The Unwanted Ex

I have a handful of ex boyfriends and honestly it’s never really been a problem when I run into any of them. I am usually excited to see them and wish I had more time to catch up with them. Having spent so much intimate time with someone in the past, always leaves me wondering how they are now?

Really there are only two men that I would never want to see again and I have been blessed with the freedom of knowing, that they both moved away shortly after we broke up; so, I have never worried about running into either of them, that is until now.

I recently learned one of them has moved back to town. I was told his wife who he cheated on with me, while lying to me about his marital status, while continuing to sleep with her, while sleeping with me, and lying to us both, divorced his ass and he is now dating someone who looks to be about fourteen. ( I don’t know anything about who he dates, this is just what his friends told me).

What I do know, is I don’t want to see him at all. I hope to god I don’t just bump into him, because, I don’t know if I would be able to handle it without slapping him in the face, or screaming at him. Yes, I am still angry with him. Yes, I am trying to work on this anger. But, the man lied to me, cheated on me and stole from me. He was a big jealous freak who hated me having friends of any kind and would be suspicious anytime I went anywhere without him. It got to the point where my friends never saw me because he would make me miserable before and after I went out; so, I hardly ever went out anymore.

As angry as I was with him for bugging out of my life before he finished the job he started in my bathroom, which he was only doing because he owed me money he couldn’t pay back, I was grateful he moved far away so I wouldn’t have to ever see him again. Every time I saw him before he left, a little bit of vomit would come up my throat and I would be struck with a sudden urge to hit him, hard.

At the same time maybe his quick departure was a bad thing. Because, I never got to tell him what a low down dirty, lying, cheating, thieving evil dog I thought he was. I never told him how he had destroyed my faith in men and how completely psychotic I think he is. I never got to get my money back that he owes me, or be able to go “To Wanda” on his car, which I so desperately wanted to do. fried green tomatoes But, damnit, I’m a Buddhist and I believe in karma, so I can’t hurt him back.

My hope is that I don’t run into him unless I know ahead of time that he will be there, so I can be mentally and emotionally prepared. I also hope the man comes through with a very heartfelt apology and the money he owes me, or I fear I will always hate him. I have worked so hard in my life to not hate anyone… Obviously, I’m still working on my energy around him.

Wish me luck

Just another day in LoLa-Land


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan