Tracey And Her Friends

I’ve written about my friend Tracey before, primarily because she’s Note worthy. I wrote an entire post called, Doing It Tracey’s Way because I found the time I spent with her so fun. So of course going to Las Vegas with her seemed like a Kick Ass idea.  We had a blast as I suspected. The first night when she wasn’t sick to her stomach, was an adventure. We did lots of walking around on the strip and even went to old strip or rather “Freemont Street” and in usual Tracey style she asked me to take pictures of her with any random type of character she could. There was one I didn’t snap a photo of because I was looking for our Uber but I did manage to get these.  

This lovely lady was in one of the door ways of our hotel; offset high up in her own little brick alcove. Tracey climbed into the cove and proceeded to pretend licking the statues private parts, while yelling at me to “take a picture!!!”  

After that she stayed a little tame which I found very surprising because…. It’s Vegas baby. Things are always heating up there.  

We had a lot of fun posing and shopping inside the Bellagio.   I think Tracey’s next boyfriend is standing behind the horse.  

She just loves the characters. I wonder if she’s a furrie Deep down?  (You Never know and I’m not judging either way). 
This one is the one I wanted a picture of.  In California there is a very strict “no open alcoholic containers in public” law. See, I was already trippen when we were leaving the restaurant and the waitress gave us both a to-go cup of our booze.  You can’t do that in California, the liquor stays in the bar or home. So, to be able to be not only walking around in public with alcohol; but, to be doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COPS!!! Well, that just blew my mind. Holly crap! I’m not going to get arrested. So, this time I asked if I could get a picture. 

No they aren’t strippers. Everyone who sees the picture now thinks that they were. But, like I told my Neice, “I’ve never been bashful about admitting when I’ve hung out with strippers before. Why would I start lying now?”  Here’s how in shock I was.  I was so giddy to be drinking I was more concerned with my cup showing in the picture that I didn’t even notice how hot the two cops were until I looked at the picture later.  

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Doing It Tracey’s Way

Today was probably one of the craziest days I have ever had and I enjoyed every single moment of it. My friend Tracey invited me to her house for cocktails and then said we could walk to the fairgrounds and bet on the horse races.  This of course, all sounded like a lot of fun to me so I said, “totally! Let’s do it”!

When I showed up at Tracey’s house she was already two drinks ahead of me. We made up a pitcher of stiff pina colodas and within in an hour I drank three glasses full and was feeling very …..good.  While we drank she decided she wanted to paint my toe nails.  So, we sat In The back patio and drank, while she painted my toes. When she was done we walked over to the fairgrounds (which turned out to not be the best decision for my toes).

We went straight to the horse races when we got to the fair.  She had pre-purchased two seats for us in the grandstand.  We bet on four races where I lost a total of $12.00 (yes I’m a big gambler). Tracey and I watched the horses before hand and speculated on who would win and why (pretending like we knew what we were talking about). Finally on the seventh race I bet on two horse to win or place, breaking the bank and betting another  $12.  Both my horse came in and I won a wopping $14.00!!  I lost $10 in two hours and had the best time doing it.

We left the races at this point and grabbed some food. Which was of course very expensive and horrible for my body, yet so damn good. We sat and listened to some blues and then decided to go over to the rides.  It was a braclet day which means you pay one large price but you can ride all the rides as many times as you want.  Tracy was super excited to ride one particular ride that required closed toe shoes. She and I were both wearing flip flops. But, Tracy really wanted to ride this particular ride.  So, she approched this girl who’s Boyfriend wanted to ride the same ride but she didn’t, and asked her if she could rent her shoes?  The young girl actually agreed to it. So, Tracey and this girls boyfriend went on the ride while the two of us open toed shoe girls stayed on solid ground.  I could not stop laughing. I thought the whole thing was hysterical.

Tracy in the strangers shoes

Tracey apparently also had a thing for taking photos of herself doing inappropriate things to objects, chairs, sculptures, ornamental items etc. she came across this statue at the fair and demanding I take a picture of her.  Just as I hit the button to snap the photo she posed.   Here’s the shot she wanted.

I again, found myself cracking up.  All I kept thinking was, “this girls crazy. And I’m loving it!”

After just a few rides I was sick and needed to walk around and get some water. Apparently, middle age, alcohol and spinning rides don’t mix.  Tracy and I decided to do some retail therapy and check out the new must have’s in the “merchant” pavilion.  It’s basically all the stuff you see sold on TV, for sale in one big warehouse. You can get anything from Jewlery to hot tubs, candy to alarm systems. I’ve always walked by most vendors without stopping or talking because I’ve never needed a $6000.00 vibrating recliner. But Tracey, jumped into each and every chair she could find to try them out and I followed suit. Those were some of the best damn massaging chairs I have ever been in. Then she made us lay on the vibrating bending mattress that only cost $10,0000.  There we laid in this amazing mattress with people walking all around us and all I could do was giggle.

I have to say going with Tracey was probably the best time I have ever had at the fair in my life and this was probably my 30th visit to the fair.  We spent hours there and left only an hour before closing.  When we walked home in the darkness and we were both freezing because the sun that warned us all day was now gone. Funny enough, My body didn’t even ache a bit like it normally would when I left the fair.  I’m sure it’s because of all  the massages I got in the merchant pavilion.

Tracey and I

I would go with Tracey to the fair anytime. Because doing it Tracey’s way sure was a whole lot of fun.

Just another funtastic day in LoLa-Land

Solitaire 

I love to play spider solitaire or regular solitaire.  I don’t think I’m very good because I always “cheat”.  At least people say I cheat,  because I will keep going through the deck until there is just no more moves. Some people say, when playing  proper solitaire you can only go through the extra deck once.  I say “screw that! It’s a game I’m playing against myself! I’m going to have fun. And winning is fun”. I’m not what people would call a gamer, I just love solitaire. 

I don’t know about any of you but when I am playing card games on the computer, and I click a card to flip it over, I always secretly imagine that there’s a little man doing it. A little man like a “Mr Vanna” is waiting for me inside my computer for me to make my choices and then implementing the change. 

I can hear a little male voice in my head when I’m taking awhile to decide my next move saying, “Jesus woman it’s not rocket science just pick a fricken card!” Or “maybe she’s dead ? what are you doing? Make a play!”  He’s a very irritable and inpatient little computer man I tell you. He can really be quite abusive to me.  He’s always got some feedback about my choices and they never seem to be very kind. 

Sometimes when I make a really  stupid mistake or a move that even makes me wonder “what the hell was I thinking”, I swear I can hear him being just as abusive. But I hear him first, as soon as I touch the card.  As he’s turning it over for me he’s already saying, “wow you really must be special”or “what kind of move was that? A monkey could have picked a more sensible card”. 

Is this just me? Does anyone else have any really weird ideas of what happens inside a computer? Am I the only one that has a mean little dude turning cards for them? How many dudes are stuck working in there anyway?  

Just another questioning moment in LoLa-Land 

Day 2 Fashon or Bust

Yesterday had a very real theme of rich spicy food and tons of alcohol. Starting with the cheddar and jalopena stuffed tator-Tots and sloppy joes nachos for breakfast.  Then lunch was some salted Carmel vegan ice cream. Bringing us to dinner of barbecue meats and homemade mac and cheese. But, that is not really what I want to tell you about as I sit sick to my stomach this morning. (Gee I wonder why? Could it have been the fried shrimp deviled eggs? )

In the middle of our rampage of consumption through Manhattan we also went to the underground gallery at FIT (Fashon institute of technology). Which is not some top secret gallery. No it’s just located underground.  They were displaying looks by Suzanne Bartsch. Which was a perfect venue for her looks considering she was a fashonite from Switerland originally but then she moved to London and then opened a clothing boutique in SoHo of what people considered, underground Fashon. 

Underground Fashon eludes to self expression and transformation through Fashon.  It is distinguishable from mainstream Fashon because it is creative and can border on performance art.  Her style and the looks she brought to America brought the downtown gay, straights, Fashon forward and art enthusiasts together.  She was amazing at pulling together looks from items you may not consider clothing. Such as deer skulls for hats or Barbie legs as a pho-Mohawk.  

 
I was shocked by her looks. Not living here or being a big Fashon fan I’ve never heard of this woman but when looking at some of her ensembles it seems she is probably a real fun person to know. 

These were the looks that greeted me at the door of the exhibit.  


Susanne it’s seems, is stylish at all times, but the looks pradomently show in her exhibit were her club (nightlife) looks.  Most of them had a lot of skin showing or exaggerations of the female form, with fake rubber nipples added in or not much covering her backside. 

  
She feels, “style is about expressing yourself. You can be whatever you want to be- a silver screen star, a Marie Antoinette baroque creature, or a Victorian punk. I love that about Fashon and makeup.” 

  
 I was shocked by the use of materials. I saw one dress where the boobs had old change purse clasps sitting above each breast. Only then to realize the bra part is actually the fabric pouch of the chain purse.  And yet as weird as that all is, it still looked great. She has a way of still looking stunning and provacative even while sporting a makeshift feed bag. 

   
 
I wish I had this woman’s eye for Fashon. I also wish I had her seemingly endless funds to make it all a reality. Being able to work with famous designers to collobarate on looks would be an amazing experience. 

 
She worked with the famous “Mr. pearl” on one of his first ever corsets. (Seen above)  I was struck by the detailed work and beauty of this piece. The hours that must have gone into making it. It is a piece of art and I almost feel needs to be hung in a museum or art gallery. 

If you live in New York and you love Fashon. I suggest you check it out. 

susanne Bartsch

How Thoughtful Is He?

A really good friend of mine asked me if he could give my number to a Friend of his. He said, “LoLa this guy Liam is just like you, totally happy all the time, full of life, sarcastic as all hell and single”. Of course that all sounded great to me, so he gives Liam my number. That was two weeks ago and Liam and I have started talking a lot. He is exactly as my friend said he is. He is funny, happy, sarcastic and even more sexually perverse then me and not even slightly bothered by my sexual candor. We couldn’t wait to meet one another but had to,  for two weeks, due to our alternating work schedules. Finally last night I got to meet him. 

The deal was, if I drive the 45 minutes to his house he would plan the evening for us, and he did. He also told me “bring your sleepover bag and stay in my guest room I don’t want you driving home late and I know we will have fun and you won’t want to leave. Your virtue is safe with me don’t worry I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. ”

When I arrived at his house he had left his parking spot open for me, and hung a rose on a string from the top of the carport. It was so sweet.  

  
 Greeting me right away with a compliment and a kiss.  Saying to me, “You are even prettier in person. Now let’s just get this over with” and he kissed me for the first time.  Once inside his home I saw the wine was Already poured and waiting for me.  We sat and enjoyed our juice while laughing over numerous banter. Finally we chose to go get dinner and walked the six blocks to the town square. We had more drinks and ate a yummy meal while sitting outside In a romantic courtyard, discussing what foods to try. It was a lovely meal and the company was equally as lovely. 

We walked back to his home after our three hour meal and he reminded me how to play poker. (Of course quick to suggest strip poker but since I would be completely naked in three round and was just relearning it seemed like a bad idea. )  We played cards, drank more wine and jaw jacked for hours.  Finally I fell asleep in his very comfortable guest room,  which he actually rewashed all of the sheets just for me, in nonscent – non dye  detergent, because I mentioned once I had sensitive skin. 

I slept like a dream with only The birds to wake me up. I texted him to see if he was awake and he soon walked into my borrowed room with this  

 

Had I just met Prince Charming? Pinch me am I awake?  It was so yummy I ate every bit of it up! I will so be seeing this man again. 

Just another first date in single Lola-land 

Oh Naughty Me

Sometimes a girl just needs to be bad; Don’t you agree?  I was feeling very amorous this evening. Having had a flirty conversation that got me a little revved up inside, I needed a place to transfer all of my pent up energy on. 
I have a FWB (friend with benefits) that I had not called on in quite some time, so I was not sure if the friendship still fell under the same guidelines. So, I gave him a call to feel out the water and see if He might be receptive to a visit.  It was like no time had passed at all when we spoke and without straight up asking I was definitely given the ” OK to call whenever” sign  (Love that). 

Little did he know I was thinking right then sounded good to me. So, I went to my room and took every single thing I had on, off.  I then put on this very tight, very short slip of a summer dress, with nothing on underneith. I blowdried my hair to make it really wavy. I then added my usual false eyelashes and pink shimmer lipgloss and I was ready to walk out the door. 

I felt so sexy driving to his house. I felt like I do when I vacumn in just a G-string and bra.  I knew what I was planning and no one else did and that excited me. The fabric of my car seat on my bare ass excited me. Cars drove by and I wondered if they could see my boobs bouncing around without their normal containment, and that made me excited.  It was a wonderful drive I must say. 

He lives down a really long private road that he shares with a few neighbors here and there, no one you can see from the road or from his home.  As I got right in front of his house I quickly pulled the dress off and threw it on the passenger seat. I saw him sitting on his porch when I pulled up, he was on the phone. 

I heard him him say to the stranger on the other end, “oh LoLa’s here”.

 I got out of my car and walked through the  arbor so he could finally see me. His eyes grew very large and after a long Pause he said into the phone. “She’s completely naked dad” (oh my god! Is all I can think. This relationship can never be serious because I can now, Never meet this mans dad).  

He keeps talking to HIs DAD, “umm no she’s pretty much butt naked. She has nothing on but A purse!” 

With that. I let him take another up and down scan of my body and then I walked away slowly, swinging my hips just enoug as I walked into his house.  Once inside I heard him say, “uh hu, uh hu, yeah uh hu, hey dad, uh hu hey umm. Dad” I could hear his frustrations. Then the resolve where he actually listened and then finally he was able to speak,

“Dad, she really was completely Naked!” 

To which his father said, “oh well, you better go take care of that.” 

Within seconds my FWB was rushing through the front door and swooping me up into his arms. 

Good times in LoLa Land 

Friday Night Lights In Your 40’s

I’m single and 40(something), when I say, ” Friday night lights” I don’t really mean the same thing as when I was in my 20’s and 30’s. Back then it was short skirts and dance clubs until 2 am. Now it’s …..

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Bowling!!!

I met up with well over 30 people and we all bowled two games together. We took up four lanes at the alley. We needed 5 but the alley manager really wanted the lane for the other patrons.

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It took us 2.5 hours to finish bowling. But, we all had a blast. I actually got three strikes and three spares. The first game I rolled a 106, the second game was an absolute slaughter at 47. When we are all done half of us kept going and some how I ended up doing karaoke with a bunch of crazy ladies.

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It’s karaoke time!

At one point a few of us had to go “kama-Kozzie” and got up together in front of everyone to sing what ever the DJ chose. And he chose “holiday” by Madonna . I didn’t realize how long and repetitive that song is but the crowd must have liked it because at one point they formed a Congo line.

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It’s dance time!

At one point even the bartender came out and danced with all the ladies when we were singing again. Let’s just say it was a fantastic night. I laughed so many times it was great.

Just another fun filled Friday night in single LoLa-land

Hooker Heels

I wore my hooker heels tonight. It’s been quite sometime since I have dared to take them out. It is always a scary adventure for me when I wear them.

They are lovingly called “hooker heels!” not because some hooker owned them, or because I am a hooker, it isn’t anything so naughty as that. They are called hooker heels because they are bright red, velvet, 6 inch, stiletto heals that are a half a size to big for me. So, not taking into consideration the fact that i am standing what feels like 2 feet taller than usual on a very, very small tip, I am also slipping out of the back of my shoe with every step I take.

But I digress, I wore my hooker heels because they went well with my all black skimpy little t-shirt dress and I knew I would be doing a lot of sitting and very little walking. Which made tonight, the perfect night for the “hooker heels”.

I had a blast ridiculing and making fun of myself because of the sexy reds. When the bartender asked me, “how do you walk with those on?”
I giggled out loud because I knew I barely could, and then I promptly fell into the wall next to me as I lost my balance. I love to make comments about “the air being thinner up here” or “I keep getting nose bleeds, I’m so tall”. Maybe I do this because even though I love them, I know they are not me, so I feel ridiculous.

I know these big red heels are crazy for me to even attempt to wear. I am fully aware of the risks that I am taking with every step. I am the girl who has given herself at least two self induced black eyes and three self induced concussions. The shear number of times I have hurt myself in flats for no reason, makes me particularly insane, to wear such a precarious shoe.
Yet, knowing all of this, all of the odds that are naturally stacked against me , due to the clumsy gene I have been dealt, I wore those damn sexy shoes out tonight and honestly, I felt damn hot in them.

Who cares really, I’m in my 40’s.

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The New Super Hero

Sound the horns for the New Super Hero has emerged; Welcome all, it’s “Corporate Man”!

Corporate Man is the newest of the cape crusaders! He can leap piles of paperwork in a single bound. He is faster at typing then his receptionist. Stronger than the egotistical assholes he has to suffer through meetings with. He is even more powerful then some heads of state.

Corporate Man comes with any tool a successful crusader should have. Pre-written contracts neatly stored in a secret pocket of his cape. Pocket protectors stored with a surplus of mechanical pencils, ball point pens, red sharpie and reading glasses, are stored in his handy crusader belt. His blue tooth, tablet, blackberry, and laptop all have different specialty pockets that line his corporate armor. The three current books he is reading are all in electric form stored in his cloud.

Corporate Man’s crusade is to save fledgling companies and to promote gifted individuals in the business world. He will astound you with his fast talking and witty advice. He will blow you away with his 40 minute power point presentation. He will defend his flock of business against all arch enemies by relaying lessons from great scholars and his ancestors who were quiet heroes themselves.

Nothing scares Corporate Man. Not even the fear of corporate take over he will defend all the attackers with his ability to think fast and make even faster decisions.

All will fear and admire the Corporate Mans skills. He will amaze everyone with his astounding knowledge while leaving a wave of memos and mission statements behind him, because he is Corporate Man.

No business will ever be the same again.

Story of good fortune

A friend of mine went to the local casino because it is the new big attraction around here. She had never been gambling before so she was excited to try her luck. She walked into the lush bright new casino with $140.00 in her pocket and hopes to leave with more.

She started at a slot machine. Having never gambled before she thought it would be an easy way to get her feet wet. She put $20.00 in and pushed a few buttons and before she knew it her $20.00 was just a memory and the devil of a machine was asking for more funds. Frustrated she got up to find a new machine.
She then sat down at one of the old school machines that have only three rolling bars and the big silver handle to pull. She figured this would be easier than the other one that ate all her money so quickly. She tried to read the directions that stated what pictures would be winners and started to play. She thought it was a penny machine, not realizing it was a $5.00 slots.
She pulled the handle and watched the spinning pictures go. When they stopped she couldn’t tell if she won or not. So she pulled the handle again. Again she was unsure if she won or lost but it still said she had credit in the machine so she pulled the lever again. Still there were no big whistles or lights; she was starting to become irritated. “Why couldn’t she win ANYTHING!?” She tried the lever one more time but this time it would not work. She thought to herself, “How the hell did I go through $20 in two pulls?” She was about to get up and find yet another machine when she read this weird small print scrolling past her on the screen, “you have won! Please wait for an attendant”.
She was so confused, “what did she win? Why did she have to have attendant? Was she in trouble? What did she do wrong? “. She turned to the strange man sitting next to her and said, “Do you know what’s wrong with this thing!”
He looked at her slots machine, grunts and irritated says, “Yah you won”.
“Really!? How much?” She asks him.
“You won ten thousand dollars” he responds blankly.
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME”!!!! She squealed as she sat stunned.
“I have never gambled before in my life and I JUST WON $10,000 DOLLARS” declared my 50 (something) year old friend as the stranger grunted again.  Soon a crowd had formed around her as I am sure they waited for the presentation of her big cardboard check. Still stunned, this single mother of two college age children, living in subsidized housing, who is always struggling to make her monthly bills, turned to the crowd and said joyfully, “I bet you all wish you were me right now!”
I tell you this couldn’t have happened to a better person. It’s been a week and she is still on cloud nine. She has had a grin on her face for the entire week and has reveled in the realization that she CAN buy those nice pots and pans she has been coveting. She can buy the new fancy sewing machine she has been salivating over for years. For the first time,  in as long as she remembers, she can buy whatever her kids want and buy them easily. We went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday and as she sat the bar with me with her huge grin she turned to me and said, “I can buy everyone in here a drink if I want to!”
I am so happy for her joy and I know she will be wise about how she uses it.

Previous Older Entries

Coloring Project – The Frog

Frog

2010 Summer Reading List

Sookie Stackhouse, the complete stories A touch of Dead
Finger Prints & Facelifts
His First Wife, Gracce Octavia
The promise of happiness, Justin Cratwright
Silk & Shadows
Wifey
The Honey Thief
The marriage
Ya ya Sisterhood book # 3
The Other Boleyn Girl
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher
3 book flower series by Nora Roberts
The Kept woman
Twlight book # 4
twlight book #3

Coloring Project – The Swan