My Date With The Big Bang Theory

last night I ended up on a date with a man who seemed like Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard from the Big Bang Theory, all wrapped into one interesting character. He dressed like Howard (but with less color), with his tight shirt tucked into his pants and had it buttoned all the way to the collar. He had some really dark braces on, that were obviously helping some really crooked and brown teeth, (ok I can get over braces but his teeth were brown!). He had a weird balding thing happening, with tuffs of white hair coming out from the top of his head. His nose was very large at the end and he had a lisp when he spoke. He was hunched over the entire time we talked, which made me think he was looking at my boobs, because he was only 5’9, it couldn’t be that he was too tall.

Like Leonard I could tell he was nervous because he was very fidgety with his coffee cup and he would give this little “huhu” chuckle/giggle after he would say something he thought was funny. But if I said something funny he would just give me a blank smile. (I think this is when he was thinking to himself, “ok try to impress her with your certificates or your community service.”).

Just like Sheldon from are beloved Big Bang Boys, this man had to tell me about EVERY single one of his certifications, awards, and abilities. He discussed his military background at length, because “he is trained for battle”! (I kept thinking, “ok Howard and of course your an astronaut!”). He told me all about his community service “calling” of being a paid math teacher for a charter school. (Sorry what? Just because you hated it does not make it community service. It may have been more like community service for the kids who had to put up with his ass). By the end of the night I knew he was a well trained and sought after choral singer. That he has many lessons and experiences regarding his catholic background and he so incredibly smart that there is not ONE SINGLE MATH PROBLEM THAT HE CAN NOT SOLVE!!! (I’m thinking, is this a fact? If so why are you not in the CIA or NASA like Howard?)

This guy reminded me of Raj when he started talking to me about the woman he is actually in love with and had been for decades but can’t have. “His kissing friend” he called her. (It’s great that I can get men to open up to me but do they really think i can’t feel how they care for someone else when they do?) I could feel his sadness and utter loneliness at this point. I could tell how desperately he wanted me to like him. Even though I was trying really hard to see past his looks I at least have to see a certain something in his eyes, and I couldn’t even see that.

I felt bad and very awkward when it was time to leave. I did not want that weird “can I kiss her” part that happens at the end of a date, but sure enough, it did. He grabbed me up for a hug and I did the one arm, with a pat, pat, on the back (which I swear we all learned on Seinfeld means, “just friends”). I then turned to leave and he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. When I turned to look at him, he had his face jetted out right in front of mine, with his eyes closed and his lips were pressed together in fishy Fashon. I dropped the quickest peck on his lips, dropped his hand and practically ran to the car.

I think this man now knows that I do books for several clients around town, I had a hard time with Math in college and that I used to sing for a choir as well. That is all he heard about me and that was not from him asking it was from me interjecting into his diatribe about himself. I told him before the date that I like chivalry in my men. But, when I got there 5 mins early he was already seated and drinking coffee. He did not rise to meet me, he did not come to the line and wait with me for the 10 mins it took, he did not pay, he did not offer to clean up the table he sat at where a mess resided on my side, and he did not rise when I came back to the table after I got my drink. The only thing he did that would be considered chivalry, was when he walked me to my car. But, I don’t think that counts because he just wanted a kiss. Nope, nope, nope.

Next!

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Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan