if to say “woman I got your number”, I flipped my hair off my shoulder like a prima-Donna and said, ” well then let’s just count my items then shall we?” And I walked to the front of my basket and quickly counted. 1, 2, 3,,,, 16, I stopped and looked at her and said, “actually, I only have 16 items.”
Just then the teller called for the next person and as I walked past her I could feel her anger seeping off of her. I had to make one more non-verbal dig just to prove a point. so, I made sure to walk back past her to grab two packs of gum off the “impulse buy” rack. As I walked buy Betty I ignored whatever she was putting out; But I could see the man who had been standing directly behind me in line and he had the biggest smirk on his face and was cracking up.
I am sure that was quite a show for him.
As I was walking out of the store, I saw Betty was being checked out and I had to laugh at what a scene she made of herself to potentially save an entire 5 minutes of her time.
Oh well just another day in LoLa-Land

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan