This Is The One

I’ve got a really good friend who is my “forever optimist” in regards to everything but her own life. I posted about her once. She is my rock.  She checks in with me periodically to see how I’m doing. Specifically, she usually likes to hear how my dating life is going.

She is so assure that I will find someone who will be perfect for me, just like she did. She wants me to have love so bad. I can feel her longing for my love life, it’s really quite sweet. Funny enough it seems like at least once a month I will tell her about someone specific that will make her go, “Hhmmmm I like the sound of this guy. I think this is the guy. I think this is him.”

The first time she said it, I felt so hopefully. “Oh maybe she’s right? Maybe this is the guy!”  I think. But, as the months have ticked on by and the men have walked on by. I am still single and my dear friend has felt that, “whomever….is the one” at least 6 times.  I stopped being hopeful and have started chuckling at her. “Do you know how many times he has been the one?” I ask her.

Here we are again, I have found someone that I really like. So, when she asked me today what was up with my dating life i told her about him. I know she could tell I liked him, when she listened to me speak of him. The first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh I think this is the one!”

I love her hopeful optimism. It makes me hopeful myself, for myself. We all could use some hope right? She feels she met the only thing she ever wanted and she knows if she can find it, i can too.  I will keep letting her decide, “the one for me”. But as before, I’m going to veto them no matter how her feeling goes, if they don’t gel with me.

Just another fun night in LoLa-land.

The  Gluten In Me

For years now I’ve been seaking treatment for the hormone issues that plagues me.  I’ve been to the doctors several times and they have suggestions like, ” hysterectomy (even though I have no pain), birth control pills (even though I can’t have kids), surgery (which only stopped some of my symptoms),  and Prozac (because I’m depressed as shit for a day). The list it just goes on and on. I am sure you get the picture. 

So, then I tried acupuncture and I did the needles for a year, then needles and herbs in capsule form, and then needles and herbs in raw form. I have spent thousands of dollars on this issue and though it was getting better with the Acupuntcure, I could no longer afford it. So, now what? Do I take birth control pills for my busted down ovaries?  Or suck the entire baby making factory out of there?

Then my acupuncturist says to me “have you ever thought you might be gluten allergic”. (All I could think was, why the HELL would I think that?  I mean my mom is but that doesn’t mean anything. Right? Is that a hereditary allergie? Kill me now if I have to give up bread). “Why would you think that?” I asked her. All the while freaking out inside, Just thinking about the pizza and sandwiches that I would not be enjoying (Just typing this I have the biggest pouty face).  She replied, “I’ve been taking a class on it and you seem to show all the same characteristics in your symptoms”. 

It’s been two months since she suggested this and this week I managed to go two straight days  without any bread. I actually saw a huge improvement in my bloating and just felt better. But, does that mean I’m allergic? Or is that just about the bread? (I mean it’s all carbs and it all turns to sugar so…. Why would you feel great later after eating bread)?

So, starting March first I am going to cut out as much gluten as possible.  I am probably going to be one cranky bitch too. But, be it allergic or Just healthier and happier, I want to see if it could make a difference or even stop these issues I’m having? Wouldn’t that be ironic? All this time, money, energy and just general bad days, do to my emotions and it could have all been stopped by not eating certain things?

OY!

Can You Call Me?

I woke up to this message, “can you call me?” from this weeks blind date. I have never spoken to him apart from online so, why is he asking me to call him?  But, curiosity killed the cat, so of course I did. 

He said while sounding very stuffed up, “I wanted to tell you about last night.  I was driving on the highway when I saw a woman walking on the side of the road and it was night time, so I pulled over and offered her a Lift. When she got in my truck, I could tell she was upset.  She said her boyfriend and her had a fight and she left her purse at home, could I take her home so she could get it. So, of course I took her home. When we got there her boyfriend came out of no where and just started hitting me from behind with a crowbar.  I was laying on the ground covered in blood when someone finally got him to stop, I never even got a punch in.  I was able to climb back in my truck, and his girlfriend drove me out of there. We called 911 and pulled over so the ambulance could find us. The ambulance driver, said my skull was fractured and they had me helicoptered to the nearest hospital.  My skull was not fractured, but I did get 8 staples in my head, the guy broke my nose and chipped my tooth. But, I’m home now. I just wanted to tell you that I’m not going to look that sexy when I meet you.”

I said, “what?! Are you fricking kidding me!?”

I was tempted not to believe his crazy story but then I saw the whole thing and his name in the local paper.  Of course, in the paper the facts around who the woman who was with him, were different from what he told me.  But still, oh my god! What a crazy, crazy story. And how sad, (if he was really trying to help a damsel in distress, that this would happen to him.) He told me, “I am going to think twice about being the good samaritan from now on!”  I think that’s so sad.  I hate that idea, I said, “Don’t  ever stop being good to people. It doesn’t always end up like this” 

The only funny thing about any of this (and funny weird, not funny haha). Is that this man who is to be my next blind date (now bruised and blind) and his event, probably incorporated the use of several other of my blind dates. For example, it could easily have been my sexy fireman who was called to his 911 report. The asshole that disappeared on me,  was a 911 helicopter airtraffic controller, he probably had to bring the flight to safety.  I dated a sweet man who is a nurse in the ER of that same hospital, he was flighted to. He may have worked on this man when he got to the hospital. And lastly another guy I dated probably got a call from the asshole boyfriend, because he is one of the biggest bailbonds men in town.

Now that I see that run down of past blind dates, I’m thinking, “I really need to stop dating!”

I’ve been looking for you 

where on earth have you been?

I’ve been looking all over for you

I was just about to throw the towel in

give up on the hope of something new

 

 

You snuck in just under the wire

A little duck and cover and you were in

Now all I can feel is my desire

with you I want something to begin

 

 

I’m fighting the hope I feel

for fear I’ll get hurt

I’m not sure You can except my deal

This relationship may be curt

 

 

All the while I want to jump for joy

Sit in hopeful bliss that your him

I have no interest in playing it coy

I just want to experience a good end

 

 

 

Dating Burnout

I recently had a very surreal Friday, one that actually left me a little worn thin, regarding men.   You see it was Friday and I had no plans that night (which is rare). I had been asked out by a guy I knew,  but I didn’t really want to hang with him that night, so I said no. 

Then at work I got asked out by a guy on the dating sight, his name was Jon.  Jon had some cute pictures but had not uttered a word to me via the World Wide Web until that day; and yet, he was asking me out. Jon was really cute too!  So I said yes, what the hell why not? I had nothing else to do. Then Jon says, ” ok cool you can come to me. Be at my place at 8:30, oh and send me a pictire”. I was pretty much like, what the hell?  “Nope, I like chivalry and that’s not it” I said.  He replied, “what’s chivalry?” To which I said, “something that turns me on.  I think I’m going to pass on tonight’s date. But thank you “. 

Then a man I had been talking to,asked me to go out with him later that night. I thought to myself, “that might work because then I have time to see my BFF”, so I agree to meeting him at 9:30.  He then says, ” your not poor are you? I can’t date anyone poor.” (Really what the fuck?) “no I’m not poor and now I’m not interested. But thank you anyway”, was the answer to his stupid question. 

Later in the day around three and I still had no plans for after work. Another man contacted me online to see if I could hang that night. He had struck up a conversation with me several times before and was cute, but I couldn’t remember why I always blew him off. “What are you doing later” he asked. “Nothing” I answered.  He replies, ” would you like to come over and watch me fist fuck my girlfriend”?  “Tempting” I reply, “but no thank you”. Then I blocked him. 

When I finally got off work I still had no plans to meet a man that night, and honest to god I was tickled pink about it.  I have been pretty disgusted since then and I actually ended up canceling two other dates I had lined up, and I  have not been really responding to anything on the dating site, since then. 

I’m on, “Dating Burnout”

if Yes, Then NO!!

What is it with me and truly unavailable men? I mean It dumbfounds me that I keep going from unavailable man, to unavailable man. It’s almost like I need to have a survey for anyone who’s interested in hanging out with, to fill out before meeting me. If they answer yes to any of the following questions, I am not to pursue them in anyway shape or form And in some cases, running would be the best choice.

1- are you a killer/ rapist, or have been arrested and tried for murder/ rape?
(Good start right? I mean go big or go home right?)

2- do you drink or do  drugs, to the point of passing out regularly?
( these guys are great if their funny when their loaded and you hate sex)

3- are you, in ANY way, confused about your sexual identity?
(Do you watch more gay porn then straight?)

4- are you married or “separated”?
( no brainer)

5- do you want to have children with me?
(This baby factories busted down and on strike)

6- are you under thirty?
(No babies need apply I’m not training anyone)

7- Do you think hitting a woman is acceptable behavior sometimes?
( if he says yes, hitting him sure should be)

8- Do you think other nationalities are inferior?
(God I hope no one says yes)

9- do you think homosexuality is a sin?
(Really?)

10- do you think I need plastic surgery?
(Nothing fake going on here!)

Sexy Is as Sexy Does

Went out with my sexy fireman again yesterday, it was good to see him again. Being he’s the only one that’s made it to a fourth date since I’ve been single; I am starting to feel more and more comfortable with him. I’m also starting to get tired of certain things.

Sexy fireman likes to talk a lot and he likes to repeat himself a lot. Did I mention he repeats himself a lot, just kidding. Being that we both have a love for the ocean we went out there again yesterday. It was overcast but still gorgeous as usual, and he and I were happy and joyful to be in our favorite place. But I had to laugh, because sexy fireman certainly thinks a lot about himself. And I noticed that as much as he seems to love my body; specifically, my booty, he never tells me I am beautiful.

But I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t think I’m beautiful, I think he just thinks about himself a little bit more than me. Yesterday, after forgetting his phone in the car. He asked me to borrow my phone five different times, so he could get more pictures of himself at the beach. He took about 10 selfie’s of himself and then demanded that I email them to him ASAP. Not once did he ask to take a picture with me or did he try to take a picture of me, or even ask me if I wanted a picture taken of me in front of our beloved ocean. I had to ask him to take the one picture of me that I got.
From what I know of sexy fireman, he will now go on Facebook and post all of those pictures of himself ( or at least 2) and about 50 women will respond, on how beautiful and sexy he is.

I guess I didn’t find yesterdays behavior from him very sexy. In fact I found it a turn off. Like one of the last times we went to the beach, I took this amazing picture of him when he wasn’t looking. I then I sent it to him a few days later and told him I was thinking of him. He did not thank me for the picture, he did not even tell me it was a good picture. But he did make it his Facebook profile picture and then didn’t give me any credit for taking it. But he thanked the 300 women’s on Facebook ( ok slight exaggeration) who commented on how beautiful he was.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tripping that he has other female friends. The sexy fireman and I are not in a committed relationship or anything. We are dating, so I know he’s dates other people, as do I. But, i’m starting to wonder if the sexy fireman thinks about he’s sexy more than anyone else does? It’s not sexy to me when someone thinks about themselves more than anyone else.

He’s starting to look like just a fireman to me.

Me and My True Love

It’s a visual blog today

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The Disappearing Act

I had another first date on Monday with Dave. Dave and I met at a coffee house and then walked around for an hour or so. He showed me a number of really cool pictures he took and read me some of his posts and I really liked his creativity and thought he had a good eye. Dave was not as cute in person as he was in his online picture, but I really liked his personality and his ability to keep a conversation going. (A quality that is sorely lacking in some men). We walked by a pub and had some dinner and wine. Then he walked me to my car where he planted a pretty good kiss on me. As I was getting in my car he pulled me back and said, “that was a wonderful, can I have another one?” And he kissed me again. When I got home he was texting me and asked me Out again for tonight. I said yes to the date because, what ever I thought he was lacking in looks at the beginning of the night, he made up for in personality and I found myself attracted to him.

The next day we texted all day, funny tit for tat things. We even discussed sex a bit and kind of got a feel for what that energy between us was like. We definitely had some energy too. When I got home I texted him to see how is very rough day was (which was a different story all together). He replied that it went fine, but he wasn’t feeling well?
I replied, “you don’t have to make up an illness just to get out of our date”. I was kidding of course because we were both obviously digging each other.
He messaged back, ” No I was actually being dead serious. Thanks for believing in me!” I felt bad he was sick and hoped he knew I was kidding. So, I responded with, ” you know I’m kidding right?” And I got no answer. This was at 7pm and I didn’t hear from him the rest of the night. So, I’m wondering did he go to sleep or is he mad?

The next morning having not heard anything from him still and now honestly being worried because from our date he seemed like a very normal man who would not just shut down on someone, but would rather use his big boy words to communicate his feelings. Worried I sent him this, “I hope your feeling better. I was going to see if you wanted some soup last night but I never heard back from you”. And again I got nothing back, nothing all day in fact.

That night I sent him a message that said this.
“Hey I am worried about you, the last thing you said to me was you didn’t feel good. I hope you know i was kidding and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. But, I’m not a stalker, so I’m going to leave you be if I don’t hear from you and assume out date is off. I really hope your ok. LoLa”. Still I heard nothing from him and he had been completely inactive on the dating site. Jesus! Did the dude have a heart attack or something, it was so weird.

Then suddenly, Yesterday he was active on the site again and still had not responded to any of my messages. It became loud and clear to me that maybe my joke had rung so true it made him run. but why? We seemed to be hitting it off so well. What on earth happened? Did his disappearing act, have everything to do with that one comment? Or did something happen in his life to make him go in a cave? I will never know because he didn’t have the balls to communicate with me. I was pissed that I was actually worried about this baby, oops I mean man.

I sent him one last message last night it said, “I am happy to see your alive but sad to know your just an asshole”

Just another disappointing single experience in LoLa-Land

No Sheets For You!

I’ve decided that my body does not like my newest set of sheets. I got a screaming good deal on a set of deep plum purple soft silky sheets. I got the highest threadcount I could find in my price range. I was super stoked about my purchase. I don’t know what the problem is but my body does not like them.

Now granted I am a crazy sleeper, I have been my whole life. I have gotten up, I have sat up, I have talked countless times, I’ve yelled at people, I have beat up my ex-husband; hell, I woke up thinking I was being strangled only to find that the sheet was wrapped around my neck, all while I’ve slept. But, those are random acts of craziness, they don’t happen all the time.

The difference here in this situation, is that every single night when I go to bed I make sure my bed is semi made. And every single morning when I wake up my sheet is somehow been pushed off my bed or aside while rest the blankets lay flat and Norman. It really is the most bizarre thing. I fall asleep with my sheet on over me, then a light blanket, then a heavy blanket and then my comforter (it gets cold here at night). I woke up one morning and I had the heavy blanket on me, perfectly laid out on top of that, was the comforter and on top of that, was the light blanket and then there was the sheet, (they weren’t even perfectly reversed like I flipped them over in my sleep). The sheet has been pushed aside in some way every single night.

I just don’t get at all, my body seems to be ok with the sheets while I’m awake. I wish to god I knew why I seem to take issue with them at night. Maybe I need to set is a tripod and camera and see what happens.

Just another unexplained night in LoLa-Land

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan