Sleep Abuse 

For a week solid I slept with someone else. I wish it was a sexy man with big arms and big…. Anyway, that was not the case.  I slept the entire time with one of my sisters kids so not only did I not get some hainky-painky, I had to sleep with clothes on (which I hate)! 

Now, I have been a monogamous kind of woman most of my life. These last two years have been the longest I’ve ever been single. So, needless to say I am used to having a man sleeping next to me. I have spent more nights next to a man than alone. With that said I have experienced the full range of sleeping issues from snoring so loud the mattress would vibrate, sleep walking, talking (which is just a form of sleep walking), farting. Hell, I’ve even been pee’d on. But, I have got to say, none of that prepared me for sleeping with either of my sisters kids.  

I spent most of the time With the youngest who is 11.  She would keep to her side of the bed as she was falling to sleep which was nice. However, she was absolutely traumatized when I tried to come to bed in just a tank top and underwear.

“Auntie where are your pants?!” She demanded. 

I tried to reason with her that my outfit was no different from what i would wear to the beach but she was adamant. “Put some shorts on!” 

Then she would proceed to wake me up every single night at least twice, doing any one of the following things: elbowing me in the back, kicking me, pulling my hair or by making a weird slurping noise like she was sucking her moms tit still. On the last night I was so exhausted from getting 6 days of shit sleep that when she woke me up Trying to push me off the bed with her feet, I actually started to whine and kind of lost my shit. “Katherinnnnnneee. STOP! Please! Or I swear I’m kicking you out of this fucking bed!” 

Not knowing why I was so upset she just rolled over and went back to sleep. 

I got to sleep with my oldest Neice for two nights in the middle of our trip and was almost relieved to get a break from the nightly beating I had been getting from her little sister. Much to my dismay sleeping with her was not that much better.  She would click the entire night. I have no idea how she does this, her mouth doesn’t move at all yet the sound similar to that of a ticking clock, ricochets off every wall in the room. Then she would posture in her sleep. She would strike a weird pose with her arms outstretched or elbows and knees up and just freeze like that.  Her body would be rock hard set in what ever position she was in.  It was like sleeping next to someone with rigor mortis. It was the most insane thing. She is a dancer so maybe she was literally striking a pose? I don’t know?

All I know is I couldn’t wait to get back home to my own magnificent oversized bed. I knew I would enjoy every moment of my naked solitude and end up sleeping completely spread equal in the middle of my mattress, just because I can!  Don’t you know that is exactly what I did. And when I woke up this morning after a full night sleep, I went right back to sleep for another three hours because I needed the sleep so badly. 

Just Another Vacation in LoLa-Land 


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan