To Judge Or Not

I recently found out through a friend that there are some people in my life  whom feel that I have been faking my head injury. I guess it’s easy to disbelieve anything you can’t see but don’t you think it’s sad when it’s people who you thought loved and cared about you whom are the ones who doubt you?

This week has been far better, though I am still off of work and healing. I managed to go all day yesterday without a nap, which is amazing. My energy was really low still but not debilitating like it has been. I was asked out to a lunch date and a dinner date, on the same day and actually said yes to lunch. However, I was way to tired to enjoy dinner out. 

My head only ached a spattering  of times yesterday and only as a dull ache or sharp pain in one isolated area. I was able to move through them while still functioning. There wasn’t one moment that I needed to be in complete darkness and silence because of them, which was like a vacation for my brain. 

My memory is still foggy at times. But I am no longer losing my entire train of thought like it was never there in the first place. I’ve always been more used to my mouth not being able to keep up with my brain and so sometimes my words would come out wrong. I may appear dimwitted to others but I’ve never really cared. But last week I was so worried my quick thinking was a thing of the past. I feared I would be talking to people and just lose my thoughts for the rest of my life and it scared the crap out of me. 

All of this has brought my brothers brain damage up to the surface for me and has scared me so bad.  My brother has no short term memory.  He meets you and introduces himself again, about two minutes later.  It took him 5 years or so to remember my ex husbands name and now it’s been about 3 years since the divorce and he still calls and leaves my ex a message nearly everyday.  His brain injury stopped his life completely and has him Stuck in time

To hear that people I love, would think I would make up a brain injury after my family has been effected by it so traumatically makes me sick. Why do people feel they need to sit in judgement of others? Just because you can’t see a problem doesn’t mean it’s not there. It’s like my learning disability. People would assume I just wanted extra time or help. I would tell friends when I was in school and they would say, “lucky! I want more time to take the test!” I would think to myself ” Screw them! I’ll trade the extra time for a brain with no disabilities any day”. Sometimes I think People can be thoughtless. But, with each hardship and great joy I Experience, I learn not to judge others a bit more because you get a small glimpse into what someone else may be dealing with. 

Now I wonder, Does this mean that the most nonjudgmental people are the ones whom have experienced more tragedy or adversity then others? Should I consider someone a friend, when they doubt my character like this or is it human nature to doubt that which we can not see, touch or feel? 

Just another questioning day in LoLa-Land


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan