You’re 0 to 60, I’m 0 to 2

Recently, Sexy fireman came to visit me and take me out to dinner. I hadn’t seen him in awhile but as usual the man was looking fine as all get out! I just think he is so handsome. I love his amazing smile with his sparkling  white teeth and big yummy lips.  Even more so I love his body! He’s huge! His hand can span and grip a basketball.  He’s  6’5 and like 290lbs of muscle! He can carry me around….well, haha, yeah, he’s a fireman.  Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is I find him very appealing to my eye and my hands (ok I’m giggling to myself right now). Yet, every time I see him I have a very hard time ajustng to him at first. 

Apparently, he finds my looks just as appealing to him, as I do his.  Because he tells me whenever he lays his eyes on me how beautiful I am and how good I look.  The man is obsessed with my ass, it’s almost funny.  He loses all focus if he sees it.  He will be in the middle of a scentence and if I walk by he stops taking just to stare at me (I love it,  Hee hee hee).  So, as soon as I see him, he’s usually got a hold of me right away. He will walk in the door, swoop me up and not put me down. So this time I had to say to him, “SF you need to stop clutching on me and let me go, so we can talk”  

“Oh sorry, can’t we talk like this?” He asks while he still has me in a bear hug, “you know how much I love that body of yours. That one dude who didn’t like your body was stupid, but his stupidity is my gain! Cause…. Damn girl! And I don’t know how anyone could ever cheat on that fine ass of yours! I would never let it go!” he replied as he kissed my forhead sweetly.

He’s so sweet, He always makes me feel so good about myself because he likes my form so much, just the way it is. We always talk openly about our lives and the people we spend time with, it’s nice to know he listens and thinks other men I have met and rejected me are fools.  But, even with all of his compliments, I am always taken back by his aggressiveness and instant touching. I told him, “you walk in and go from 0 to 60”. 

“Huh what do you mean?” He asks as he’s got one of those huge hands spanning one of my butt cheeks.

“You walk in and your just this big dude, which is intimidating and you instantly grab me up and start touching me. You go from 0 to 60, I’m like 0 to 2.  I love seeing you, but I need some time with you before I start wanting to touch you or have you touch me. I need to warm up. I need to get a feel for your energy again and talk to you a spell.” (SF is from the south so when I’m with him my nana who was raised in the south comes out.)  

“Oh” he says as he lets me loose “sorry JB I just want to touch you as soon as I see you” he replies. 

We sat on the couch for awhile and jaw-jacked, then we went to dinner. Like I said he is from the south and his mama taught him well. He opens all my doors for me and even gets mad when I try to open one. It’s as if my hands should never have to be bothered with such remedial tasks, It’s kind of nice.  We had a lovely night and by the time dinner was done and we were heading home, I was all warmed up to 60. Because unlike men with woman, forplay starts with being treated like a lady and with respect. The entire evening reminded me of a post I wrote years ago and how my thoughts are still the same. Check it out Are you Visual?

It was Another fun night with SF in LoLa-Land. 

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Space For You

I will make space for you
Empty some drawers
Need hangers? I have a few
Your always welcome through my door

I will save the time for you dear
Make room in my schedule
I seem to always want you near
I think what we have is special

I have some space in my heart
For you there seems to be ample
You open me up instead of tear me apart
If you don’t believe me i’ll give you a sample

I will stay excited to be with you sexy
I’m still short of breath when first I see you
I always smile when I glimpse your face and body
You put me in such a flutter I don’t know what to do

I will make it all work out for us
Do what I can to make you happy
I wouldn’t dare make a fuss
Or bother getting all sappy

It will be a quite pursuit for your care
I will hold on to your hand when you want
I’m just so thankful that your there
It’s your net that has me caught

Pickled Weekend

This was another full throttled extravaganza weekend here in LoLa-Land.  Usually this time of the year I don’t make time for such fun weekends because I don’t have the time. But, that is just how the cookie crumbled this year. Since, I suffer from “FOMO” I couldn’t say no to any of the amazing opportunities that presented me! (FOMO is the Fear Of Missing Out).  

Friday night was a blast from the past when I was able to reunite with four of my Old Bunko mates and go bowling.   We found that we bowl much like we Bunko.  The woman who took playing Bunko seriously, were serious about bowling. The woman who just came to Bunko to escape their families,  smoke and drink; did the exact same thing at Bowling. Or they were bitching because they couldn’t smoke and drink.  We did drink while we bowled and then we went to the neighborhood Applebee’s for more drinks and a very late (if not early) incredibly nasty dinner.  I got home feeling very thankful for my night.  it was so great to spend such a fun time with old friends (some I’ve known since I was 13). 

Saturday I did chores and worked, then prepared for the wine “Mystery dinner in the caves”. Originally I presented the idea of going to one friend and it quickly became myself and 7 of my newest friends (two of which were having birthdays). We had a lovely night trying to solve a murder, while questioning actors dressed to fit a part, all while in a cave, consuming copious amounts of wine and delicious food. 

 
We all had an absolute blast and I think we would all go again. Of course the Tasty wine definitely obstructed my normal very quick deduction and reasoning skills. You know the ones,  that allow you to usually figure out who the killer  is right away. This night…. I was just a hot clueless mess! 

  

 Sunday morning I went with three of the friends I was with night before, to a nearby winery that I adore and enjoyed  a special wine tasting from all of their reserve selections.  Luckily for all of us it wasn’t raining and we were able to enjoy the majestic surroundings in all its glory. It was a lovely Sunday. It was nice  spending a few hours getting to know these new friend better. Even better was doing it while pickling my liver even more. 

As I sat their basking in the sun, sampling $100 bottles of fermented juice, taking in the flower gardens, rolling vineyards and marsh lands, for free, I was reminded yet again, just how blessed I am.  I may not have the most extravagant life.   I don’t own coach purses or were Louis Vuitton shoes, but I do seem to have a number of amazing experiences That I enjoy. I am thankful for all the wonderful times I had this weekend and I love that my life allows me those opportunities.  I know I will have many more to come!

Just another thankful- pickled weekend In LoLa-Land 

Parenting 

I’ve taken care of a lot of other people’s kids in my life. I have been apart of raising many nieces and nephews. I have observed something with parents that cracks me up, and that’s the difference between raising one child vs multiple children. With each child they become more and more relaxed. Here’s a prime example. 

First time parents – the child has a pacifier in its mouth and spits it out into a moody puddle. The parent who is right by the child’s side, quicker than lightening, swoops up the soiled pacifier and thrusts a brand new sterile one, that was in a sealed container into the child’s mouth. Then takes the soil pacifier and places it into a Ziploc baggie so that it can be boiled and dried later. 

Second time parents- the child has a pacifier in its mouth and spits it out into a moody puddle. The Parent who is nearby, quickly rushes over, grabs the pacifier from the child, who has picked it up from the muddy water and wipes it with a wet wipe that they have in a bag in their pocket. Then hands the pacifier back to the child to suck on. (Inevitably the kid gets the pacifier a weird look at the strange taste it now has). 

Third time parent – the child has a pacifier in its mouth and spits it out into a moody puddle. The parent who sitting far enough away to see the child and is talking to friends.  Observes without movement, the child drop the pacifier, then pick it up and place it right back in their mouth. The parent then says, “a little extra germs will help with their immune system”.

Fourth time parents – the child has a pacifier in its mouth and spits it out into a moody puddle. He looks down picks it up and thrusts it back in his mouth.  The parent has no idea this has just happened because they are busy tending to something else. 

Fifth time and up parent – the child has a pacifier in its mouth and spits it out into a moody puddle. He looks down picks it up and thrusts it back in his mouth. The parent who is exhausted and sitting on the porch surrounded by laundry, toys, kids and other peoples kids, sees the child suck on the dirty  pacifier and thinks to themselves, “who’s stupid kid is that?”

New Day

Forgetting the pain of yesterday
I wait in silence for the new day to begin
Ready for the sun to shine some rays
Ready for yet another day to end

I am happy to see those 24 hours go away
As I am about so many other days before it
It was draining on my soul in so many ways
It was a lesson in taking what ever you can get

A day of selfishness, greed and vanity
For which no one else seemed to care
A day that had me wondering about humanity
Because nothing that happened seemed fair

Feelings were hurt beyond measure
Words were spoken that can never be forgot
It was a destruction in all we treasure
The degradation of all things that can’t be bought

Let’s hope tomorrow brings a new understanding
Maybe people will realize their contribution to this fight
Hopefully everyone’s minds will start expanding
Let’s try to make Peace and Understanding  our new plight!

Eastern or Western

The doctors want to cut into me again, and again I’m faced with the decision of going with Western medicine or Eastern medicine. The fact that the doctors want to slice me open is just not an idea I am super fond of.  So what’s a girl to do especially when I’ve experienced the attributes of Eastern medicine’s abilities and know that they’re effective?

With each new problem that my body faces in my middle age I wonder if my favorite treatment of acupuncture, meditation and positive thought will get me through it?  What if I had cancer? Which road would I take then? For me in that case I would probably do both forms. Attack whatever’s attacking me, try to kill it before it kills me. But, this is not the same case.

In my current situation I am willing to give the eastern medicine a shot before I do what the western wants to do.  Yes! I would rather be poked with needles 100’s of times, on multiple days, then to be sliced open once just to have something removed.  In my Western Medicines doctors own words, ” the next step is to go in a cut them out but because of their sensitive locations you will be vulnerable to more infection” (No thank you!). My acupuncturist said, “since the problems been going on for awhile you may need to come in for a follow up visit” and then left me with about 50 needles in my legs to sleep (and boy did I). 

Which one sounds better to you? Are you willing to go outside of your box to try a different remedy? Which box is yours? Are you more comfortable with the western box or the Eastern box?  Is being sliced open with a knife or radiated, far less scary to you then a bunch of little needles sticking out of you at one time?

Here’s To Hoping 

 

final sunset 2015


 

Every year on New Year’s Eve I sit on my beach (no I don’t own it, but it’s mine 😉) in front of the ocean that I adore and I always watch the final sunset of the year.  Right before the sun touches the horizon    and the water goes opalescent,  I start to feel all this hope and excitement for the next year.   I feel nothing but promise, a promise for something wonderful or exciting to happen.  A promise for boundless joy and happiness. And yet the last two years I have been faced with opposition to me obtaining these hopes and dreams, On damn near the first day! 

Last year it started late New Years Eve and carried forward into the new year. When one of my best friends decided to stop speaking to me based on something someone else did. Last year started with the death of a close friendship. This year started with news that my ex had lied to me and had been unfaithful. The only saving grace in this years direct hit, is knowing that I am not still with the asshole. 

I’m hoping that my years tend to start off bad and then work there way up. Because it was towards the end of last year that I got to go to Italy, last year ended on a great note! But honestly, if it got much worse then this, I would probably  be dealing with a death or something equally tragic.  

My friends keep saying, “LoLa It’s in the past. You have to just let it go and move on”.

Then to my own my defense, I say,  “I’m going to be fine! But, am I not allowed to admit to myself and others, that it fucking hurts to know he did that?! Can I not just feel this deception for a minute, before I blow it off like, ‘well… It figures!'”?

I’m going to raise my chin up soon.  It’s slowly been picking up with each passing day.  My heart? My heart is a different story. Because, this years news has opened a new wound in my heart.  I have to let it do some healing before I can get my entire glow back. But, my angels  know I am trying. Hopefully I’m right! Hopefully my years start off horrible so that they can just get better.  

And here’s hoping to things getting better in LoLa-Land

Date For One

Tonight’s date was an interesting bird
One I’ve never really come Accross before
With a body of a god and a face like a nerd
I was curious to see what else was in store

I’m really not sure what I think of this one
He spent most of the night looking elsewhere
I didn’t know if he would cut and run
Or show me some sign he was mentally there

Maybe it’s a respect level I’ve grown accustomed to
He doesn’t seem to know what communication is
It comes with age and having as many dates as I do
That requires my company to have some insightfulness

He just kept talking about himself
Like he was giving me his resume stats
I’d rather just pull his biography off the shelf
Then to have to endure another second of his act

It’s like he would talk just to hear himself speak
Not saying anything of importance about himself
I said nothing as he would not let me get in a peep
He kept discussing any topic for which he chose to delve

I played with my straw and sat stirring invisible ice
I cleaned the cracks in the table with my thumb
I did all this as I looked him straight in the eyes
I needed to do something I was so bored I was numb

I wanted him to know I was listening to him
And all the dribble that escaped his lips
I hoped at some point his questions to me would begin
But I was unable to even let out a few quips

The date was nothing like I hoped it would be
It was a lesson to see how far back my ear would bend
He loved himself too much to get to know me
It was a date for one and I couldn’t wait for it to end

Wrong Block For My Box

What do you do when you continuely give people more credit then they deserve?  Are you hoping for what you want someone to be rather than who they truly are?  Or can you see the flaws in people just like all the rest, but you just don’t care?  How does one learn to be more selective with the people in their life? 

I have found myself disappointed in others a lot lately.  Both men and woman alike proved to me last year, that I am not as important to them as they are to me. I wonder Is this because I loved them more then they loved me? Or is it my determination to never let anyone go, even when their assholes?  What makes me stupidly hold on to people, when I myself should turn my back to them?

It’s like I’m a little girl again, and I have that yellow box with different size holes cutout of the sides of it.  I’m trying to find the perfect sized block to fit through the correct hole, And no matter what block I pick up none of them seem to fit exactly right.  I can maybe get a few of the sides of the block to fit in but then there’s always one side that seems to refuse to go in. So you think, “maybe,  If I coax it or sweet talk it? Or maybe, if I just hit it really hard, maybe then it will fit? ” But, even if it takes days or weeks, no matter how close you think you are to making it work, if the block doesn’t fit, it simply doesn’t fit!

I find some people are like these blocks and my soul is the square, I keep trying to fit them into my world.  But, sometimes certain people just don’t fit.  And yet, I will just keep trying to make them fit.  Is that stubbornness or desperation?  Shouldn’t I take it as a sign when part of a person doesn’t want to be with me or they have a side of them that sticks out like a sore thumb? If it’s obvious to me that we don’t fit well together, Why do I still become so attached? Does anyone else have this issue? 

It’s just another introspective morning in LoLa-Land

Reality or Cartoon 

Last night I dreamt I was making love to someone I know well and right as I was orgasming, I leaned in to the nape of his neck and I whispered very honestly for the first time, “I love you”. Suddenly,  I felt his entire body stiffen up like An ironing board.  I started to back peddle because I knew he was about to freak out and I started to say, “I meant…”  

But, just then, my dream suddenly turned into a cartoon and my love was suddenly the roadrunner. One second he was next to me in bed and then the next  all I saw was a cloud of dust and then I heard the “beep, beep” sound. 

I never remember my dreams but this one woke me up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and jumping out of beat all over the place. I had to sit up and try and get my breathing  in order for like five minutes before my heart finally settled down.  I’ve always known that if I ever did fall in love this man would run like the wind. I’m not sure why my mind felt the need to remind me. But, it sure was funny the way it did. I think when I woke I was so panicked because maybe I thought someone shoved some TNT in my ass or ANVIL was about to drop on my head. 😉

Just another telling night in LoLa-Land

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan