Dating The World In This World

I’ve learned in my life to never judge a book by its cover. Just because someone comes wrapped in a package that wouldn’t normally be your favorite wrapping paper doesn’t mean you won’t like the gift inside.  When I was married I remember saying I had only ever dated white men. I don’t even think I had dated outside of the typical German/English man. I didn’t have a lot of Experiance , just a few long lasting relationships. 

Since being divorced I’ve had the pleasure of dating lots of different men. Many for only one or two dates and several for many dates.  I can now say I’ve dated Italians, Irish, Nicaraguans, African American, bikers (lol) more Germans and English men (still no Asiens, yet). There are many similarities and differences to all of the races in the world of men. I could write a book about them all. But today I want to write about perception. More Accurately the perception of us we get from people. The vibe people can give you as a couple. 

When I spend time with white men it’s no big deal. We are just another couple in a sea of couples. But, when I spend time with Sexy fireman who is African American I have noticed a feeling of hatred towards us at times. Once at a gas station as SF filled up my tank, I watched some redneck in a Hummer glaring at SF. Sexy Fireman didn’t even seem to notice or if he did he ignored the man who looked like he was just waiting for any reason to fight SF. I don’t know why?  I imagine this man and these people who feel this way  are racist and maybe take issue with us being a couple or they just take issue with SF in general? Not caring he’s a veteran and fireman, they just hate him for his skin tone. The entire feeling I get makes me sick and yet it doesn’t stop me from seeing him. 

Recently started hanging out with a man from Nicaragua and have gone a few places with him in are fair city. I haven’t noticed anger from people When I’m with him. People don’t seem to hate us for no reason. But, we live in a predominately Hispanic state and the interracial Hispanic and white couples are everywhere. Where he and I live (because he lives very close to me) it’s is about 80% Hispanic and a spattering of the rest of the ethnicities make up the remaining 20%.  But, what I find interesting (he has even noticed it and loves it), when we walk in our neighborhood, the other Hispanic men stare at me like I’m meat and he will see them and choose that exact moment to pull me in for a kiss or wrap his arm around my back. 

He said once after he chuckled a little, “they all want you LoLa. You’re so beautiful and they love the blonde hair. I’m so lucky to be with you. ” 

It’s so sweet and yet almost makes me feel embarrassed. It feels like he adores me and I don’t really get that emotion for lovers (but this is my stuff)!  But does he adore me because I’m me or because I’m white? I have always felt a lot of energy coming  from the men in the area but I didn’t know why.  I guess it’s the hair?

“I hope you don’t mind I hold onto you real tight so they all know you’re with me” he asked me. I just laughed of course I didn’t mind. I used to do the same to my ex husband when I saw woman checking him out. Is this a status thing? Why would it matter if he was dating a blonde?  Does this somehow make him more important in the Hispanic community ? Or is it less about being blonde and more about being white and not what he calls “brown”?

Seriously, what is all of this? Why do we have to be treated differently based on our physical traits. If any of the men I hang out with deserve everyone’s respect it’s SF and yet I feel we are treated the worst by people when I’m with him.  It saddens me that we haven’t really come that far in the war against racism. I guess I should be thankful that he and I are even able to be Friends without fear. But then again can we?  

Love and care are abound everywhere people. Why not be down with being cool with love. In what ever form that takes. I wonder how I would be treated if I was seeing a woman?

Oh well it was just another intro-perspective day in LoLa-Land 


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan