Why Relationships?

I wonder as I get older if the idea of “happily ever after” in bed, can really exist between any two people? Can you stay “in-love” with someone after 10, 20 or 30 years and still be monogamous? After so many years, when you can predict your partners every move and what their going to say or do during sex, how is it possible to keep things fresh and exciting? In this new wold of divorce and separation are we really being practical by getting married in the first place?

More and more I discover that my ex-husband and I were very rare. We never brought anybody else in our relationship. We never had any group sex, we didn’t do sex parties and we never switched with other couples. I have since getting divorced, discovered that, those acts are far more the norm these days. More normal then living in a strictly monogamous relationship where it’s just two people.

I wonder if I was still married, if I would be happy, if we had tried to mix it up a bit? I always worried that opening up our relationship would be like asking the devil to come in, it may be all fun and games at first, but at some point you get burned?

Recently, I was approached by a man in an open marriage. He and his wife have been together for 25 years and love each other very much and want more from their partners then they can get. They have now opened up the relationship to allow for those experiences to transpire, without changing who they are to one another, or the fact that they still love each other, and support each other, because they are married. The husband wants to know if I would like to be his friend with benefits?

I have friends who allow other woman into bed with her and her husband. They have entire relationships with love, and support for all three of them. These are people, who have been married for decades. I have other friends who switch or go with their partners to sex clubs. Other friends who take a night off a week with no questions no tell policy and its working for them.

With all of this outside stimulus coming into these private bedrooms I wonder where the marriage is really that important anymore? Not to dismiss the importance of marriage but why are we settling down for the long hall, with a “license”, when ultimately what we want is some fresh entertainment from time to time. Is this the new way of being in-love?
Should we all become accepting of our partners sharing us or sampling the local cuisine (so to speak)? Why do we bother with the commitment at all? Marriage almost seems antiquated in its principals and a huge pain in the ass to reverse.

Why do we struggle so hard to be in a relationship, or to find love, only to want to step away from it for awhile or bring another persons energy in and change it? It almost seems like Sabotage to me.

Who knows? I know I don’t.

I do know that It’s just another crazy weekend in LoLa-Land.

Small side note- if your wondering how I know all of this and OH SO MUCH MORE, it’s because I can talk about sex to anyone at anytime for any reason and not get embarrassed, It’s a gift. A lot of people tend to discuss their sex lives with me.

These couples that


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan