Single….. Again

Single again.  Single and unsure about how I feel.  I am hurt.  I am not really interested in moving on right now.  I feel like I need to just sit for a moment that is exactly what I said to the man that asked me out today.  “I’m on the fence and quite content there. I am just hovering in limbo and I like it here.  I need to heal my heart.  But, thank you” I said.  I am sure he was wondering why I thought he needed to hear all of that.  But he seemed to understand and walked away gracefully.  It made me feel good, though.  It is nice to know I am still desirable to the opposite sex.  

I was losing myself again but not in a bad way.  I felt myself becoming more and more an us than a me.  I missed him (miss him still) when he was away and I slept so, very much better when he was with me.  I was living as a couple and compromising on what shows to watch, what food to eat, when to eat, when to sleep. Etc  I am not trying to complain I was happy to do so.  He opened my eyes to many new shows and types of food and music; I am eternally grateful for all of it.  I was comfortable again.  Sometimes that comfort scared me because I didn’t want things to get boring. I was caught off guard by the end of our relationship.  To me it came out of left field and it was a line drive through the center of my chest.  

So, I am single again and I am no longer an us, again.  It is just me.  Just lil ol me, and as much as I miss him it is nice to just be able to be ME again.  I don’t eat if I don’t want to or I eat at 10.  I watch mindless woman’s television that drove him nuts and I listen to my music really loud, because it would always hurt his ears, so I couldn’t when he was around. I am free to flirt again.  I am free to say yes if I want.  If I want…..

I think I want to go back to the idea of dating me for awhile.  See how that plays out.  What if I hate myself?  NAWWWWWWW!!! I am too much fun!


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan