The Hickey Excuse List

I was discussing hickeys with a friend and how embarrassing they can be to have. Especially when you think about working your white collared desk job where appearance do matter. Or if you have a date with someone other than the person who gave you the hickey.

We started laughing about different ways one could lie and say something else happened to make a mark on ones neck. Most of these are so over the top you would have to be really desperate to find any other reason then to admit to the hickey, to use them. LoL but I hope you enjoy.

1- “What’s that on your neck?”
Answer- oh I was curling my hair and the dog walked in to drink from the toilet and his tail hit the curling iron cord causing it to hit my neck. It hurt so bad!

2- What do you have on your neck there?”
Answer- we went for a road trip yesterday and the seatbelt kept locking itself up tight around me and there was this hard knobby thing that was being pushed into my neck the whole time.

3- “is that a hickey on your neck?”
Answer- oh my gosh no! I was taking a break outside, sitting on a porch swing when all of a sudden this angry crow just came out of no where and attacked me. All I could see were the small black feathers on the birds wings as they slapped around in front of my face and all I could feel was him biting at my neck, It was horrible!

4-” what’s that right there (as they poke you in it) on your neck?”
Answer- oh man you won’t believe this but I was at one of those intense ” do it yourself car washes” with a friend and she thought it would be funny to vacuum my hair. Let’s just say it had more suction then either of us thought it would. The suction sound the vacuum made as it adhered to my skin was really quite loud.

5 – ” is that a hickey on your neck?”
Answer- A hickey?! Oh heavens no! That’s just where they put one of the electrodes from my electric shock therapy last night.

6- “is that some food on your neck or a hickey?”
Answer – yes it is food. So, please don’t touch it, I am saving it for later. (Then I would act offended and walk away)

7- “did you know you have something on your neck right there?”
Answer- (looking really irritated they even asked I would say) it’s a birthmark I usually cover with makeup because it looks just like a hickey and someone always has to make some rude comment. But, hey, thanks for asking.

8- “Nice hickey, maybe you should wear a turtleneck?”
Answer- I was actually wearing a turtle neck with a spider in the neck of it. Apparently after the first bite I was numb in that area from the poison, so I did not feel the rest of the bites. This is three weeks later, you should have seen my neck the next day. The Dr’s. were not sure I would survive. I mean there’s no way to chop off ones neck, right?

9- “Did you know you have something on your neck that looks like a very big hickey?”
Answer- ( here comes playing it stupid) ARE YOU SERIOUS? Oh my God! That would be so funny. Ha ha the idea of ME having a hickey on my neck? Haha. I am still a virgin.

10- “Jesus! What did you do make out with a serial killer look at that hickey?”
Answer- Yes! But that is not a hickey that is where he was trying to suffocate me. But thanks for caring.

11- “Wow! Look at that hickey!?”
Answer- (be totally stuck up, look really annoyed by the comment and) say, ” really? Do you think I am the kind of person who would let someone SUCK on my precious skin?

12- “Is that a big ass hickey on your neck?”
Answer- (laugh and say) Oh I know that’s what it looks like hu? Haha no funny thing was I took a big bite out of a very hot onion ring and the rest of the onion broke off and fell out of the fried outer shell and landed in a ball right on my neck. Burned the hell out of me.

Or you could always go with the old stand by of:
Lucky 13- “is that a hickey on your neck?”
Answer- I don’t know what the hell you are talking about. And then completely ignore that person for the rest of the week.

Well I hope that at lease one of these excuses will come in handy for you.

Just another fun day in LoLa-Land

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First Loves Memories

When I saw you today my first love
I felt a certain calmness wrap around me
I saw your beauty from earth to the sky above
Your presence brought back all my fantasies

I was taken then to a far off place
A home that holds my hopes and dreams
I let go of the fear and stress of the rat race
As my joys unfolded in streams

I was suddenly wrapped up in you
You penetrating me from every angle
I would have done anything you asked me to
As long as my body and your desire stayed tangled

Your wet kisses showering me down
My body glistening from your touch
Communicating without speaking out loud
Any more sweetness would have been too much

At last I let go of all that tormented me
Letting your desire for me take control
I relinquished Into your sweet mystery
I felt your energy deep with in my soul

leaving you was very hard thing to do
The time came way to soon
All I wanted to do was keep touching you
Stay until I saw tonights moon

You will always be my first love
You will always hold the key to my heart
I may fly off like a beautiful dove
But time will never keep us far apart

Cards Against Humanaties

Last night some of my peeps and I got together to play “Cards Against Humanities”. This was my first time playing it and I kicked some serious ass and won by a landslide.  But, being it literally states on the deck, “A game for horrible people”, it made me wonder what kind of person that makes me? Some would say being good at the game does not make me a horrible person; it just means I’m witty. Some would say that I was lucky and pulled good cards. But, some would say I AM A HORRIABLE PERSON!  All I can say is that I would go out of my way to pick the very worst or funniest cards to go with each question, damn the consequences, and really isn’t that the point? Every time there was a really crude answer to a question all of my friends assumed it was my answer and I know why; I am in person, just like I am on my blog.  I can talk about anything and everything, and I don’t get embarrassed.  Drives my mother insane and some boyfriends have not responded well.  LoL But last night, I was actually told I was going to go to hell on more than one occasion. Jeez.

 

I thought the answer “Doing anal” was a perfect response to “what was it mom acted out during charades that made me so horrified”.

 

or

 

“Two hours of leaky diarrhea”, was a great answer to, what refreshing liquid is good all the way to the last drop?

 

Or

 

One question was, ” _______ ” always livens up a party.  I had to go with, “Two midgets shitting in a bucket”.

 

Are these really that bad?  I mean I was merely working with what I had.  I only had 10 choices to choose from for possible answers.  If I go to hell I guess it will be deserved.  But, until then I think I am going to go get my own deck, because Damn; that game made me laugh so hard my face hurt.

 

(of course I wasn’t going to tell my friends that because they would have come back with “your face is hurting us to”).

Just Another Fun Night In LoLa-Land

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan