How Does This Sit With You

My friend Jay and I were hanging out and we had the most interesting discussion.  It first started with this story. 

“LoLa you’re gonna love this. My friend at work, Jen, she is this really short frumpy woman who has a hard time communicating; anyway, Jen has gotten laid by a hot 20 year old every single day for the last 15 days!” 

” oh wow!!! Well good for her! That’s awesome!!” I reply. 

“Well maybe? Maybe not?” He continues, ” Apparently, she was driving home a few weeks back (she lives 50 minutes north of work) and just before getting on the freeway she saw this young hottie sitting on the side of the road looking lost. She asked him when she got near him if he needed a ride. He said he did. He needed to go home, which was 30 minutes east of her work. I don’t know why she agreed to take him that far out of her way? Maybe she was hoping for some company? Maybe she felt bad for him. She didn’t get into all of the facts but they made an agreement that everyday she gives him a ride anywhere that he owes her sex.  So, for the last 15 days she has been picking him up, dropping him off and then picking him back up after work,  going to his apartment, (that he shares with his siblings), and they fuck. She even spends the night!” 

“Huh” I barely respond as I’m still comprehending why He seems so worked up by this. He kept going, 

“I asked her if she kisses him goodbye when they part and she just chucked and said, ‘no! We just wave’.  I’m shocked by this aren’t you?” 

” ummm, welll..” I’m about to answer him when he keeps going. 

“What kind of man has sex with a woman twice his age just for a ride. He’s whoring himself out!  We even looked him up on Facebook. She showed us his profile and he’s a good looking guy. Honestly he looked like he was in Highschool still. ”

” what if he is?” I asked. We laughed at this comment of mine but it started us going through the some assumptions. I asked him, “why do you assume this guy is whoring himself out. What if he likes her?” 

My friend quickly looks at me with a “no way in hell!” Look on his face and shakes his head no.  I continued, “Well what if he is addicted to sex. Consider the age, you were a lot more horny at  20 then you are now, what if he just likes to fuck? why should you feel bad for him? Maybe he likes having her around? Maybe she’s amazing in the ask? Why would he keep calling her everyday?”I ask. 

“I don’t know, the whole thing disturbs me LoLa.  I don’t know why?” He responded. 

“What if it were quite the different story Jay? What if she pulled over and when he said he needed a ride, she said, ” only if you promise to fuck me when we get there”? What if he has no choice in the matter and is feeling trapped into this? What if he will lose his job if be misses another day of work?”  I ask. 

He just sat there shaking his head. Like that scenario was just to far out there to consider, of course he knows Jen not me.  

“What I wonder Jay, is how did the whole ‘sex’ thing even come up? Who started the conversation of let’s trade rides for…. For rides?” I asked ( of course now I’m cracking up at my last statement).  Jay still looked perplexed. “I’m not sure why your so bothered by this story Jay”. 

He just sat there shaking his head, ” I just don’t get how he could have sex with someone like her, just for rides? It just all seems so wrong.” He said softly. 

I replied, ” we could sit for hours speculating how this arraignment of theirs came to be, how they may or may not feel about it, or even if it’s morally right for either of them. We don’t know. We don’t have enough facts. We don’t know them apart from your limited knowledge of Jen from working with her. Jay she could be lying.  Who are we to be judge and jury. Why are you worried? And who exactly are you worried about, him or her?”  

“I wasn’t trying to judge. I guess it just baffles me” was Jays last comment on the matter. He just sat their perplexed for a few seconds and I even saw him scratch his head at one point. LoL he never did tell me who he was more worried about. But, I find it interesting the things that disturb us on a gut level and why? 

Just another interesting conversation in LoLa-land

Dear reader- Just to tempt further  perceptions, assumptions, judgment a little more, I reversed this true story. In reality is a 52-year-old Hispanic man who can barely speak English and a 20-year-old African-American girl who needs the rides. Now how do you feel about the situation? Any different?


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan