Fat That’s Phat

This morning was a typical morning for me, in that I woke up and started working out. Lately I’ve been watching a show called “My 600lb life” during my workouts. I find the show almost inspiring to Keep moving my ass and not let myself ever get morbidly obese again.  I feel so bad for the people being interviewed and I know how easy it is to turn to food when we are going through hard times. You see the over weight people in their normal day. They are usually eating way to much and barely able to move. You want to take all the food from them and yell at whom ever the  enabler is that’s feeding them to “knock it off! It’s a hard show to watch.  

You see them lose weight and start to live again. You see their faces light up when they start to be able to do normal tasks most humans find basic, like using the bathroom.  I remember after losing my weight, feeing like, I can say “yes” to going to the beach because I can make it up and down the hillside or not being afraid to go to an amusement park because I may not fit on the ride again.  

One woman talked about being the largest person in a store and how embarrassing that was for her. How people would stare at her. I remember thinking those exact same things. I remember being at Bunko and thinking, ” I am the fattest woman here”. Or feeling like everyone was judging what I ate or what I was buying from the grocery store, because of my weight.  

Today when I turned the tv on there was a new channel (new to me), called “vice”.  They were playing a show about “feeder and feedies”. These are people who get off sexually from either being fed or feeding someone. This particular show was about one couple and she was the feedie. She was beautiful and big. Just reaching 300lbs and proud of it.  Her boyfriend (who was quite good looking) was a normal size man; gets off on feeding her food. He would rub her large belly as she ate and it turned him on. She was excited by her belly. She loved to rub it too.  She had a New Years resolution to get to 400lbs by the end of the year and eat a King Kong pizza in one sitting.  

I was floored as I watched her rub her own belly, expressing how proud she was of it.  I was happy for her that she loved her size and was happily eating her way to the larger size she longs for but I wondered to myself, “when will it stop? When will she be happy with her larger size?  Will she be able to stop eating as much? Or will her stomach be so big that she has to keep eating and eating (like the people in the “600lb” show do, just to feel full)?  When is enough, enough?” 

My mind was spinning from the two  extremes. I would rather us all be happy with ourselves and our lives and so I found the woman who was a feedie quite refreshing and a bit amazing because she is so the opposite of most woman I know who are constantly trying to lose weight.Wouldn’t  it be nice to eat whatever we want to and love our size no matter how big?  But, I know from personal experience what it’s like to carry around 350+ pounds everywhere you go, it’s draining.  I can’t imagine what 500 or 600 feels like? And as much fun as this woman is having right now, I have to wonder that at some point she’s going to start to feel the drain of Her weight on her bones and wish she maybe hadn’t been so motivated to gain weight.  When will she think she’s maybe too fat and not just phat? 

Just another phat day in LoLa-Land


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan