Another One Bites The Dust

Things got a bit racially heated on my date last night. He is a Hispanic man in his 40’s and he was talking about a African American woman at work. Telling me how he had been trying to bug her all day (lord knows why?). He then says, after razzing her for hours she started to do things that annoy him. (All I could think was, “this does not sound like a healthy work environment”). I said, “well I kind of don’t blame her, if you had been razzing her all day. What did she do that was annoying?” I ask. 

He says to me “she was annoying me by  talking like a white girl”. 

Now I realize he was just venting about his day at work and he had been having issues with co workers all day but hold up, what? 

“What does A white girl sound like” I asked?  While trying to calm down the hairs that stood up on the back of my neck and saying a little mantra in my head, “be chill honey bunny. Be chill!”

“Oh you know” he says, “LIKE OH MY GOD!!”  and he proceeds to sound like a valley girl from the 90’s.  (Yes, valley girls were typically white upper class girls however they are more defined by  location and era. I haven’t heard woman talk like that, only girls in the early 90’s). 

I said to him, “obviously she got to you, her razzing worked but maybe you deserve it for picking on her?” I asked and then went on,   “But you know, now you’ve just offended me”?

“What? No no I didn’t offend  you” he said as he patted my hand like I was some child who needed to be calmed down. “you’re fine you are not offended”, he proceeded to tell me how (I guess he thought) I should be feeling;  which of course only made me feel patronized and that never makes me happy.  

I calmly replied, “So, you wouldn’t be offended if I was bitching about someone doing something annoying to me and said, ‘oh he was doing that totally annoying thing that Hispanics do!’ how would that make you feel?  How would you feel if something ‘annoying’ was being compared to your sex and race. If Something annoying was essentially being compared to you”?

He laughed and said, “oh yeah, yeah” and then started laughing again and went on “I don’t mean  you” . Then under his breath he said, “but it’s true. That’s how they sound.  And she was driving me crazy with it”. 

I can’t say if valley Girls were or are only white? I assume most of them were or are. But, I know a lot of white woman and I am one,  none of us sound like that. I was still offended but I felt it best to just shut up and drop it or it was going to be an ugly evening.  I understand that this may all be a misunderstanding and be contributed to a language barrier. But, I also know this was not the first time he had completely pissed me off and it seemed he pisses off his coworkers a lot too. Being angry at a partner is not what I need in my life. 

It was a long night.  Most of my time was spent looking around at all the exits wondering which one was closest, in case I need to make an quick getaway.  (No, not really) But, sadly I did cut the date short and was relieved when he left. 

It was yet another frustrating night in LoLa-Land (seems to be going around lately). 



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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan