First Date Adventure

Last night I had another first date and In typical LoLa Fashon, it went amazing! (Lmao). Actually the date wasn’t bad at all. He’s a very good looking man.  He’s my age and he was very pleasant to talk to.  He picked me up and we drive out to the coast. We were at this one particular beach for a few hours. We sat at and talked for awhile then we walked all the way to one end and watched sea lions play. Then we walked all the way to the other end. It really wasn’t that far of a walk. But when you throw in the sandy terrain it feels much farther (especially to your butt).  

At one point I saw something I’ve never seen before there at that beach. It seems a tree either fell or crashed to shore. This large tree (about 30 feet long) was jetting out of the sand. The base laid buried beneath the sand but the tip of the tree hovered about 7feet in the air; Because of the way the sand was washed away under the top of it. The tree almost reminded me of the plank on the side of a pirates ship. You start on a solid surface but as you keep walking you realize your suspended in air. 

So, I say to my unsuspecting date, ” can you hold these?” Handing him my shoes.  I turned and ran to the base of the tree because I was suddenly hell bent on walking on it.  I stepped up on the side of the base of the tree, where of course the circumference of my walkway was nice and large and not moving an inch in any direction. But, with each passing step my playform got smaller and smaller (as trees get narrower the taller they get). At the same time the earth got farther and farther away. With each new step there was a Little more give in the tree, causing it to start to almost bounce when I took a step. I got about 2/3 way accross the tree when I saw my 6 foot tall date standing below me looking at me. It was then that I realized just how far off the ground I was, because the tip of the tree was still hovering in the air ABOVE his head.  

Realizing I would have a farther than average drop if I lost my balance and because my platform was now the same width as my two feet together and bouncing all around, I felt the need to stop and turn around. My date first flashed a few shots of me posed in the sky (which I wonder if I will ever see).   I Then needed to turn around to walk back and I froze! 

I literally could not move an inch. I looked at my impressed date with absolute horror in my eyes. “Oh shit! I’m frozen what do I do?” At this point there are other people watching me. A random woman calls out, “I thought you were ballsy to get up there in the first place. I can’t believe you walked that far out!”  All I could think was, “don’t be impressed until I get off of this thing in one piece”.  

My date suggested I sit down and turn around.  Even though I knew I would feel safer sitting down, I knew by the bounce in the tree that I would never be able to get up again. The tree was all knobby with knots all over it, so the last thing I wanted to do was drag my bottom half along the tree back to the base. I could just imagine how painful that would be on my Vagina and thighs. Nope! I need to turn around or try to jump was my solution.  

After surveying those two options and again seeing my date fitting under the tree top still, I opted to slowly (very very slowly) and with baby steps shuffled myself back around so I was facing the base of the tree again. Once completely turned around (turning took a good two minutes lol) I slowly walked back towards the earth with the tree still bouncing around underneath me.  With each step there was less bounce, with each step my platform got wider again and with each step my confidence grew. Finally the tree was back to being covered in sand and I could jump off the death trap I had gotten myself into. I took one big agreesive step which  lI was going to use the momentum from to jump off this plank of death. 

Typical LoLa Fashon, because the depth defying air walk (lmao) was not enough. Just as I landed my last step, to jump off the tree from, my right foot hit this hidden knob and I jammed the fatty ball under my toe on to it  perfectly.  As I was jumping back into the safe sand all I felt was immense pain shooting from my foot. Once on solid ground I could barely walk. I dropped to my butt quickly and held my foot not making a sound. It was almost like when a kid falls and they don’t cry right away. Then 30 seconds later they scream, that’s when you know it really hurt.  

My date was confused, by all visual accounts all went fine. I made it off the plank of death (Ahahah I love my exaggeration). 

 “Are you ok” he asked 

“Ummm no” I say breathlessly as I am trying not to scream, “I hurt my foot really bad”. 

“What? How ? What did you do?” He asked me

“I don’t know I really can’t feel anything” I replied

I then stood up, trying to be cool. All I could think was “suck it up buttercup! Be cool in front of this dude”.  I smiled at him and said, “let’s go”. He turned to leave as I took my first step. I knew with that  step that I wasn’t going anywhere soon and fell back down to my butt. He turned back to me surprised I was on my butt again. He looked so confused. 

“I can’t. I can’t walk! It hurts so bad. Can you please look at it and tell me what’s going on?” I asked him as I grabbed the side of my dirty injured foot and put it up in the air so he could look at it.  Right about the time he looked closely at it and started to almost puke I realized I had bloody chunks of sand on my hand. 

“Woe I’m bleeding!” I say surprised 

“Oh my god” my date says looking like he may pass out. 

“What the hell! What’s going on?” I ask slightly freaked out by his reaction and the fact that I can still only feel pain coming from my foot. “How bad is it?”

“I can’t look, I can’t” he says squeamishly 

Really this man has kids, I’m surprised he’s so freaked out. “Can you at least tell me if I have a cut on my foot or a chunk missing?” I ask him. 

My date unwillingly leans back down again and surveys my bloody stump. Again he appears to want to vommit and says, “it’s a chunk! Oh my god!”  

Now he has incredibly freaked out. I’m wondering if I need stitches or a complete amputation. I grabbed my injured foot and turned it as far as I could, so I could see the injured location. Sure enough right under my baby toe was a chunk of skin missing from the  fold under my toe and the pad of my foot. The chunk of skin was actually still hanging off of one side.   I brushed the bloody sand away and quickly yanked the demolished skin off of the side of my new hole.  I didn’t realize my date was still watching me and seeing me pull the bloody skin off made him start groaning like he was going to be sick. 

We decided that he would walk back to the car and drive it to the parking lot I was now only 40 feet from and I would try to hobble to the road on my own or wait for him to come help me.  I was able to walk with my heal to the road where I put on my flip flops and hobbled to the bathroom for toilet paper. Once my date drove up, I sat in the car cleaning my wound with a bottle of fresh drinking water I had in the car. My date couldn’t handle it and walked away while I doctored my injury.  What I really wanted was to go into the water and have the salt clean my wound but I was closer to the road then the ocean and it hurt too much to walk.  Once cleaned up I saw that is wasn’t really that bad, just a really bad location. 

 I wonder if my date will be asking me out again?. I wonder how many bloody first dates he has had. 

Just another great day in LoLa-land.



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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan