Fall in Black and White 


A Plight We Can All Agree On

Today’s blog is a visual one. 


So funny story – in June of 2016 my extended family and I went to San Diego. My nieces and I went shopping one day and my oldest niece had her iPhone stolen. (Not funny I know). Well, fast forward to two weeks ago while I was in Mexico when a woman (we will just call her asshat to protect her identity) from Illinois contacted me on WhatsApp asking me if I know My niece. I was confused and said “yes why?” Asshat- I purchased her phone on eBay and I need her Icloud password!

Me- that phone was stolen

Asshat- no it isn’t I have a recite (believe it or not this was her spelling for receipt not mine) it cost me $100!

Me- my niece is a minor with no credit card. No eBay account that phone was stolen at the mall. 

Asshat- who stole it? (OMF really?)

After much dialogue with her we decided she would contact eBay and report the phone stolen and get in contact with my mom (because I’m in Mexico, she purchased the phone and my sister has no time to deal with it). My Mom then confirmed with eBay that all she had to do was turn the phone into the police and she would get her money back. Meanwhile, asshat calls my mom and says, “I will not be taking it to the police station. You can send me $112 and I will send you the phone.”

My mom who has even less tolerance to bullshit me or my sister do, hung up. (There will be no ransom paid here!). Her and her friend Randy then sleuthed the web and found out (given the info we had) that Asshat lives in a small town in Illinois but used to live in San Diego! (Shit just got real). Oh and that she’s on “sugar-babes” which is a website looking for rich men.  (We have a real winner here!) 

My mom contacted the police in Mrs Asshats town and spoke to the sergeant (we think there’s only one) before they closed at 5pm (not kidding) and he said he actually knew Mrs Asshat, but he could not just ask for the phone, he would need a police report filed to be able to get a warrant. So, the next biz day my mom goes to the police dept in our city and files a report. I believe the conversation with the police went something like this,

Police – “ma’am you really want to file a report on a 2014 (or 2015 I can’t remember) refurbished I phone”? (Totally scratching their heads in like “what the Fuck” Style). 

Mom- “yes! I don’t like being messed with and I’m retired and have tons of time.” She says proudly “Plus I have a sergeant willing to deal with it”.    

The cops look at her like really? 

Mom- “yeah I think he’s the only sergeant and they close at five”.   

Our police got a good laugh and said “ma’am you would need proof of purchase and a serial number”. 

Wouldn’t you know my mom had all of that because she originally purchased the phone! (Hello, SUPER GRANDMA!! Do you all have this info on your phone?). So, my mom files the report and sends it to the bored sergeant in Illinois. Where he has actually found a judge willing to order a search warrant for this $100 phone. (We think Mrs asshat was already on their radar for something else. Who knows, maybe this is  like a Al Capone tax evasion thing). The sergeant got the detective (as in we think there is only one) to go and deliver the warrant. 

Meanwhile Asshat has texted my mom something about “send me some money damn”! (Really?! Are you f’ing kidding me lady?) my niece said Asshat kept changing my nieces iCloud picture to a picture of herself with my nieces name and my niece kept changing it back. 

Well, yesterday the warrant was served and the phone was retrieved and it will be sent back to my sister asap. Unfortunately they were not at liberty to share Mrs Asshat was arrested or not but Justice has been served! 

We are all thankful for my mom! thankful for the low crime rate in this one town of Illinois and that people don’t get away with messing with my family (especially not when they are retired!) 

Country Song

My man left me for a coffee and never came back
He said all he needed was some caffeine
He left about a year ago and didn’t even pack
It was our last sunrise in the final scene

He loaded the rifle and said no goodbyes to me
He then drove away in my new truck
He said he was gonna fire off some amo you see
I didn’t realize I was the sitting duck

My man said I was just too much to handle
Especially after they said ” “last call”
His love was just like a wick-less candle
Pretty to look at but not useful at all

My man wasn’t man enough to fill his boots
Even though He thought he was better than me
He made love as good as he shoots
He missed his target then shouted obscenities

I used to hate my man for leaving me alone
Then I saw the error of my ways
I know longer worry about if he roams
Because my aim is better than his any day

Friend Zone

“You friend zoned me”
I’m sorry I swear I like  you too
“Then give me a kiss please”
If I do what will become of you?

“I will kiss you again and again”
I wish I could believe that were true
“Why are you scared to let this begin”?
It could be amazing but I’m not new

“What do you mean sexy ?”
You’ve told me for years about your conguests
“Those relationships were all messy”
You ran away from all their interests

“They weren’t right for me like you”
You thought they were all perfect
“What are you trying to ensue”
In this room, we are the  elephant

“Don’t you want to be with me”
I love our time together you bring me joy
“Then stop being such a damn tease”
I’m not trying to be I’m sorry your annoyed

“Jump off the cliff with me honey”
Will you still be there when we hit bottom?
“We can only wish for the best and see”
Will you still be my friend in the autumn?

“Is that what this is about, our friendship”?
If we end, will you still give me hugs with pats?
“Nothing could ever come between our relationship”?
Kiss me, and we will just have to see about that

You Miss Me

It’s been so long since I last heard your voice
I wish before you said goodbye I had a choice

I can hardly remember the slopes on your lips
Gone are the tantric positions and pivoting hips

Giggling mercifully while being stuck together
I Foolishly thought you would be here forever

I miss your super-sized long lasting hugs
They always made me feel “snug as a bug”

Your hot breath blowing against forhead
While being curled up on your big comfy bed

I miss our long discussions about nothing,  really
It’s like being in a Seinfeld episode but it’s reality

Since you moved I’ve missed you so much
It actually hurts for me to keep in touch

It always hurts when I think of you
I do my best to think of something new

I wear my pain of your leaving on my sleeve
From the what I’ve heard you’ve been missing me

The Pychic Feelings

I think we all have some kind of psychic abilities it’s just a matter of wether we are able to tap into it, or not.  I’ve been trying to pay closer attention to these abilities within myself and or weird things that happen to me. 
Lately I’ve been noticing that I sometimes get a physical reaction because of other people’s energies.  I first noticed it a few years ago when I was dating a raging alcoholic. I would get physically hot when I was around him and then a bad tightness in my chest.  I now see there are more feelings and reactions. 

When I’m near someone’s who’s super happy I feel warmth. My heart and my being become warm all over. It’s lovely and sometimes I’m almost jealous of the person because I wish it was me. 

When I’m around a person who’s really unhealthy or dying, everything in me gets guiet. You could hear a pen drop in my head. (My head is alway going so silence is weird to me.) It’s almost unsettling. I myself will go inward for self preservation and become very peaceful.  Which I think is why I do well with people who are dying.  

When I’m near a person who’s really angry my chest will ache. I will feel a very bad feeling all over and my chest will just suddenly hurt, like I was punched. So when I’m around really angry people I do 1 of 3 things. 1 I will leave, 2 I will tune them out so I’m almost not listening anymore because it hurts. 3 (this is really bad) I find them humerus for what seems like a lot of negativity for no reason (even though I may not no the reason) and I start to smile and giggle.  All three techniques stop the chest pains.  

When I’m around someone who is really sad my jaw gets tight. I feel very overcome by sadness myself and all I want to do is hug the person. This one is the worst because I can’t hug strangers. So I usually have the feeling until about 10 minutes after the person has left my presence.  

When I’m fortunate to be with someone in love my heart gets warm.  It almost feels like it gets bigger and I become over joyed myself.  When someone has a broken heart my heart will actually ache and hurt with each beat until they leave. 
Add in my on emotions to my life and you can imagine what a hot mess I must be like?  Oh well, what can I do? Except acknowledge it and try recognize what’s me and what’s in my environment. 

Just another “learning as I go” kind of day in LoLa-Land

Together Forever

I can’t stop thinking about him
I hadn’t seen him in so very long
I didn’t expect to see him then
It wasn’t a place he really belonged

I was actually really excited to talk with him again
I was probably 15 the last time I did
We were in Highschool waiting for life to begin
I thought I loved him but I was just a kid

I had his name plastered all over my bookcovers
He and me “together forever” with hearts
I would hide these doodles when ever he would hover
Doodles could destroy a relationship before it starts

I would watch him ride his bike in to school
Throw his golden hair off his brow in one motion
Always wearing guess jeans because he was so cool
I was so strung out on him or on a love potion

After all these years I turn around and he’s there
Smiling down on me with those eyes so blue
My heart went bizerck but I didn’t care
“Oh my god he’s beautiful” is all I knew

I reacted just like I did when I was young
If my BFF was there I would have hid behind her
He makes me so nervous I started to act dumb
He was probably thinking “how much can I endure”?

He said he was still single
Never felt the need to settle down
I listened to him as I mingled
Being aloof is better then being a clown

I would speak to him whenever I saw him
Trying to learn as much as I could
I didn’t want our small conversations to end
But desperation is never a look that’s good

I’ve hoped he’d contact me since I saw him that night
I told him then I had crushed on him so long ago
“I crushed on you too” he said as his blue eyes got bright
I was flattered and then sad that I didn’t know

I wonder as I find myself thinking of him again
If he crushed on me then would he feel the same now
Will these torturous thoughts of him ever end
Or should I just ask him out myself some how?

Sleep Abuse 

For a week solid I slept with someone else. I wish it was a sexy man with big arms and big…. Anyway, that was not the case.  I slept the entire time with one of my sisters kids so not only did I not get some hainky-painky, I had to sleep with clothes on (which I hate)! 

Now, I have been a monogamous kind of woman most of my life. These last two years have been the longest I’ve ever been single. So, needless to say I am used to having a man sleeping next to me. I have spent more nights next to a man than alone. With that said I have experienced the full range of sleeping issues from snoring so loud the mattress would vibrate, sleep walking, talking (which is just a form of sleep walking), farting. Hell, I’ve even been pee’d on. But, I have got to say, none of that prepared me for sleeping with either of my sisters kids.  

I spent most of the time With the youngest who is 11.  She would keep to her side of the bed as she was falling to sleep which was nice. However, she was absolutely traumatized when I tried to come to bed in just a tank top and underwear.

“Auntie where are your pants?!” She demanded. 

I tried to reason with her that my outfit was no different from what i would wear to the beach but she was adamant. “Put some shorts on!” 

Then she would proceed to wake me up every single night at least twice, doing any one of the following things: elbowing me in the back, kicking me, pulling my hair or by making a weird slurping noise like she was sucking her moms tit still. On the last night I was so exhausted from getting 6 days of shit sleep that when she woke me up Trying to push me off the bed with her feet, I actually started to whine and kind of lost my shit. “Katherinnnnnneee. STOP! Please! Or I swear I’m kicking you out of this fucking bed!” 

Not knowing why I was so upset she just rolled over and went back to sleep. 

I got to sleep with my oldest Neice for two nights in the middle of our trip and was almost relieved to get a break from the nightly beating I had been getting from her little sister. Much to my dismay sleeping with her was not that much better.  She would click the entire night. I have no idea how she does this, her mouth doesn’t move at all yet the sound similar to that of a ticking clock, ricochets off every wall in the room. Then she would posture in her sleep. She would strike a weird pose with her arms outstretched or elbows and knees up and just freeze like that.  Her body would be rock hard set in what ever position she was in.  It was like sleeping next to someone with rigor mortis. It was the most insane thing. She is a dancer so maybe she was literally striking a pose? I don’t know?

All I know is I couldn’t wait to get back home to my own magnificent oversized bed. I knew I would enjoy every moment of my naked solitude and end up sleeping completely spread equal in the middle of my mattress, just because I can!  Don’t you know that is exactly what I did. And when I woke up this morning after a full night sleep, I went right back to sleep for another three hours because I needed the sleep so badly. 

Just Another Vacation in LoLa-Land 

It’s Mine

There is something in me
A little hopeful something in me
Just waiting to come out of me

There is something in me
A little light that tries to quide
A purpose stronger than needs
Yet something I tend to hide

There’s something in me
I keep it wrapped up nice and tight
A little something no one ever sees
Hope thriving in darkness waiting for light

There is something in me
A little hopeful something in me
Just waiting to come out of me

A little hopeful something in me
That knows what I’m all about
It lends me a chance to believe
While I shower myself in self doubt

A little hopeful something in me
Wishing to come out of me and shine
Telling stories that make me happy
A perfect future that’s simply Devine

There is something in me
A little hopeful something in me
Just Waiting to come out of me

Just waiting to come out of me
This passion I have for what I want to do
Helping me become what I wish to be
Keeping me focused when I feel I’ve no clue 

Waiting to come out of me
Come from me as a beautiful sonnet
This little peice is all I need
It’s mine and I’ll always be a part of it

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog


2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan