So funny story – in June of 2016 my extended family and I went to San Diego. My nieces and I went shopping one day and my oldest niece had her iPhone stolen. (Not funny I know). Well, fast forward to two weeks ago while I was in Mexico when a woman (we will just call her asshat to protect her identity) from Illinois contacted me on WhatsApp asking me if I know My niece. I was confused and said “yes why?” Asshat- I purchased her phone on eBay and I need her Icloud password!

Me- that phone was stolen

Asshat- no it isn’t I have a recite (believe it or not this was her spelling for receipt not mine) it cost me $100!

Me- my niece is a minor with no credit card. No eBay account that phone was stolen at the mall. 

Asshat- who stole it? (OMF really?)

After much dialogue with her we decided she would contact eBay and report the phone stolen and get in contact with my mom (because I’m in Mexico, she purchased the phone and my sister has no time to deal with it). My Mom then confirmed with eBay that all she had to do was turn the phone into the police and she would get her money back. Meanwhile, asshat calls my mom and says, “I will not be taking it to the police station. You can send me $112 and I will send you the phone.”

My mom who has even less tolerance to bullshit me or my sister do, hung up. (There will be no ransom paid here!). Her and her friend Randy then sleuthed the web and found out (given the info we had) that Asshat lives in a small town in Illinois but used to live in San Diego! (Shit just got real). Oh and that she’s on “sugar-babes” which is a website looking for rich men.  (We have a real winner here!) 

My mom contacted the police in Mrs Asshats town and spoke to the sergeant (we think there’s only one) before they closed at 5pm (not kidding) and he said he actually knew Mrs Asshat, but he could not just ask for the phone, he would need a police report filed to be able to get a warrant. So, the next biz day my mom goes to the police dept in our city and files a report. I believe the conversation with the police went something like this,

Police – “ma’am you really want to file a report on a 2014 (or 2015 I can’t remember) refurbished I phone”? (Totally scratching their heads in like “what the Fuck” Style). 

Mom- “yes! I don’t like being messed with and I’m retired and have tons of time.” She says proudly “Plus I have a sergeant willing to deal with it”.    

The cops look at her like really? 

Mom- “yeah I think he’s the only sergeant and they close at five”.   

Our police got a good laugh and said “ma’am you would need proof of purchase and a serial number”. 

Wouldn’t you know my mom had all of that because she originally purchased the phone! (Hello, SUPER GRANDMA!! Do you all have this info on your phone?). So, my mom files the report and sends it to the bored sergeant in Illinois. Where he has actually found a judge willing to order a search warrant for this $100 phone. (We think Mrs asshat was already on their radar for something else. Who knows, maybe this is  like a Al Capone tax evasion thing). The sergeant got the detective (as in we think there is only one) to go and deliver the warrant. 

Meanwhile Asshat has texted my mom something about “send me some money damn”! (Really?! Are you f’ing kidding me lady?) my niece said Asshat kept changing my nieces iCloud picture to a picture of herself with my nieces name and my niece kept changing it back. 

Well, yesterday the warrant was served and the phone was retrieved and it will be sent back to my sister asap. Unfortunately they were not at liberty to share Mrs Asshat was arrested or not but Justice has been served! 

We are all thankful for my mom! thankful for the low crime rate in this one town of Illinois and that people don’t get away with messing with my family (especially not when they are retired!) 


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Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan