A Birthday with no Memory

I recently threw my brother a birthday party. My brother suffers from having no short term memory. He lost part of his right frontal lobe in a car accident several decades ago and I’ve helped look after him since then.

Some how arraigning his birthday party each year has become my duty. Not a task because I enjoy bringing my brother happiness. Happiness comes easy for my brother but remembering why he is happy escapes him.

This year I doubled up on the happiness factor, where normally I would bring as many family members together where he lives or at my dads house and we have cake and pizza. This year I called on my brothers best friend from high school (before the accident) and asked him if he would have time to go see my brother with me. If I took care of all of the arraignments and thankfully he jumped at the idea.

My brother was very excited to see his friend, once he found out who he was. Sadly, he did not recognize his childhood friend at first ( 20 years Can change someone’s appearance a bit). But, once my brother heard his friend introduce himself he knew right away who he was.

We took the birthday boy over to a local BJ’s where about 25 family members (these were just some of our local peeps. We come from a huge family) sat waiting for us. My brother was so excited and received everyone’s love and gifts with open arms. You would think everything was great and my brother was right there with us mentally; until he would look at his daughter, and refer to her by our sisters name. His daughter has changed from a baby to a married woman over the years but in my brothers world she is still a baby.

Normally, I would sit by my brother during these types of events and make sure his needs are met. But, with his best friend, ex wife (who in his mind is still his wife) and his daughter all there I quickly got pushed aside. Honestly, I was fine with that as long as he was happy which he was! But, they were all a bit unpracticed eating with someone with no short term memory.

Here’s why, He ordered a coffee when he first got to the table. The next time the waiter came he ordered a Coke. After he had his coffee and Coke in front of him and he saw the waiter was helping Someone else in our party, he asked the waiter for a vanilla cream soda. His cup and glass were both full. The funny thing was, everyone was talking to everyone else, so it was kind of loud and crazy. And as soon as anyone would hear my brother ask for anything, they would ask the super confused waiter to make sure the birthday boy had what he wanted.

Ordering his lunch was much the same, the waiter started with the birthday guy again and he ordered a burger. Then his ex wife ordered a pizza and my brother says,

“that sounds good I would like a pizza”.

So, they change his order to pizza. Then my cousin orders and my uncle orders while my brother starts to organize the silverware on the table around him, totally oblivious to anything else. Then it’s mom’s turn to order and she’s sitting across from her son and she wants pasta. My brother says,

“that sounds good I want pasta!”

So, my mom tells the waiter,

“make sure he gets pasta”.

I was the last to order as I am clear at the end of a mammothly long table and I ordered a burger. Suddenly, I hear my brother say,

“I want a burger!” Looking straight at me.

The waiter says to me as I’m about to tell him to get my brother a burger,

“ma’am he has already ordered three things I don’t understand what to do”?!

He says in kind of in a frantic voice. I felt so bad I normally would tell the wait staff before anyone comes. But, we were the last to arrive so obviously he was unaware of the disability at hand.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry. My brother has no short term memory. What was the first thing he ordered?” I asked him.

“Well first it was coffee, then Coke, then vanilla soda, then a burger, pizza, pasta and now a burger!” He squeaks a bit at the end and I try not to laugh.

“Ok” I say calmly, “please stop with the coffee, vanilla soda is fine but one at a time please and give him the bacon burger with cheddar for lunch. And don’t worry we will Pay for everything he consumes.” The waiter looked so relived.

The party continued with my dad running around the table pretending “to get” his two year old grandson. And the rest of us enjoy our individual conversations. Every time anyone would walk in or out of our private room, we would all cheer at high volumes their name. I could see that this made my brother laugh and a bit stressed out at the same time. He gets very stressed out easily as you can imagine. What would you do if suddenly you kind of wake up, not knowing where you are and all your loved ones are yelling someone’s name?. But, he handled it all very well.

When the food came we had all been moving around so much none of the wait staff knew what food belonged to what person. So, they would call it out

“who had the ribs”? And a cousin would raise his hand.

“Pasta and shrimp” mom raised her hand and so forth.

Every single order, my brother would answer before the person who actually ordered it,

“that’s my pizza!”

“that’s my club sandwich”!

“that’s my pasta and shrimp” (he can’t even eat shrimp).

The waiters leaving the food placed three different plates in front of my brother. As soon as I could, I would grab the plate and turn to hand it off to whom ever actually ordered it. And the wait staff would be placing another meal in front of my brother. Wouldn’t you know his and my burgers were the last to arrive. So, he sat there looking like a punished child Not knowing why everyone else gets to eat but him. Because he didn’t know if he had ordered anything.

Everyone seemed to have a great time. We had laughter and tears and my two year old nephew went home with a black eye from running into the corner or a table. My brother…

When his friend from school, my brother and I were leaving, we drove past BJ’s to get to the Hwy and my brother turned to me and asked,

“LoLa, have you ever eaten at Bj’s? I never have. I want to eat there some day”.

Like that the party was gone.

“Hey Dott” (that’s my nicname for my bro) ” look in the backseat and tell me who you see”? I told him.

He looked behind us confused and sees his childhood best friend sitting behind me and yells, “HEY JOHN!!! Hey man! I didn’t even know you were there! What are you doing here man? Hey you guys… can we go get something to eat”?….

Happy Birthday Dott I love you


Thankful Project 

This Thanksgiving I am once again thankful for my friends and family.  I fully acknowledge how valuable they are to my life and without them I would be so depressed and lost. Once again this year I am thankful my best friend Crystal. She was knocking on deaths door last year at this time but she is still alive and kicking (actually she’s doing great). I jumped on a plane to see her last year because I was so scared she would die. She was so thankful that I went to such lengths to see her and I still feel as I did then, that I would do if all again in a heartbeat; if she needed me. No thanks needed because I love her. B 

This year there is no need for me to worry about a loved one, thank goddess. But, I feel this need to do something nice for someone else.  Something that they don’t or would never expect.  Someone I may not even know. For example, Last night I was pulling a grocery cart from the long stream of carts and when I turned with my cart to walk into the store; I noticed the elderly woman waiting for me to move. She looked so weak and she was so small. I had to give the cart quite a pull to release it from the rest of them.  It occurred to me that act might be a tough job for her.  So, I gave her my cart. She was shocked and thanked me A few times. It cost me nothing but a few seconds and a little bit more energy.  It was just a simple act for me and yet for her it could have meant a night free from a sore shoulder or back. 

This all got me thinking that I wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  I hope everyone finds at least one if not all of the following to happen to them today.  I hope you all get to spend some quality time with people you love.  I hope you all get to experience some kind of delightful meal whatever that meal is for you. I hope you all able to acknowledge something you’re thankful for in your life. Mostly, I hope you all come up with a plan to do something for someone you don’t know that they can be thankful for.  

I’m throwing down the gauntlet right now. I’m asking each of you, if you are willing to participate?  Wether it be for a day or for one month (or longer), I want you all to try and do one nice act for someone you either know of don’t know that will make them feel thankful for you.  These don’t have to be monetary things or even a physical act of any kind, it can be verbal. Just saying something to someone that will bring them a little more joy to their day is all I ask of you. Go big or go small, it doesn’t matter, just do something.

Then spread the word. Tell people you are doing the “Thankful Project” and that all you have to do is one unexpected kind thing a day for someone else and that you then you have to tell someone. That way you are owning and taking pride in your thankful act. Because no matter how small it may be you should feel good for just even trying to bring more joy to someone else. Tell me if you want to, I would love to hear your stories. It will just bring me more joy to know others are happier. 

If the people you tell about the “thankful Project” want to join tell them they can at anytime for as long as they want. It can be one day or forever.  We do not discriminate and accept all who want to do it.  I know this is not a new concept but What I am asking you all is to make it an active thought each day until it is accomplished. I am vowing to start for one month. From now until Christmas i want to do one nice thing a day for someone else. My hope is I will want to just keep it going even after the month is up.  My hope is it will spread like wild fire and start to consume us all in joy and thanks. Right now I think we can all use some. 

Ok who’s in?

Up Up and Away

I had yet another sweet invite this weekend. I actually had two, but I only did one of them. Friday night one of my girlfriends hosted a birthday party for me and two other girls. It was a sleepover girls night, with hot tub option. Saturday night, one of my college friends invited me to another girls night at her parents cabin at the top of a mountain in Sonoma County.  I had already rsvp’d to the Saturday event so instead of spreading myself too thin, I only went over for dinner and drinks Friday night and when all the girls were about to jump in the hot tub,  I left.  

On Saturday, the drive to the cabin was a bit hairy i’m not going to lie. It was often times straight up or very steep and windy road.  It had also rained off and on all that day; so, the very dry rock walls on one side,  were giving way and there was a lot of rocks on the wet road.  To make things even worse the fog was coming in faster then I could drive and at certain times, I was surrounded by whiteness.  It was both breathtaking and horrifying at the same time. 

I was thankful to finally reach the cabin. It is the last property located at the very top of a mountain. It’s a hodgepodge of different doors and windows, as each decade the family has made additions to the exsisitung one bedroom cabin. Now it houses two bedrooms, a large kitchen, living room with dining area, a loft and a 180degree wrap around porch. It’s totally funky and exactly what I would expect from her family. 

She said every time someone in the family remodels or gets rid of anything they bring the old stuff to the cabin. So the windows and front door are all from their grandmas house and their furniture is all castoffs from the extended family.  

I felt so blessed to be able to have the peace and quiet of the cabins blissful surroundings (even if I got more grey hairs driving there).  The fog lowered enough so that we were able to sit under the covered porch and watch the sunset. 

We barbequed everything we brought. We barbequed the steaks and squash, to go with the pasta and salad for dinner. Then we barbequed dates wrapped with chease and bacon (holly hell can I get a witness,  that shit is good). Then we actually grilled on foil, organic Oreos and granola with chocolate on top. It was one of the yummiest meals I had in awhile. I had a blast, we all laughed and giggled all night. I slept like a log and when I woke up, I saw this. 

It was heaven. I do so have the most amazing friends! 

Just another fabulous weekend in LoLa-Land

Doing It Up Limo Style

My actual birthday this year fell on a very boring weekday. I of course took the day off (actually I took the week off, but I digress) so I could play.  You know me, I have to do something really cool on my actual birthday; so, I don’t get depressed. Yes, I know I just got back from Las Vegas but still had to do something on my a actual birthday. Right?

I love to go wine tasting and going up to wine country and wine tasting for free is so much fun, but someone always has to stay sober to drive home and that sucks for them. So, I thought to myself, “self,  wouldn’t it be fun this year for my actual birthday to rent a limo and go to the wine country for the day”?

One of my BFF’s and I were together when this idea came up and she instantly jumped on it (along with my “self”) and we started working it out.  Honestly she took care of everything for me. She lined up the limo, the times we would need it,  even the pick up locations. She was fantastic. She pretty much paid for it too! I put a shout out on Facebook to about 25 of my closest peeps, to see if anyone was willing to take the day off work and get drunk? 10 woman said yes to a limo wine tour.

In the end 6 of us played hookie and had a blast in the beautiful sweeping vineyards of Healdsburg and Geyserville California. It was a beautiful day. 

Again I was reminded that I am truly blessed with some of the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for.  They all paid for my lunch at Francis Ford Coppola’s restaurant, Rustic. It was so yummy, we all enjoyed ourselves immensely. 

Then it was off to several wineries where we proceeded to get more and more hammered. 

In the end I was a very bad girl and I mixed my alcohols… Again.  The consumption went something like this, secco, champagne, secco, champagne, red wine, white whine, champagne, red wine, more red wine, more champagne, two coma Cozzi drinks and one vodka and cranberry. Believe it of not; some how, I didn’t get sick?!  I did black out and I was still drunk the next morning but I didn’t  care I took that day off to. 

Just another fabulous birthday in LoLa-land

Tracey And Her Friends

I’ve written about my friend Tracey before, primarily because she’s Note worthy. I wrote an entire post called, Doing It Tracey’s Way because I found the time I spent with her so fun. So of course going to Las Vegas with her seemed like a Kick Ass idea.  We had a blast as I suspected. The first night when she wasn’t sick to her stomach, was an adventure. We did lots of walking around on the strip and even went to old strip or rather “Freemont Street” and in usual Tracey style she asked me to take pictures of her with any random type of character she could. There was one I didn’t snap a photo of because I was looking for our Uber but I did manage to get these.  

This lovely lady was in one of the door ways of our hotel; offset high up in her own little brick alcove. Tracey climbed into the cove and proceeded to pretend licking the statues private parts, while yelling at me to “take a picture!!!”  

After that she stayed a little tame which I found very surprising because…. It’s Vegas baby. Things are always heating up there.  

We had a lot of fun posing and shopping inside the Bellagio.   I think Tracey’s next boyfriend is standing behind the horse.  

She just loves the characters. I wonder if she’s a furrie Deep down?  (You Never know and I’m not judging either way). 
This one is the one I wanted a picture of.  In California there is a very strict “no open alcoholic containers in public” law. See, I was already trippen when we were leaving the restaurant and the waitress gave us both a to-go cup of our booze.  You can’t do that in California, the liquor stays in the bar or home. So, to be able to be not only walking around in public with alcohol; but, to be doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COPS!!! Well, that just blew my mind. Holly crap! I’m not going to get arrested. So, this time I asked if I could get a picture. 

No they aren’t strippers. Everyone who sees the picture now thinks that they were. But, like I told my Neice, “I’ve never been bashful about admitting when I’ve hung out with strippers before. Why would I start lying now?”  Here’s how in shock I was.  I was so giddy to be drinking I was more concerned with my cup showing in the picture that I didn’t even notice how hot the two cops were until I looked at the picture later.  

2016 Birthday Trip

It’s that time again!  It’s birthday time! Once again, I can not sit by idle, waiting for something amazing to happen to me. If I let my birthday come and go without anything special happening I get very depressed.  Like I’ve said, every year since I started this blog, “I expect a parade in my honor”.  Well every year can’t be once in a lifetime all expenses paid trips to Italy.  Or they would just be, “yeah we’re going to Italy, AGAIN” trips. 

This year I’m taking my ass to Vegas!!! I’ve never been there (well as an adult). Since  I have a goal to go somewhere new every year, I thought Vegas could be fun. I love to go on or near my birthday because it kills two birds with one stone (so to speak). I get the need to have a special birthday and visiting New place out at once. 

I don’t really know what to expect? I mean I’ve seen Vegas many times on TV but, I know enough of tv to know what you see on the screen is not what is in real life ( if you’ve ever been to Hollywood you would know this is true). I am expecting the hustle and bustle of time square and the heat of Florida. I’m expecting to love my room and I’m hoping for an amazing view.  Because I spoiled myself and upgraded multiple times to a king tower suite with a strip view. My hope is that I am not too miserable being in the desert heat.  Really I just hope that I don’t melt into a puddle of sweat on the concrete. 

We found out that the Mr. Universe completion is this weekend in Vegas. So, I’m expecting to see lots of huge big muscle men wandering around, beating their chests and flexing their thighs for anyone who asks. Should be interesting. I can’t wait. 

Just another new birthday Experiance in LoLa-Land. 


The best memory I have of him was in the pool. He was so damn tall standing at 6’6. He could walk almost the entire length of the pool with his head above water.  I would climb up Jims body in the shallow end of the pool, until I was siting securely on his shoulders, with his head nestled in between my thighs. If I ever felt like I was going to fall off I would grip his neck with my thighs and his chest with leg muscles. 

Once I was ready and holding on tight he would start to walk deeper into the pool. At this point he would be, maybe knee  Deep in the water.  Once we were no where  near any of the pool walls he would stop walking and I would proceed carefully to a standing position. Now if you can imagine this please. This was when I was about 6 to 8 years old. When I was a child I was very very skinny and a super toe-head blonde.  My little ol body would be completely exposed (to n I felt like I was flying), the earth about 7 or 8 feet away from my face, I was high!!!  (For a young girl this was really high). 

Once I was steady standing on his shoulders. With my ankles gripping his head and my toes trying to grip the loose skin around his collarbone, he would start to walk again. He would walk all the way to the deep end. As he walked he would become more and more submerged in the water. I would watch from above as the water got closer and closer,  which would bring relief to my excited heart.  Once Jim reached the deep endhe would   become completely submerged by the water and I would suddenly be in the water up to my knees. 

Jim would continue to walk us, with his head under water, all the way to the wall of the deep end.  Once he arrived to the other end of the pool from which he started, he would do one of two things. He would either turn around and stand for a minute and then tap my foot. Which told me to jump off because he was out of air. I would then leap off in some awkward half dive, half belly flop; Because, my legs were in the water already. Or he would turn and walk all the way back to the wall of the shallow end, all the while leaving me standing on his shoulders.  

During this entire stunt, He would not be holding on to me with his hands in any way and I would not hold onto him, except for with my ankles.   I used to love when Jim and I would do this. It is one of my only fond memories of him. I would only be scared up there on his shoulders when we were all the way back in the shallow end, because then I was taller then when I started and didn’t have the buffer landing of water on one side any longer.(not to mention the water was so shallow I doubt it would help that much with regards to a smoother landing. When we did this dog and pony trick of ours, we would make my mom a nervous wreck and she would sternly say his name, “jjjimmmmmm”??  All it was, was one word and yet what you heard was, “kill my daughter man and I will break you”! Other than that, she would stay in her lounge chair cool as a cucumber and just watch.  

Those were some fun moments in young LoLa-Land. 

The Sunnyside Of Life

It’s September again.  Last years septembers theme was like this. 

Italy September 2015

If you’ve followed me long you know, it’s my birthday month.  (Yes I get the entire month).  I mean I share, but I celebrate for a month.  This years September theme is like this. 

 So, last weekend I went and stayed with five woman in Tahoe. (No it’s not Italy.  But in my world Italy is just not possible every year).  We were near  “Sunnyside” (of life) in Tahoma. 

Three of the woman are some of my main peeps. One woman I had met once before and one I had never met.  We split up all the Booze and food and all were responsible for something. Me, I got most of the booze. I got a Costco size of vodka and three flavored seltzer waters for the water and soda.  I also brought four bottles of red wine and one white. One of the other  woman brought three bottles of white wine and a small vodka. Yet still, The home owner purchased a large gallon vodka while we were there because we ran out of alcohol the last day. The six of us drank all of that plus some in three days. We were the most well fed lubricated group of  40 something year old woman any of these people have ever seen. 

We ate like kings with one woman busting out some homemade tamales,  with rice and beans. Another woman making barbequed chicken and Tri-tip, with fresh from her garden tomatoes andmozzarella chease and corn on the cob. For dessert everynight we munched on anything we could dip into our dark chocolate Fondu. Marshmallows, strawberries, pretzels, apples, graham crackers al of it is amazing in chocolate. 

I had to hug the trees as they called to me all day to touch them.  I found a friend who would hug them with me.   We discussed relationship Pubic hair, kids and men all weekend. I realized as we drove my car home, that I was again so very blessed to have the friends I have to allow me to enjoy such beautiful sites with such great laughs for free. 
 I had the best time on our trip.  But when we got home, I actually had to talk to my body Tuesday when I was back at work,to remind it that, “what you’re feeling is called sobriety. You will get accustomed to it soon just have some smoothie and get a grip”. 

This is just the start to the fun I will be having this month!  Stay tuned to find out more. 

Just another fun birthday month in LoLa-Land 

If Death Came Tonight

If death came for me tonight I would not fight
I would not throw punches or try to run
I would not beg for death to come another night
I would not pretend I’m not me or act dumb

If death came for me I would not be sad
I would not beg to just be left alone
I wouldn’t scream about what little life I’ve had
Or about all the places I’ve yet to roam

If death came for me tonight I would be sincere
I would have death maybe sit a spell
I would ask death “what do you hold dear”?
Or “Death, is this reality I’m in, hell”?

If death came for me tonight I would be excited
I miss what we call “home” immensely
It would never occur to me to be frightened
I would actually go with death quite quickly

If death came for me tonight I would wonder why
“What on earth was this life all about anyway”?
“Why of all nights, is this the one I die”?
I would then wait to see what Death had to say

If death came for me tonight I’d worry for the living
My passing would be a surprise to all who know me
It would be so painful to experiance their grieving
Death sucks but it’s the way things have to be

If death came for me tonight I would be relieved
I feel like I’ve been tired this entire life
There is so much more beauty then what I’d leave
So much peace and love, never any strife

If death came for me tonight I would go in style
Ask death, “can we spin some R&B on the way out ”
I would dance towards the light with a big ass smile
Because I’m finally going to see what life is all about

Sweet Moments In Time 

Today I spent many hours with another one of my adopted families.  Another of of my BFF’s who I have known… Forever and I know all of her family members. Today she had a double graduation for her two kids. One kid graduated from Highschool and one of the kids graduated from the state college and is going to be getting a PhD at Penn state. We are all so proud of both of them, but; no one is as proud as their parents (my friend and her man). 

My friend and her hubby got up at one point to give a speech for their kids to all of us.  My girlfriend who is  very shy actually got up and read a poem she wrote, which was both so sweet and so enduring to hear.  She cried threw the entire thing, which made her hubby cry, which made her son cry, which made all of us cry and their daughter just rolled her eyes at everyone and said, “really”? 

Her husband tried to speak but was so emotional all he could get out, “was thank you for coming” (which was enough for all of us). Watching the two of them, up there infront of all of us, stating their proudness and love for their kids to all of us family and friends; I was Suddenly lost In a time warp.   It was now over 20 years earlier.  

It was suddenly May in the 1990’s sometime.  I was standing in a gazebo next to my best friends two sisters and I was wishing to god I had remembered to hide some Kleenex in my bra or something. Their were no pockets in my blue lace bridesmaid dress and all three of us bridesmaids had tears streaming down our faces.  We had been doing ok watching one of our loved ones marry her man. But, when he started to cry while professing his love for her, we all just shed the tears like crazy and lost our shit!

Behind them most of the audience was shedding tears watching them. While this couples,  1 year old son sat on grandpas Lap, just laughing and clapping; having the best time. His Parents had him just after Highschool and decided not to marry each other until they knew they loved one another enough to spend their lives together. And now 20 years later they are still loving and crying together. 

I came back to current time when everyone started to clap. I saw my friend and her hubby hold onto one another and was filled with love for them. How lucky they are to have found each other so soon in life. How lucky their kids are to have their love quide them. It was a sweet moment over 20 years ago and it was a sweet moment today. I was thankful to be a witness to both of them. 

Just another great day with my adopted family. 

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan