An 8 There 3 Here 

There’s something that’s been very depressing for me during my yearly birthday trip this year.   In my drive to get the best of the best of the best, I’ve managed to make myself acutely aware of the fact that I’m not at my best.   Being at this amazing hotel, surrounded by such stores as Dior and Graff, I have also surrounded myself with the very rich people who can afford such stores.  But, this post is not  about feeing depressed about my economic status.  I’ve been all to aware of my financial ceiling for awhile now and I’ve grown accustomed to it.  No, what’s been depressing me is not the fact that, I can’t buy myself a $4000.00 dress but rather The fact that, all the people I’m   surrounded by here are beautiful!!!

They all have amazing bodies and beautiful clothes. Even when They are hardly wearing anything, instead of looking trashy they look stunning. I’m not a lesbian and yet I found myself admiring many of the woman I have seen here.  I don’t know if I want to fuck them or be them?  I’m not sure if having money makes you beautiful or if being beautiful helps you make more money? But, I know money definitely helps you stay beautiful. 

I can’t afford a personal trainer.  A weekly spray tan or manicures. I can’t afford to have a chef make all my well balanced meals to keep me in good shape.  I can’t afford the plastic surgery or Botox that some people have done.  All of these things keep you beautiful. Then you add in really well made clothing and the availability to chose from an ample selection, and you have all the people I am surrounded by.  In this hotel I’m a 3, maybe?  

My girlfriend and I walked down the strip to a nearby hotel because it has a crazy ride we wanted to go on. As soon as we walked you could tell it was probably a cheaper hotel then the one we were staying in because the decor looked dated and wasn’t nearly as impressive. The stores are more like “$10.00 everything”. But, what struck me as interesting more than the old decor, is the fact that the patrons were not so pretty.  There were fat people, ugly people, half naked people that looked like whores and a lot of bad hair and style choices.   

As I looked around I saw unattractive men checking me out and I realized, “hell in this place, I’m a 8!”  In this place there was far less perfection and far more every day normal.  I actually said to my girlfriend, “hell girl of we had stayed here I probably could have gotten laid”!  Whereas, where we stayed, the beautiful men didn’t bother even looking my direction because there was so very much more impressive Eye candy for them to focus on.  The very last thing I wanted to do was to take my cratered size 14 ass and put it in a bathing suit next to all of these size 0, 1’s and 2’s running around in thongs.  The idea of it actually horrified me. 

What’s a girl to do in this situation? Should I only stay in the crappier hotels because I will then feel better about myself? Continue to stay in nicer hotels because…. Hello; they’re nicer? Or do I suck it up and finally realize at the ripe old age of 43, that I am who I am and I have nothing to feel embarrassed by?  I guess we will just have to see what road I decide to take.

Just another awareness day in LoLa-Land

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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan