Hidden Talents

Went to my friends half birthday party last night.  Half, as in their birthday is in exactly 6 months and these gals use any reason they can to have a party (which is why we all get along so well). The drinks started poring at 3pm and I was drunk and sobered up a few times before I finally came home today. 

There was this man who showed up late and when he walked in he had a certain look to me. A mystery about him.  He looked like a cross between Elvis and Johnny cash. He was sporting these huge dark shades, jean jacket and wavy black hair.  His name is Jamie. After he had been there an hour and having not spoken to him yet, I struck up a conversation with him. I was walking with him down some stairs and kept getting the feeling in my gut that he was a musician.

 “What instrument do you play? I’m getting a total musician vibe from you” I said to him. 

“Really?” He laughed “I just finished a gig before I came here.  I’m a songwriter, singer and guitar player”. 

“That’s fucking hot” I replied. 

He laughed, “well maybe later I will pull out my guitar and play for you all” he said.  

“Ok” I said like an excited 5 year old. I adore live music and love when people feel they can just break out in song and display their craft.  I am always so impressed they are not to scared to put it out there.  

Later he did pull his guitar out and played for us while making us sing along.  He has a beautiful voice and has really uplifting sweet lyrics to his songs.  I totally enjoyed his inpromtu performance.

 When he was done he turned to the few of us who sat to the right of him and said “you sounded really good, a few of you can really sing.”  Then my friend David who was sitting next to all of us, said to me “LoLa! I didn’t know you could sing like that”.  I thanked him and got up and walked away.  When it comes to singing I get so incrediby bashful. 
Jamie only stayed a little while and was gone with the night but his music stayed in our souls and we all just kept singing because of him.  I was so lubricated  from alcohol and feeling accepted from previous words of encouragement around my singing; so, I just kept singing too.  It felt good to share my voice with my friends.  At some point I wasn’t scared and felt more free.  When a few of my friends left they told me I had a beautiful voice and I was so honored.  

When Jamie left I so badly wanted to slip him my number. Not because he was hot but because I wanted him to read my poems. I wanted to suggest we work together on something. I think our words and our voices would pair well together.  But, I’ve never done that before and I wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone by being such a novice.  So, instead I write to my blog about it with disappointment in my heart and feelings of another missed opportunity.  But, I still had an amazing time last night. 

Just Another crazy day in LoLa-Land


Goodbye Teacher

This weekend I had to say goodbye to the best vocal teacher I have ever had. I’m not a music major, hell I can’t even read music. But, I love to sing and when I know a song well, I can sing it beautifully. This weekend we put to rest my college choral instructor, Dr. Curtis Springer. Doc was my 6th and (so far) last choral instructor I have had.

When I heard docs choir I knew I wanted in. They sounded so amazing. Their voices would vibrate down the hall of the music building and rattle the Steele locks that hung from the metal lockers. His choir was one made up of people who desired to be musical professionals. They were made up of 80% music majors and the rest a spattering of talented people who just wanted to sing.

When I tried out for Doc I was so nervous. I had no idea what to expect. He had me sing all the chords and then look at a page of notes with no words and hum the song. That is where I bombed miserably. When we were done he looked at me and said, “that was supposed to be Happy Birthday and you didn’t even come close. I love your voice; but, I wonder if you can keep up?” With that he decided to let me into his magnificent choir on a probationary bases. On the terms that I had to sing a solo for him in front of all of the singers in a few weeks, to see if I could keep up. Being slightly insane, I gladly took the deal.

I worked my ass off for Doc. I practiced like crazy. I even let some of my classes like Biology or philosophy fall by the waste side to make sure I was perfect. When It was time for me to do my final try out in front of the class I felt like puking. I could feel their judgement on me. I sang about 35 bars from a Latin song in my first alto voice and when I was done doc walked up to me, stood right in front of me, looked me in the eyes and said, “good job”. It was probably the best day of my life (at least at that 19 year old point), and one of the only compliments he ever gave me. I can’t tell you how many times that man flared up my sensitive tummy issues.

I sang for Doc for two entire years. I sang nestled in between a swarm of opera singers and I loved every minute of it. Maybe it was his bald head that turned bright red when he was mad? Maybe it was because he threw Pencils at us when we screwed up really bad, I don’t know. All I know is he brought out the best singer in me and in all of us. I would get chills listening to us preform. He was the best choral teacher I have ever had and I consider myself lucky being a part of one of his ensembles.

His death came as very sad but unsurprising news. He had been teaching voice since the 70’s and he’d worked with me in the mid 90’s. When they called on his old singers to join in a choral performance at his funeral, I didn’t have a second thought. I knew I would struggle to keep up with the others who could perform at a drop of a hat, but I loved this man for what he did for me and as usual was willing to put my tummy through certain trials, to bring him joy, even in heaven.

There was probably about 70 people who showed up to sing. (Honestly I expected 100’s). The oldest singer was in a wheel chair and looked to be in his 80’s and the youngest (who was a daughter of another one of his students) was 14. We showed up 1 hour before the funeral and quickly went over 52 pages of music. I will admit I was a bit all over the place on the notes in some parts. But I was proud of myself for knowing when to at least sing and not to sing.

Even though doc was not there physically. And some of his old students were instructing us, I feel we did an amazing job especially considering the amount of music we had to learn and in such a short time frame. It was worth it to stress myself out one last time for him. And I hope he heard us where he is now and that he was smiling. Because we gave me chills again singing for his funeral. and I gotta hope that was him approving.

God speed Doc. Thank you so much for everything.

Dr Springer Memorial

Dr Springer Memorial

Musical Messages

Have you ever had the perfect song start playing at just the right moment? Have you ever thought to yourself, “wow, that’s so weird, that song playing right now, it fits the scenario perfectly.”

Just tonight i had A very long discussion with my ex-boyfriend. We got to some of the heart of what happened between us, and how we fell apart. We discussed some really big things and some honest truths came out, some truths that I never wanted to except. But tonight, the realism of the truth came and hit me right in the face. The reality, that he was aware of two weeks ago, that thing, that he can never change.

Right as we were finishing our conversation, the movie I was watching came to a final conclusion and a band was playing a live version of this song. All I could think to myself was, “how fucking funny is this”? I don’t believe in coincidences, so for this to be playing at that moment seemed so incredibly telling. The song is a perfect fit all the way down to the name. I hope you enjoy this musical standout, it’s an all oldie.

Johnny are you queer

Personally,I think when this happens they are just messages from our spirit guides, telling us what we need to know.

More Punk!

As usual it was another crazy weekend last weekend. Between the bowling, drinking, birthday parties, wedding showers and amazing meals, I also did a impromptu singing audition for a local garage band.

My friend asked me if I would be interested in possibly being the singer in his punk band. I’ve always wanted to be in a band, but; punk? We went to his studio and he put me in front of a microphone and gave me a page of lyrics ( just lyrics). He put the cd of the song on and said ” sing”.
I was kind of horrified and so thankful, he was the only other person there, because I had no idea what to do. I tried to explain to him, ” you have to let me hear the song a few times. Or give me some music notes. I have no idea what the timing is? I can’t just start singing with just words to go by”.

“It’s punk LoLa. You just sing it” he replied almost annoyed.

Exasperated, I listened to the song and started to hum along. He played the guitar almost from the moment we walked in the room. And kept playing while we listened to the song once, then we stared again and this time I tried to sing. When I was done he said, ” ok, ok I mean, you can sing. But, we need you to be more punk! You have to be… Rougher”.
I laughed, All I’m thinking is, I don’t even listen to punk.
“I don’t know if I can be a punk star. I’m don’t really think PUNK is in me, I mean I wear ruffles and pink. ” I said to him

He looked at me sideways for a minute and said, ” ok maybe you should do harmony then”. He pauses his playing for the first time and says, ” do you have any black leather pants?”
“really man! ?” I screeched which came out almost as a yell, because I was still next to the microphone, “have you seen my angry thighs? They eat leather pants for dinner!”

I’m not sure this being in a punk band is such a good fit for me? I haven’t even begun to think about how I would get over the stage fright enough not to SUCK! But, I do know this, I really, really liked having the microphone in my hands, I need to think about that. I have always wanted to be in a band and I’m not getting any younger. But, I am also trying to maintain my, “Fuck it I’m forty” way of being and joining a punk band fits that ideology perfectly.

Just another day for LoLa-Land

Ben Harper

Recently went and saw Ben Harper play at a near by venue. When I was married my ex and I listened to Ben’s music quite often on the weekends during chore day. His music is so poetic and so telling. His message is clear with each song. He preaches against racism and inequality. Like Bob Marley and John Lennon he speaks of change and loving each other.
I received his concert tickets as a birthday gift from the parental units and I was excited to go but had no one to go with me. I finally Asked and old friend if he’d like to go and he said yes. This man has been my friend since college and has always told me like it is. We have never been romantic in any way and I always have a blast when I’m with him. We are very similar in that we both love crowds and are always up to try something new.
While at the concert, unbeknownst to us, my old friends wallet fell out of his pocket. He had no clue it was missing until he arrived home. He texted me on his way back to the venue the next day to let me know of his pursuit and what was going on.
I felt so Bad for him. It can be so bad to lose your wallet, your identity can be stolen, your credit cards can be maxed out and your cash stolen (and he had a lot on him). But, for the last 10 years or so when I have left my garage door open, left my purse somewhere or left my iPod hanging out of my car door, no one has stolen from me. All of my possessions have either been right where I left them or someone has called me to return them. It was my hope for him that he would find the same good fortune, especially considering where we were. We were listening to a man leave his heart on the stage begging us to be good people. Hopefully the spirit passed beyond just me, because I know I felt it.
I told my friend, ” to many people in this area believe in karma! I would have turned it in or contacted you to return it. I wish you good karma”. About 20 minutes later he texted me back,
“Got it!!! There is good karma!”
I asked, “was your money there too?”
“EVERYTHING!!” He replied.
“I love this town.” I answered
I’m not sure if Ben had anything to do with my fellow neighbors honesty or if it’s just the wonderful place I live. I don’t know maybe most places are like this and we are just all so Conditioned by the horrors we see in the press, we assume the worst in everyone? Maybe it was Mr. Harper and his truth telling lyrics and poetic stances that made this anonymous person do the right thing? All I know is I was happy that my friend who pitched in and took me to a concert and treated me to a birthday dinner, did not lose his wallet or have to deal with the consequences of that.

Another great day in LoLa- Land


Today I’d like to do a shout out to another musical stand-out song. It’s a new one and I fricking love it. It incorporates so many of my favorite things: rap, a good beat, awesome rhymes, humor, bad language and the Goodwill. Ever since the divorce I have found a new found love for thrift stores. Because to be quite honest, I can afford them. I have found many great treasures and most of the clothes I wear that people comment on as being cute, are items I got at a thrift store.
ByRyan Lewis452,670,211 views

Well done gentlemen. Thanks for the laugh and the funky beat to shake my ass to.

Turning Tables – Adele

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I went out with a girlfriend last night and as we were driving home we put Adele 21 on. Having just gone through a break up with my love it seemed only too perfect to listen to. Not all of her songs always fit any break up, but there was one song that i have never really bonded with before, last night. But, Last night I sang the song so LOUD and with such purpose, my friend reached over and held my hand for a while during it.

Here it is…


Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

Evanescence – Bring Me to Life



Sara Bareiles -Gravity


Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.


I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down
You’re on to me, on to me, and all over…
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

This song has just to pretty not to post
( Don’t read more than that into me reposting it)

Somebody I used to Know

I love this song It reminds me of the “police”. I think Gotye needs to open his eyes when he performs but I like his grove.


Somebody That I Used To Know”
(feat. Kimbra)

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know



Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan