Saying Goodbye To A Home

I found myself oddly depressed this weekend. My best friend and her mom packed up the rest of their belongings and had to leave the house they have lived in for over 30 years.  I knew I would be depressed to see them go, that was not the part that I found odd. The odd part was realizing how Sad I was to say goodbye to their home as well as them. 

I met Crys one of my best and oldest friends when I was in 7th grade. Her parents and her sibling had just moved into this brand new subdivision in town. Her parents were smart enough to buy before it was even built ,so they chose a lot right in front of the big neighborhood park.  

Crys and I were 12 when we met and would look at the large vacant lot that was fenced off,  with signs of the future park posted all over it, and imagine about how much fun we would have when it was done. Of course by the time the park was finished we were about 14 and parks were just not our thing anymore. 

I remember swimming in their doughboy pool in the backyard . I then remember watching the pool that we stopped swimming in because in high school we wanted to go hang out with boys, get thrown out and saw a three level koi pond buit in its place.  For years now I have fed those beautiful fish and listened to the trickling of the water. 

I remember in high school,  Crys and I were hiding boys In her closet. We would have them climb in her window at night. And when her parents wokeup for work we would hide them in the closet so they wouldn’t know any boys were there. 

I watched her dad die a very slow painful death in that house. I felt death for years every time I would wak inside. The house got quieter and quieter as dads pain level rose. When he left us, even though we were all so sad, we were all relieved he was no longer in pain. I felt the life come back into the home again as death left with dad. 

I remember when Crys decided to paint her room electric blue. But chose acrylic paint instead of the water based paint, like the one  that was already on the wall. That stuff stayed wet for like 3 days. We weren’t sure if it would ever dry. Now I wonder if the new owners will be able to get rid of that?

When my wasbund and I were starting to have problems it was this house that I stayed.    Mom gave me a room with a bed And a house key and said “whenever you need a place its yours!”  I remember feeling so lost and alone and not knowing which way to go in my life and being on the cusp of a massive depression.   I would hear Crys and her mom start laughing at some dimwit on judge Judy from the living room and I would get pulled out of my painful thoughts. 

I lived vicariously with my BFF in this childhood home of hers!  Watching them pack up all their memories along with their possessions and leave this home away from home, has been so sad.  I don’t know how I will feel not being able to just go through the back gate, careful not to step in a poop pile a dog left behind, so that I can come in the back door.  

There have been so very many good times and so many very painful times, but what’s hard to see go is just all the times. I know we will make new memories in new places but there will be no more memories made at this place and that breaks my heart. 

Where am I gonna go on Sunday afternoon when the world is busy with their families and I am home alone?. I would have gone to their house because they are my family.   Dad comes frequently to visit as the dragonfly that he has become, will he follow them to their new home in another state or will he hover around his pond still?  I don’t know I just know I’m devastated to see them go and feel a bit vulnerable not to have this childhood home. 

Dad on a leaf hovering above the pond he wanted. 


My BFF, Crys I love her 

Us with mom. 

I am going to miss it all.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jdwiesch
    May 12, 2015 @ 15:29:45

    I am so sorry that you are losing your friend. I know how much she has meant to you over the years. Sending you warm Hugh’s from your place in my heart.


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan