I’m Becoming A Nut For Coconut

There are certain foods that I hated as a child that I simply love now. Since our taste buds change every seven years this makes sense to me.  I used to hate popcorn, asparagus, Mexican food, lime anything, Cocunut, and  avocados; to name a few. I now love them all, except avocados; I still don’t like those.  

But, when it comes to Cocunut I am a huge fan now and not just for eating.  I love to use coconut in so very many different ways. A long time ago, a good friend of mine told me she used Cocunut oil as a lubricant during sex.  It is all natural and taste good.  It doesn’t work well with toys but I’ve employed its usage for that a few times and found it very nice.  

Another friend who is my age was looking really young to me and I said, “you look great honey, your older than me and you smoke; what’s your secret?” 

“Coconut oil” she responded. ” I put it all over my body” 

I didn’t start using it until I realized the lotions I was using was filled with chemicals.  I’ve been using it as my dailie moisturizer for about a year now and I’m very happy with how my skin feels.  I also save a fortune on body creams. 

I love to eat it to. I make a smoothie every morning and I HAVE to have shredded coconut in my smoothie. If I don’t have little chunks of coocunut to chew on as I suck down my veggie and fruit concoction, I’m not satisfied.  I love it, it actually brings me joy. 

Now I’ve started a new work out routine that comes with a diet plan and one thing they feel speeds up your metabolism (which helps burn fat) is drinking 1 to 2 tablespoons of coconut oil a day . 

Today I discovered the most amazing coconut chips.  Sun dried coconut in coconut milk, with a bit of sugar added. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.   I want to go get more because I already ate the entire bag!

I guess you could say I am nuts for coconut. I can’t think of another use for it but I’m sure there’s something I’m not thining of.  It’s one of those items that I would want to be stranded on a deserted island with.  

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Saying NO

Lately a lot of my friends have been faced with the inability to provide all of their kids hopes and dreams. And though I agree with the philosophy that we spoil this generation of kids by always saying yes to all their wants. Always having trophies and party gift bags for everyone whether  they  won or not gives them the feeling of entitlement. Or by  being overly sensitive to bullying and mental abuse that we tend to coddle our children. Now we seem to have a number of young  adults who simply can not handle the “real world”.   Are we creating a world of pussies?  Will the workforce just shut down because no one is prepared for ridicule or criticism (which we get all too often in the workplace.) 

I don’t want to see a world where everyone is so scared to say or do anything for fear they might hurt someone that they don’t say anything at all ever. Which I feel would only cause more lonliness in this world.  I imagine socially the world  would be harmonious unless your upset about something and then it would be quite binding emotionally. 

But, when the idea of saying no to your child with regards to something that could potentially change the course of their lives in a good way, for parents it can feel very handicapping. They want to provide everything for their children (and yes some parents give to much) but for those who simply can’t because of financial restraints is almost devestating. 

What it must be like for these parent to hear things like, “your son is brilliant he can have his pick of colleges. But no, we’re sorry, he simply doesn’t qualify for any scholarships”. 

Or

“She has a talent that she was born with. If she could get a trainer to work with her a bit more and keep her focused, she could be on Broadway. She’s that good!  She just needs proper training”.  

How much is a trainer? 

“Only $150 an hour and she would need 3 hours a week at least.”

I guess it’s all part of life.  Not only for the kids but the parents as well.  A lesson in not being able to have everything you may want for the kids or having to work to get it themselves. For the parents, a lesson in humility because they suddenly can’t provide for a perfectly good need that their child has. 

Some Men

The men they come and go
Some showing interest, some not
Some are all about the show
Just to see what it is I’ve got

Some men want more of me
Some men don’t want a thing
Some talk of us being destiny
Others just want a fling

Some say they are only looking for love
Some say that they want a relationship
Some want a signal from up above
Some are looking for physical companionship

Some times they like me enough to stay
Sometimes I just want them to leave
Some men are so fun I want to play
Some men are so boring I fall asleep

Some men I want to get to know
Some men are a pure mystery
The men they come and they go 
In the end it’s always just me

Vagina Vagina Vagina

I laughed so hard tonight during dinner. I went and hung out with my nieces because my sister and her husband had “a thing”, which was just fine with me. I love my nieces with all my heart and hanging with them makes me feel young again. 

So, the three of us are sitting at their table and the oldest starts talking about how she loves to dance but how it  really sucks when she has her period because you can see the pad from behind when she bends over. As my Neice went on in great detail about her pad woes, even getting up to show us how you can see it by bending over next to me at the table; my yongest Neice who is just now “blossoming” was slowly shrinking into her coat and under the table. 

It’s kind of obvious to everyone in the family that she is very uncomfortable  in her skin right now. she doesn’t like what’s happening to her body and wants to stay a kid (I kind of don’t blame her). I could tell she clearly wanted her sister to shut up and usually she tells people to change the subject whenever sex, bodily functions, body parts, blood or spiders comes up in conversation; but this time, she said nothing.  My oldest Neice just kept going (no doubt because she knows it drives her little sister crazy) about how her boobs were sore and her vagina aches. 

I looked at the blossoming girl and I said, “I’m really shocked you haven’t said anything? Usually by now you’re telling everyone to change the subject or to shut up, what’s up? You feeling ok?”

“It’s just implied at this point” was her response. (Did I mention she’s 12 and brilliant). 

I turned back to my oldest Neice and said, “my vagina feels like I got kicked really hard when I’m on my period”. When I looked back at my young Neice she had a very irritated disciplining look on her face.

“Look I know you expected me to squash this discussion because you’re embarrassed by it” I confided in her, “but what’s happening to you happened to everyone and you have no reason to be embarrassed. There’s nothing wrong with Talking about vaginas and penis, menstruation or dare I  say masturbation”.   

“What’s that”? She interupts and all I could think was, my sisters going to kill me!

“Well skip that one for now” I said just knowing the answer would clean that one right up (haha not) “but talking about these things in family with just woman is not a bad thing. You don’t have to feel embarrassed. Open up talk about how you’re doing!”

“Uh yeah no. Thanks anyway” she quickly said.

The older Neice chimes in with her very supporting and loving big sister guidance once again, “look I’m going to get you an alarm clock that every time it goes off its going to say, VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!!”  

I was dying, I asked, “what if we set her iPhone ring to say VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA”? 

At this point my yongest Neice was pounding her hand against her head asking “why !! why!!”  I don’t think she really wanted to know why we wanted “Vagina” to be her alarm setting.  I think she was wondering “why” she was a part of this family.  

Just another comical night with the girls in LoLa-Land

Is It Hot In Nordstroms?

One of my friends Is going through “the change” and since she is one of my best friends she is being nothing but completely candid with me about her symptoms or what she thinks about her symptoms. She even tells me what she thinks about menopause, anyone who doubts the changes that it takes on a woman or anyone who just looks at her wrong. I’m telling you… It ain’t all that pretty.

I am four years younger then her and though I’ve been in “early menopause” for about a year now I am not struggling with even a quarter as much as she is with regards to menopausal challenges. I feel so sorry for her and So scared for myself at the same time. Is this my future that I get to look forward to?  Waking up three to four times a night completely drenched in sweat?  Having to change my clothes and sheets and still sleep on the other side of the bed because the mattress is wet too? Shall we need to bring on the rubber sheets again?  I remember how loud those were to lay on as a child; I can’t imagine what they must sound like to an aging adult? 

My friend said to me one day as she was ready to blow her head off for no real good reason, “menopause is like being pregnant, having your period and PMS all at the same time”!   

I just looked at her horrified at the thought  I’m thinking to myself (well someone just kill me now!) she goes on, “you bleed two weeks out of the month.  So you’re going through PMS every two weeks. You get like one good week. Then you have the night sweats and achy body like your pregnant and irritability like noones business and bloating. Trust me LoLa it sucks!  One day I got a hot flash and I felt like my eyes were burning from the Inside and they were going to pop right out of my head!  I’m worried about summer. If it’s hot and I have a hot flash I may just blow up from the inside out”. 

She was all fired up so she just kept going some more. 

” I mean I was hot in Nordstroms! Nordstroms! Is it hot in Nordstroms?” She asks us. 

I was just cracking up.  I felt so bad for her but she was killing me with her rant. I loved listening to her because it made her feel good to let it out and talk about it and the venting was even making her laugh. So again She says, “Do you think  Nordstoms is hot”? 

“No! No it’s usually cold in there to me” I respond.  She’s right it is cold in Nordstroms but she was so hot she had to leave for fear she may burst into flames. 

I don’t know what to do to help her besides just being there for her and always listening to her. I hope that when my turn comes she will be as she is now to me, like my big sister at times, and help guide me threw this rocky hormone induced Body Snatcher we call Menopause. 

It’s just another hormone infested day in LoLa-Land

Real Deal

I’m writing this down before I forget
Forget to tell you just how I feel
Yours is a love I will never regret
To me it is the only “real deal”

I am thankful everyday for your wonderful face
I see you in my dreams at night
Changing the visions to beauty and grace
Turning the landscape from dreary to bright

I think of you when first I wake
Hoping to see your bright blues soon
I know with you I don’t need to be fake
You will love me know matter what I do

I feel your heart when you’re not with me
I feel it surround me in sunshine
I know that you may not say much but you see
You notice the things people leave behind

You care more for others than you do yourself
As You strive for your own greatness
You worry about everything and everyone else
As you scatter about life in great lateness

You’re a light Hearted soul
who’s been around awhile
You care more then you know
you bring joy with just your smile

I feel blessed each day I get to love you 
My life has been more rewarding with you in it
Making you happy is all I want to do
Your soul’s a blessing and I’m thankful to know it

His Secret BlogĀ 

We can’t talk but through his secret blog
His woman won’t let him even speak to me
I guess being friends is considered wrong
It’s a situation that leave me feeling empty

I find out how he is from his speratic posts
Trying to decipher his ramblings
The way we stay in touch is like passing notes
Us having time together is not happening

It drives me crazy not spending time with him
Just finding out how he is from the Internet
There’s a distance between us that will never end
As long as his lover controls our commitment

He writes in his secret blog just for me
He tells me all of his woes
I can’t react to him just simply read
what he writes about is all I know

He writes about how much he misses me
He writes about his travels
He writes about how he is physically
How he sees it all unravel

It makes me feel small that this is all we’ve become
Words on a page is all I get from him
We’ve become so much less then our sum
In the end his woman is the only one who wins

As hard as I try to pretend he is dead
As much as I try to not read his words
“How is he now” comes into my head
As we live our lives in different worlds

Men Get Strung Out On Love To

We are all so quick to blame the woman for being pathetic or emotional when it comes to being in love and or ” like” with someone and the guy dosent feel  the same way. You know the situation? When some chick is really digging a dude and he’s just not that into her.  He ends up walking away (or never walking in) and she is just devestated.  She had wrapped all of her hopes up in what could have been their future life. I know women do this because I have done it myself a few times.  
But, men get strung out on love to. When they are really digging someone it seems they can get just as devastated and pathetic as woman do.  Recently I’ve come Accross a lot of this type of man. The ones who feel way more affection for me then I do for them. (Who knows maybe it was all a ploy to get me in their beds; either way it didn’t work). One guy was calling me his girl and I was thining to myself, “we’ve been on three dates.  I have some friends I’ve been dating for over a year, they don’t assume I’m their girl”.  

Then there was the guy who wanted me to stop dating other people and just be his after our second date.  I still felt like I barely knew him. So, deciding to be in a committed relationship with a stranger felt like insanity to me.  

Now this week we have a man who started flirting with me on Facebook. We went to school together and he graduated the year before me. His Highschool pictures were horrible but his pictures now seemed good.  But, as I spoke to him, the more became aware of more things that simply didn’t work for me. He lives in hour away. He doesn’t drive. He doesn’t work and he drinks a lot. All of those aspects are huge negatives and probably just having 1 or 2 of these would be a deal breaker for me. But four negatives;no way!!!

So I politely canceled our upcoming date with over a weeks notice. Because sadly I  have no interest in meeting him now given what I know of him. But, he took it very hard.  Said I was playing him and that I hurt him.  I said, “we have never met.  We have talked on the phone one time. And have only been texting for four days. What exactly did i do that has you feeling played and so hurt?”

“I just wish you would give me a chance.” He replied “I really like you and your beautiful. I thought we would really click”.  

All I kept thinking was, “how has he become so bonded with me in such a short period of time. It creeps me out a bit. It reminds me of two days prior when he said something about me being “his woman” and i quickly reminded him I was not. 

I don’t think getting strung out on the idea of love is a single sex emotion. I’m sure it’s not even just a human emotion. I guess It is just new to me to experience  men having this reaction.  Not that I think less of men for it, rather I think more of woman; because now I see  it’s just a natural response.

Just another single Woman curiosity in LoLa-Land 

I Give You Permission

Recently while on a date with a man I’ve gone out with maybe a half a dozen times or so, the topic of conversation became our seeing other people.  

“I don’t see other people” he told me. 

“Well I told you from the get go, that I do. I hope you understand that I’m staying like this until I know I’ve met Mr right” was my reply. 

Looking at me suspcisously he says to me, “ok I will give you permission to see other men until I sweep you off your feet” he said and kept going, ” but you can not fuck them and you have to tell me everything about the date when you get home” he said laying out his parameters to me. 

Permission? You give me permission? Hold up. Did I not just say I’m single? I don’t believe there is a single soul I need to answer to in this situation, permission? Then I thought to myself,  even if I was in a relationship if something came up and he said to me “ok I give you permission …..” (To do whatever) I would probably move out.  Permission? ( I’ve been down this road before with mates. I don’t want to play this game again).

We all have a mind of our own and a will of our own right? Shan’t we use it on our own? I would expect a lover or boyfriend to tell me what greviances he may have about something I’m doing So we could discuss it. I am always willing to compromise in any relationship but not to the extent where I have no voice of my own. 

I refuse to be in a relationship where I feel like I have to answer to someone else.  Or fall in line with some rules that someone else has bestowed on me. I know this works for some people. Hell, my ex has his balls in one of the biggest “girlfriend vices”, I’ve ever seen. And he can never seem to get any time to himself at all. Yet, I don’t feel sorry for him because he allowed her to control him and I imagine still does. It’s almost like being parented by your lover when they say they, “give you permission” to do something.

I think this type parenting is a turn on to some people. I think some are just lost and don’t know who they are or how they fit in and they need someone to spoon them the answers so that they have something to hold on to wether it’s theirs or not. (Almost reminds me of some religious fanatics)  It’s sad really because I would imagine that at some point these people who allow to be parented by their lover, will wake up and realize one day, that everything in their world is something their significant other wanted and everything they do is what their lover wanted to do. All of their friend are their lovers friends.  And they don’t like any of it. Because none of it is about them or for them. And then what? 

What will the parent due if the lover becomes disobedient? 

Leave?   

Oh well. That’s what my date did after I told him what I felt about his permission. 

Friday Night Funk

I don’t know what it is but lately come Friday night I am just beat. I haven’t scheduled a date on that night in a really long time because I’m not in the mood to become ” date worthy”.  

I don’t want to rush home. So that I can quickly shower, find something attractive to wear, fix my hair and face then put on  heals. I have no energy to Then go out to a dinner and movie or activity until 11pm at night. It’s just more then I have the will for on Friday nights.  

Lately, (and I don’t know if it’s this new regimen I’m on) I just want to hang out with friends or my “maintenance man” at my house or theirs and be chill. I want to get something to eat and either bring it home or go home directly afterwards. What I really want to do is throw off my shoes, rip off my bra, jump into my PJ’s, grab a glass of red wine and watch some TV with a lover (in a perfect world he would be rubbing my feet), because I’m just so damned tired.  

Maybe I’m just getting older? Maybe I’m working myself to hard? Maybe I’m just adjusting  to not having bread in my life? Maybe it’s all three? All I know is, that for a while now since I’ve been single, I don’t dread being home alone on a Friday night (even though I prefer to be with friends).  I don’t feel like there’s a bunch of great things going on that I need to be a part of.   I don’t have FOMO and feel like I’m missing out.  I’m grateful for the secure roof, warm home, cable, full fridge, Internet and my ability to enjoy it all. 

Hope you all had a relaxing Friday night. 

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan